MCHN to get training in controlled crying

[Jodie259]

I am one of those mothers who has a child that just won't sleep. I have tried so much stuff... including one-on-one advice from Pinky, and a 'day stay' at a sleep school when he was 8 weeks old.

Initially my son would not sleep/nap at all during the day - would be overtired and 'feral' during the evening... and would eventually fall asleep at midnight - then wake regularly during the night.

The sleep school was the best thing that I did because they taught me how to settle my child WITHOUT controlled crying. In fact, they were AGAINST CC. They also DIDN'T boohoo co-sleeping.

My son still spends a few hours each morning co-sleeping with us - purely because I am exhausted by 6am and don't have the energy to get up one more time. In previous months he has spent entire nights with us. But, in honesty, I don't want my son to sleep with my DH and I all night. I treasure the time I spend with my DH - alone. We are thinking of having another child, and 3-in-the-bed is not really romantic. Also, my husband thrashes about in bed - so when my son is in bed with us I am never really asleep as I am always keeping an eye on him. We have a doona - and I'm always paranoid that the doona will rise up to him. And if he's not covered, I'm paranoid that he's getting cold.

I have tried everything - music, swaddling, massage, co-sleeping, Braughers (sp), warm baths... to name a few. Due to sleep school training, I can now get him to sleep during the day (usually for short naps) - which makes him more relaxed in the evening - and he now goes down for his night sleep at 8pm. But he wakes every 2-4 hours.

I can completely understand how mothers could suffer PND from sleep deprivation that goes on for months (or possibly years!). I imagine it is worse for first time mothers like myself. You are told lots of things to try... and they just don't seem to work. I'm lucky that I am 38yo, have a wonderful husband who gives me 'time out' , have run a business for 13 years, can deal with stress and sleep deprivation. I'm not suffering from PND. But I would give anything to have 5 hours sleep!!

So on Monday I am going back to sleep school for a 5 day residential stay. They will be able to see my son "in action" and give us support and techniques to get him to settle - which is not crying. No doubt there are some sleep schools that still practice that method - but not the one that I have been. They do not believe in swaddling either.

I agree with Kelly that there is a LACK OF SUPPORT for mothers. Thus the reason that MCHN's should be trained in sleep settling. My idea is that there should be POST birth training (at the hospitals) - just as there are pre-natal classes. They should teach settling, first aid/CPR and feeding. I had no idea how to prepare food (how much, how to cook it, what to start with, how long...). I don't have a mother, and my MIL is overseas.

I'm older than most of the mothers in this forum... and you might be interested to know what I was given AS A BABY... back in the 60's - when I wouldn't sleep..... VALIUM. Yep, it's right there on my baby book. It was "one for mummy, one for baby".
So we should be glad that times have changed since then.