Oh Meg, you poor thing. It sounds like you are feeling very frazzled. Perhaps Coco is over tired now if she can't be settled?

If you want to try and get her into a nice rhythm for the evening, have you thought about having a little "routine" like giving her a nice long deep bath (I know Jacob used to find this so relaxing that he'd fall asleep in the bath!), followed by some quiet time with you in a dark, warm room and having a nice long feed. Over time she may associate that with her big overnight sleep. I'm not saying that you should put in place any kind of rigid routine as I don't really think little babies can really 'fit' into any strict routine, I just mean something that is nice and relaxing for all of you and that can be a bit flexible....done around those awake times and that gently helps little ones undersand the difference between night and day over time.

Perhaps when you think she is tired, you could set up some kind of little 'sleep cue' or 'sleep message' for her so over time she knows those words/actions mean sleep - it may help her feel a bit more secure? You would probably be doing a lot of other hands on things too - wrapping, rocking, stroking or even music, massage, that kind of thing too, particularly when she is this little and needs your help with sleep.

I'm just tossing around ideas here Meg. I know how frustrating this must be for you.