not sleeping so well anymore

[Lewis's Mummy]

I'm all confused... DS was sleeping pretty well until about 3 weeks ago. He was going down for the night at about 6:30 and sleeping til midnight when he'd wake for a feed, then straight back down til about 4 for another feed and then we'd be awake to start the day somewhere around 7. Now he's stirring/waking every 2 hours and from 4 am or so it's every hour... I thought it was because we got out of our semblence of a routine when we visited my parents interstate, but we've been home for 2 weeks now...

I still wrap him; he has a dummy when he first goes to sleep but doesn't wake when it falls out, just wakes later. Sometimes he'll quieten when I first walk into the room, other times he rolls his head around with mouth wide open until I put the dummy back in. What I don't understand is that he didn't do that before... he just stayed asleep with or without the dummy.

He has a bath and cuddle/story before bedtime and a feed before or after the bath depending on whether he wants it. Feeds in the day are much shorter now - maybe he has too much to see and do - but at night he feeds well. The feeds certainly don't bother me, it's the 2 hourly wake up thing when he's not hungry. He's not cold, not too warm, just seems to be calling out and wanting a cuddle, pat, face stroking or similar. Last night I tried to resettle him without the dummy and it worked but he still woke up 2 hours later...

Is this just a phase that will pass? I can cope with it at the moment, but I'm just wondering what happened? I'm hoping it settles down - I'm starting to get tired like I did when he was first born and DH doesn't hear him and has to go to work anyway so I have to get up every time... He still naps pretty well during the day and I'm reluctant to stretch the naps out more because he just gets way too grumpy if he doesn't have a nap...

I wish he could tell me what to do... but as he can't can any of you who've been here before give me some hints?

[KatieRabbit]

My DD was doing the same thing but not half as bad- just waking at odd times for no seeable reason. However, the dummy usually worked for her to get back to sleep. Perhaps DS is just looking for comfort and it may take a few nights to get back on track but could you go in to him and comfort him without talking or picking him up? As in holding his hand, stroking, humming until he is back to sleep. I think two things here:
1. Keep it constant whatever you do so it becomes a go back to sleep signal. A little hummed tune works a treat. So do the same thing every single time. And you may have to do it a few nights as I mentioned.
2. It is a phase and it will pass. I have found with DD that any changes (sleep) always revert back to her normal after 1, 2 or 3 nights. I get alarmed thinking that it will continue only to find that it NEVER does.
I would keep up the day naps as you are doing. That is unless he is getting too much sleep during the day. I think recommended (take with lge pinch salt) sleep at this age during the day is 4.5 to 6 hours. DD (same age) usually has about 2.5 to 4 hours on average.

[MantaRay]

How's it going now LM? Has it settled down? I think 4 months is a common time for this. Many mums mistake it for baby needing solids but that rarely helps. I think it's mostly because they just hit a new level of alertness around then and there is too much going on. I hope you are getting some more sleep now.

[boo]

How are things going LM? My DS has been doing the same thing for over a week now - only he's waking every hour from about 1am (he used to sleep for 12 hours, maybe waking once during the night) - I thought he could be having a "wonder week" but i'm starting to worry that he's formed a habit i'm not going to be able to break! I've tried settling him without he's dummy but it just won't work, I think the dummy might be half our problem, i'm starting to pull my hair out!!

[Lewis's Mummy]

The day naps are soooooo frustrating now... it all goes hand in hand with my feeding probs in the bf support thread... no longer needing 3 naps of 90 mins, instead seems to need 4 or 5 and they're lucky to last an hour. Before he was self settling for the naps, now it's hell... I have to rock,jiggle, sway, pat, sing - you name it I'm trying it. He has always fought sleep, but it's getting ridiculous - I can see how tired he is and he'll be thrashing about with his eyes barely able to be open and gradually nods off only to start again half a minute later... He's so alert and 'busy' when he's awake during the day but we've also got to the point where he needs me there to entertain him (unless the dog is chasing his tail or something which grabs DS's attention) I'm just really really tired - I feel like I did when he was a new born...

[Rahjah]

Oh gosh I could have written your post.

Is this just a developmental thing or what? I've been trying to work out what's WRONG but maybe there is nothing?

[Snacks]

Hi girls. Like MR, I'm convinced there's some developmental thing that goes on at 4 months. It happened in our house too. (And LM, I initially blamed it on an interstate trip as well.)
I think it is pretty individual as to how long it lasts, how to deal with it and what's effective for each baby. Our frequent night-waking didn't resolve til about 7-8 months old, but that's not to say yours wont get better earlier, KWIM? I hope it gets better for you guys really soon.

[casscart]

I've been having the same thing happen to my dd. She has completely changed her sleeping pattern, and it seems she's never asleep longer then 2hrs at a time throughout the night. I'm so glad I have read this thread and now know others are going through what I'm going through because I was starting to think I was doing something really wrong with my baby.(SO SORRY I don't mean I'm happy you all are having sleepless nights)

[Lewis's Mummy]

lol kwym about being happy casscart! Isn't it reassuring to know there are others going through a similar thing. Barb posted a link on a bf thread to do with guilt and starting solids... and MR linked to it again on another one... which was about wakeful 4 month olds and it completely described my DS, so that helped me feel better. Hopefully we're over the worst hump of it now and I'm not so teary about the whole business, so maybe I'm more calm too - DS seems to be better during the day and my tendonitis in my wrists is settling down again after flaring up with all the jiggling and patting. Still waking every 2 hours at night, but I guess it's just something that will pass eventually. I can't be bothered trying to solve the problem by taking away dummy or all that sort of thing as it would mean I'd get even less sleep in the process and wouldn't necessarily work anyway. I'm trying to look for lots of little positives each day - like now he puts the dummy in (sort of) himself during the day, and he giggles at the tree outside the window when it moves in the breeze... guess we just have to keep everything in perspective...

[mamatochompers]

I'm trying to look for lots of little positives each day - like now he puts the dummy in (sort of) himself during the day, and he giggles at the tree outside the window when it moves in the breeze... guess we just have to keep everything in perspective...

Hi LM,

I think if you can do that while being so badly sleep deprived you're doing better than most mums. My 2c is that it sounds like his sleep patterns are changing, but could he also be sleeping more lightly in the night because it's a bit colder? If he's not sleeping at night I think it would eventually affect his daytime sleep too.

We have had so many probs with our 9 month old, made all the more frustrating by advice to "just let him cry...babies cry..." ugh. Anyway. Have you read Elizabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution"? It helped us so much because even though it takes time and energy to implement a new sleeping plan, you can see progress in the smallest of increments pretty quickly.

Also, I haven't read your bf thread, but does he feed to sleep? If so, would you consider clearing a space on the floor of his room and feeding him to sleep for naps, and leaving him to sleep in that space? That's another thing that really worked for us. Saved my wrists and allowed him to get a little bit of good sleep every day.

Anyway I hope you sort something out soon.

All the best.

[casscart]

Lewis's Mum - Did you have a better night last night? It is very reassuring knowing their are other mummies out there up at night like me, I don't feel so lonely now when I'm up . I had a better night last night. DD only woke up once at 4AM for a feed and then at 5AM for her dummy, then she slept till 7AM. So I was stoked and happier this morning. There is no way I would try to take the dummy away from an unsettled baby just yet, thats in my opinion if you want to keep some of your sanity LOL . Fingers crossed for a good night tonight :cross-fingers:

[Lewis's Mummy]

Had a great night last night! Put him to bed at 7 and didn't hear from him til 2am! It's been over a month since that last happened. Admitedly he then woke every hour wanting cuddles or another feed until 5, but hey, I'll take what I can get I have read Elizabeth Pantley's book... out of interest a few months ago, and back then didn't really need it... have to borrow it again. Also like Pinky's 'Sleeping like a Baby' as it reminded me that this will all pass and I'm already doing so many of the things she suggested. I don't feed him to sleep, but he hasn't been feeding so well during the day so is probably more hungry at night. Thankfully that seems to be changing and he's feeding during the day again. Fingers crossed for another night with less 'room service' calls lol.