Ok I really need some solutions

[BekZ]

Marcellus - I think I need to read that book. I am starting to get a few comments from ppl regarding Eva's sleep habits. Recently one lady told me to refuse to feed her overnight and just let her cry until she gets it!!!! The same lady told me my middle daughter will always feel like the odd one out because she was born 2nd

[onthefly]

The same lady told me my middle daughter will always feel like the odd one out because she was born 2nd

that's weird.

It's a good read and she really does have lots of helpful advice - there might be something in there to help. Pink McKay's another good one, or even Sears. They don't just give you a program you have to slavishly follow, but start out by tyring to help parents learn to trust their instincts and build a strong bond with their babies. So your starting point is "This is my baby and this is what my baby needs" Not "This is what your baby should be doing"

[Willow]

Oh Bek My heart goes out to you because I have been there, I really have. Although I must admit, DS1 never flat out refused to go to sleep like that but it was often a battle to get him to go to sleep. Sounds like you're doing it really tough and I know this has been going on for a while.

I can't offer any solutions that I think you'll like because as you know, we ended up going to sleep school (and no, we didn't CIO with him despite the automatic assumption) and that's the only thing that changed his sleep habits for us.

I am thinking of you though and am here always for a shoulder to cry on. We're going through a bit of a rough patch with DS2 so I am remembering just how hard it is.

**ETA: Just had a thought...do you have any one like Pinky McKay in QLD that could come to the house? Someone who doesn't use CIO methods? It would probably be expensive but I'm sure you'd agree it'd be worth it!!

[BekZ]

Ta Willow. I know I sound really pathetic but Eva's sleep challenges are really taking a toll on me physically and mentally. I am not sure if there is anyone like Pinky in QLD. I so wish I went to her workshop that she held last year!!!

Well tonight went a bit better. I laid down with her for a feed (like we do most nights) then instead of putting her straight to bed I walked around with her in my arms for a bit. I then wrapped her and she has gone down ok.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I thought that was normal for a six-month-old baby?

My DS needed to go to sleep in my arms at 6m. Then I had to try to get him into his bed and keep him asleep. He wouldn't always feed to sleep either: that was when the hours walking up and down the hall meant we needed a new carpet this year LOL.

I tried everything I could - read the Pinky McKay and Elizabeth Pantley stuff. I was doing most of it anyway and the other suggestions didn't work.

You're not wrong - your baby is just wanting you and you're responding to that. It takes it out of you a lot, but you're doing it RIGHT, not wrong!

Solutions... well, with DS he wasn't feeding to sleep, so he would lie on my chest after a feed and I'd pat him to sleep (at about 10m old - didn't work before then). After a while of this, I'd pat him in his bed. He complained about this, but wasn't distressed because I was there patting and singing. He just preferred my arms - which were about to drop off. He still likes being patted, but it isn't always required any more. I can tell him I'm going to the loo and he can go to sleep on his own... and he does!

Stop fighting your daughter. Acknowledge it is hard, but "hard" comes with babies! Do what you can for her. Accept it. Whinge about it. But don't try to force something on her unless you have to.

[Nettie]

Awww

What else is going on at the time? Is it well-lit? Noisy? Lots going on? We didn't realise how stimulating the environment was for DS until we did the NCSS evaluation...

It's important to have triggers that bubs recognises means sleep. We used wrapping (now grobags), taggie (blanky), certain music (Loreena McKennit) and a darkened room with no eye contact and no talking (except 'sleepytime now' or 'shhhh') - but other things might work ok for your bubs (like the fitball). The most important thing is that it's EXACTLY the same each time. You will need at least 3-5 times before bubs starts recognising the signs.

Now - we have very few issues and he actually helps us by grabbing taggie and the grobag when he's tired!

Good luck! I recommend both books to you - even if it's only one thing in there that helps you...

[Panda74]

Can you have a chat to DH? If you're not on the same page about this it makes it really hard for you to be calm and DD may pick up on this?? We went through similar - when I thought DH was frowning on my breastfeeding to sleep it really undermined my confidence and I had a bit of a crisis - really started to doubt myself and stopped enjoying those lovely moments with DS.. DH and I had a talk and we agreed if I am doing the settling then we're doing it my way. DH also wanted to do CIO.

I remember thinking 6 months was supposed to be a fun time but found DS needed a little more love, more cuddles. Theres no way I would be able to put him down not completely asleep! The not feeding to sleep anymore sounds like maybe somethings going on with her too - teeth? In which case I'm hoping for you this will all be over in a few days..

You sound like a fantastic Mum who is sensitive to your DDs needs! Things that work for us (we breastfeed to sleep) are a darkroom and white noise (we have a noisy air cooler) and I don't move a muscle til DS is completely floppy asleep!