umm..ok she went to sleep. Cried for about 10 mins and I went in and comforted her twice and rewrapped and made sure she was ok and still on her back. Then she stopped crying and I went in and didn't let her see me and she was kicking around then slowly moving less and less and went to sleep.
I just feel awful though, wouldn't call it successful. My poor baby girl What if she thinks I don't love her?? I just needed a break though, it was too much
Heaven It is so very hard. DD has been a shocker for the past week - screaming as soon as she is put into the cot even though she is sound asleep, not settling, not sleeping well. All pear shaped. But it will get better (I have to think that or lose the plot ) She had one nap today and her eyes were hanging out of her head. But would she sleep ..... Noooooooo!!!!!!!!
Give up tonight. Do what you need to to get through the day. Think about whether she may be teething and that may be causing her distress and adding to the unsettled stuff. Does panadol / nurofen help??
It will get better. If you need to CC and it sits well with you then do what you need to But if you aren't comfortable with it, know that one night is not going to cause her permanent damage and look at your other options tomorrow
Thanks Michelle.
No, panadol or brauers or hylands doesn't help at all so not sure it's teething. It has been going on like this for over a month now. Never been a good sleeper but been worst the past month or so.
No, I'm not comfortable with CC I didn't actually plan on her going to sleep. I didn't think she actually would. Just put her down to get a break bc I was feeling really angry and frustrated so I thought it was best to put her down. Then she stopped crying, then went to sleep.
After she went to sleep though she slept for 2.5hrs, then woke and had a feed and went straight back down for another 3.5hrs!! Longest bit of sleep we've had for AGES. Maybe she was tired from crying I feel terrible.
On the plus side, DH now has a week off! Yay! So we are going to stop using the HAB in the day and sort out her sleep. Hopefully.
The 6-month mark is often VERY bad for sleep & settling.
Might just be a developmental thing, or a peak in separation anxiety or due to introduction of solids (or particular foods she is having). Or something else entirely....
This is when the NCSS went out the window for us, I'm afraid. It would not work. DS needed us with him all night. He did not like his cot anymore. And I think sometimes his tummy was uncomfortable.
Early on around this time I found that not feeding him solids for a few days helped. Some find that avoiding high-GI foods helps. Or other additives etc.
Then we ended up moving him to a mattress on the floor. I slept with him for a few nights, then he was able to sleep alone again....until he started teething.... Some kids are just super sensitive to everything.
Take care of yourself, ok? I know you don't want to do cc, but if you need a break then do it. Make sure your hubby picks up lots of slack in his time off.
Alright, I'm over it. It's not working. The trying to stop rocking to sleep part does not work. We haven't used the HAB for the last week and in that time have only been able to put her down 3 times during the day. It is not getting any better. It's just ridiculous and we can't go on like this. So not sure wtf I'm supposed to do now. Seriously, nothing works.
Heaven, i havent read all of the posts sorry but i wanted to say that i remember my ds at 6 months and his sleep was shocking. We had 4 solid weeks of waking every 1-2 hours each night, He wouldnt stay in his bed, he would fall asleep in our arms then wake the second he was put down. He would go histerical if i left the room for a break etc. I was at my wits end, i wasnt sure what to do or try next and then like magic, one night he just slept for 4 hours then he would have 2 good nights and 1 bad, now the good way out number the bad and he is back to self settling and we are all so much happier.
I guess what i am trying to say id just hang in there - i have no real answers for you ( i dont even know why ds's sleep went crazy) but you are not alone xxxxxxxxx You are doing the best you can and it will get better
Hi Heaven, please, please please go easy on yourself.
You are such a loving caring mum and your DD loves you very much.
We're having a few sleep probs here this week (its the second last wonder week thank god!) and I have found the more you fight with them, the worse you feel.
Sleep problems put you between a rock and a hard place, because you start setting up expectations about what they're "supposed" to do or even what you would like them to do. This means that when they don't do things your way, you get frustrated, even angry (yes I have left DD crying in her cot for 10mins or so more than once to get a break!). And then, the anger and resetment you feel makes you feel guilty because, ultimately you're just trying to help yourself, your baby and your family but its not working.
So....
I would do one of two things now.
1. Have a break and totally forget the NCSS plan for a week, and then re-think it (and we'll help you).
or
2. Be creative and try and be flexible. Sometimes when DD won't settle, I just say to her. "Oh you don't want to sleep, okay then you have to sit quietly with me while I do this..." and then hold her while she squirms and cries a bit until she settles. Then 9 times out of ten she will let me put her down. Also, the more DD is put in her cot, the more she will get used to it being her sleep place...so rock her until she's dead asleep if you need, but at least when she wakes up, she sees its in the same place every time.
Good luck hun. HTH
Last edited by Arcadia; September 14th, 2009 at 10:00 AM.
hi heaven, when you put her down in the day, where do you put her? do you have a swing or bouncer or something to give you a break?
big hugs honey, jimmy is sleeping absolutely shockingly atm too. i swear sometimes he'll only sleep with my nipple in his mouth!
6-7.5 months was absolute hell for us.
DH and I were both up and down AAALLLL night long - we tried and tried and tried to keep our sleep plan going. After about 6 weeks I gave up.
And then everything got better.
If it's not working, then it's time to stop. Give yourselves a break and regroup. Switch to survival mode. Do whatever helps.
You are right - you can't go on like this. So don't.
Tell us exactly what's going on right now and maybe someone will have a bright idea that can help you.
Heaven - you are so not alone. Do whatever you can to get you through and keep you as happy as possible. I have not been able to implement any sleep plan exactly with either girl - it has been a jumble of lots of different things. I found some tips on the QEC website - they are a sleep school in Melb that have some simple and gentle ideas (I have only listened to the baby ones) which are helpful - I am currently in #2's room shushing in the dark as teething has thrown her off course this week. xxx
Heaven, you are definitely not alone!!! Hun, it might be time to take a break, like the others have said, and just do whatever it takes to get her to sleep easily. It doesn't mean you can't revisit your sleep plan - but the more you fight it, the harder it is. I truly understand how frustrated you are right now, honestly . The one thing I regret is that I fought DS's sleep so much, and tried to change him. In hindsight, it wasn't going to work, he changed when he was ready. I wasted a hell of a lot of time and energy trying to get him to sleep better, longer. By 10 months I had pretty much given up, and just went with what worked (give or take a couple of days, up to when he was 13 months, and then I really and truly gave up!!!). I can tell you, I got a lot more sleep myself at that point . Co sleeping was our saviour, although I understand it's not for everyone. I certainly didn't think it was for me until DS was 8 months and I was beside myself with tiredness. And even then, I still persisted with trying to get him back into his cot for another couple of months.
Give yourself a rest hun, even if it's just for a week. Do whatever it to get DD and yourself some more sleep, in a less stressful way
Kristy- Thanks. That's what I needed to hear. That hopefully it will just magically get better some day, LOL. Because nothing I do is helping. Although DD has never self settled so it's never going to get that good! But even if she woke only 2 times a night for a feed I could handle that! Anna- Thanks for your suggestions. We've decided now that we will do that like you said in the day, rock her to fully asleep and put her down so she at least wakes up there every time. That's the only way to do it during the day. But I won't go back to using the HAB, at least I've got out of that habit. Ginger- No, I don't have a swing or anything. I have a rocker but she wouldn't sleep in it. I've tried putting her in the pram when she's asleep and rocking that to give my arms a break but not even that is good enough!! She still wakes up. So it's not just the rocking, it's being with me or DH too I guess. Don't know how to fix it! Mak- Thankyou, I will check out that site! janie- Thankyou, we're going to take a break. It's just making us angry and frustrated bc it's not working! And I don't want to be angry at her, I love her. Right now she is on my lap with her head on my hand while I type, pmsl, like 'see mummy, I'm so cute during the day!!' LOL. Cosleeping works well and I get more sleep actually but only if DH isn't in the bed. Otherwise she takes up heaps of room!! Then I can't sleep coz I'm all cramped. And I want to sleep with DH! I don't want him kicked out. I'm also scared that if I start cosleeping all the time she will get used to it and it will be even harder trying to get her in her cot!! marcellus- Thankyou. I have noticed DD is more clingy in the last week too like you said. It has started! So that's probably contributing too. She wants to be held all the time. Every time I look at her she whinges bc she wants me to pick her up. She's started reaching out her hands for me to pick her up now. She also wants me to spend all day helping her stand lol. Ok, what exactly is going on...
During the day...
She has to be rocked to sleep. Which means wrapping her up and bouncing on the fitball. Seems to need pretty vigorous bouncing!! DH and I thought the other day well maybe if we just don't use the fitball and don't bounce as much we can cut it down slowly how much we rock her. So we tried for the day not to bounce her much but more just walk around and rock gently. Well, she stayed up for EIGHT HOURS!!!! Unbelievable. She was so tired. On the plus side, she then slept for 2.5hrs in her cot. But she was totally buggered. So, that shows how stubborn she is and how much she depends on rocking! But she's getting too big for it so it has to change. Was going to get a rocking chair but they're pretty expensive and I'm scared it might not work anyway bc it's probably too gentle of a rock!
Sometimes she will feed to sleep if she's really tired.
Anyway, more often than not when we try and put her down she wakes up, unless she's really tired. Although yesterday she had 2 sleeps of 45mins each in her cot so maybe we're making some progress, who knows.
During the night...
We start with the routine: dinner, naked time, bath, book, booby, bed. Sometimes she falls asleep at the feed and sometimes we have to rock her. Sometimes she can be put straight in bed when she's asleep, sometimes she wakes up 5 times when you try!! Then she wakes up after about an hr. Pick her up and she's pretty much asleep straight away and put her back down. Wakes again after 2 hrs, I usually feed her. Wakes again after 2 hrs and we try and rock her back to sleep. Depending how hard it is to put her down I might give up and feed her to sleep. Sleeps for another 1.5-2hrs, same thing happens. And this goes on until 5.30 and she won't go back to sleep after that.
Isn't all this broken sleep bad for her too??
Thankyou everyone for all your support. Your posts made me cry. Really needed to read them
awww hun i havent read all the previous posts but have you tried to introduce a new sleep association?? im trying to get millie weaned of the wrap so i intriduced a blankie, i wrap her with one arm out with the blankie tucked in the wrap so she can pull it out, seems to be working better than i thought!! just trying to get her to associate sleep with something other than been wrapped.
Ah - the fit ball! I remember that! DS used to love it too.
OK - you know what, it sounds like you really have made some good progress. This is a phase. It WILL pass. Getting upset and frustrated will make it last longer. I know cause I too have been there.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I had a revelation at around 7.5 months when DS suddenly started sleeping better. I had just given up on trying to get him to sleep in his cot and was sleeping with him on a mattress on the floor. After a few nights he was happy to sleep there alone. I realised - I had been so busy trying to do what I thought I should; trying to avoid 'causing problems' by not having him sleep in the cot, that I wasn't listening to him at all. All this time he was trying to tell me: Mummy! This isn't working for me!
When you hit a rough patch I reckon the best thing to do is whatever helps you to ride it out with the minimum of stress. If co-sleeping with your DH elsewhere is what works best right now, then, seriously, I suggest you do that. When she settles down again and you're all calmer and rested, then you can try to change things again.
They seem to survive just fine on broken sleep . Can't say the same for mum & dad of course.
Well I have to write this down so I remember that there are good days, LOL.
Today DH is back at work after a wk off. And I have given her 3 sleeps!! Without even using the fitball. The first sleep was only 30mins when she fell asleep feeding and I was too scared to move her, LOL. The second sleep she went to sleep in 4 mins and then I put her in her cot and she slept in there for 45 mins. She has just gone to sleep again and has been in her cot for 20mins now!
DH has been doing a lot of the sleeps when he's been off to give me a break. Maybe she just needs a mummy's touch, pmsl. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
Can't believe I have had my hands free twice today, don't know what to do, it's very strange.
ETA- omg she ended up sleeping in her cot for 1hr!!!!!!!!!! Record!! Woke up screaming and is now back to sleep in my arms. Won't push my luck and will hold her til she wakes up so she gets some good sleep.
Last edited by Heaven; September 14th, 2009 at 04:04 PM.
Ok just have to share again! I'm still going good during the day!! Have put her down for all of her day sleeps since Monday! I just have to rock her to sleep and then I can put her down 5mins later. BIG improvement. Nights are still crappy but at least I can put her down in the day now!
What if she thinks I don't love her?? I just needed a break though, it was too much 
Reply With QuoteIt is so very hard. DD has been a shocker for the past week - screaming as soon as she is put into the cot even though she is sound asleep, not settling, not sleeping well. All pear shaped. But it will get better (I have to think that or lose the plot
) She had one nap today
and her eyes were hanging out of her head. But would she sleep ..... Noooooooo!!!!!!!!
. Co sleeping was our saviour, although I understand it's not for everyone. I certainly didn't think it was for me until DS was 8 months and I was beside myself with tiredness. And even then, I still persisted with trying to get him back into his cot for another couple of months. 
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