Please help me beat sleep school

[kelebek]

I can only offer my understanding. DS was very similar, he would catnap and the only way I ever got him to have a decent sleep was if I slept with him which, as you mentioned, isn't an option for you. He was so heavy by this age and stopped feeding to sleep that I had to rock him which would still involve lot's of crying.

At 11 months I went to sleep school. You are right, often they say they don't CC but that is because they practice comfort crying (I'm sure you google it you will find the techniques).

wish I had the magic cure but he still wakes once or twice at nearly 4 yrs old.

[LuluHB]

Hugs lovely. Like kelebek, all I can do is offer understanding and support. DD2 was a shocking sleeper and with DD1 still tiny I had to just let her survive on cat naps or sleeping on me because I just couldn't devote the hour + I needed each and every time she needed a sleep during the day. Up until 5 months when I stopped breastfeeding she would feed for up to 45 minutes a feed, with maybe only 30 minutes between feeds so the only way I could survive was to co-sleep with her. As soon as she woke I could throw her on the boob and try to hopefully snooze off again while she was feeding. Not ideal, but it gave me a little sleep at night so I was better equipped to battle the days. I did try on a couple of occasions to let her cry it out - purely because I felt so torn between either abandoning one of my daughters or the other - but the only thing that achieved was that we were all hysterical.

Your plan sounds like a lovely, gentle way to try and get him to sleep to me, but if he's not responding to it anymore then I'm not sure what to suggest. Normally I would say can you put him in a sling or carrier, but given his weight that might be out of the question for you for any real length of time.

Sorry your CHN is being very unhelpful. I really don't understand how there seem to be so many in the community who are so completely unsupportive of mums.

[Arcadia]

You need a two pronged plan: firstly to prioritize your sleep and secondly to get ds in a better pattern.

So for your sleep, can you make Dh get up with the kids in the morning so you have an hour to sleep, or have a weekend catch up? Does dd go to any child care so you can sleep with the baby?

For ds, I think your plan sounds great. Perhaps he is sick or teething so needs extra comfort just this week? I would keep trying to just lie down with him, and see how you get on.

I know what you mean about leaving older child. Ds now mainly naps in the pram because I can't leave dd for too long unattended. Is that an option? I know lots of kids who only sleep in the pram in the day. One mum I know would just strap bub in and he'd nod off before she'd left the house because it was such a strong sleep cue.

Teaching babies to solo sleep can be tough for both mum and baby...you're building a beautiful relationship with your son by attending to his needs, but you need to look after you too. That's why I think you could address your sleep as the first priority before trying to 'fix' the baby.

Big

[onthefly]

Will he sleep in a sling? That's one way to help him and see to your DD at the same time. Or the pram?
I know lots of people - that nurse included - will disagree with me, but I don't think you can teach a baby to sleep alone. You can help them along if they're ready for it, but if not you're left with either finding a way to get by in the mean time or forcing them.

What help do you have to call on? Can you get day care or babysitter to help with DD? A cleaner to keep the pressure off you at home? Do you get sleep on the weekends at least?
I really do wish I could guarantee you some sleep some how

[wysiwyg]

The woman from QEC sounds ridiculous

No help on the day sleeps here, we are managing on two now one in morning, in car/stroller when out and about and one in the arvo when all three of us sleep together.

The only thing I can suggest which works at night for us is bum jiggling, so I kneel next to the bed with my hand under his bum and just jiggle and shush - this means I am not on the bed with him but doesn't hurt my back at all and is reasonably comfortable, he gets a some movement but doesn't require me rocking or holding him. This seems to work pretty well as I can feel him relax and when he does seems like as long as I don't stop everything at once, so I remove my hand and then keep shushing a bit and then disappear. This also works ok on him in the cot as I can fit my arm through the bars, so he will often resettle just with having my hand under his bum and a quick jiggle.

Having said all that I haven't managed to get him to sleep tonight yet!

Some people have said that sleep school can just work as a 'reset' for just you and the baby so because they make sure you get some sleep the first night it breaks the cycle and then things improve anyway without really having to follow alot of the methods they use. I think also in another thread someone talked about getting someone to come to your house to help with the sleep, I have no personal experience but maybe they would be happy to work more with your parenting style than a sleep school and you wouldn't be away from DD, and if you get something working in your own home is probably a good thing too.

The only other thing I was going to say is, is there any possibility that he has any other intolerances apart from the dairy? I just always remember someone saying that sometimes babies eat more/want to suck more when their stomach is hurting because they think it will help but actually just makes things worse.

[willow5]

What worked for us, after 2 years of waking at least every 2 hours at night and crap day sleeps. Was eliminating food additives from mine and DSs diets. He now only wakes once at night maybe twice but is so much easier to get back to sleep. So much better than between 6 and 12 wakes each night! Only needs a feed on one wake up and will usually find me and just needs to know I'm there (we co-sleep) and he goes off to sleep on his own.

I hope you find something that works for you soon. The sleep deprivation nearly killed me, I really know how you feel

[shan23]

What worked for us, after 2 years of waking at least every 2 hours at night and crap day sleeps. Was eliminating food additives from mine and DSs diets. He now only wakes once at night maybe twice but is so much easier to get back to sleep. So much better than between 6 and 12 wakes each night! Only needs a feed on one wake up and will usually find me and just needs to know I'm there (we co-sleep) and he goes off to sleep on his own.

I hope you find something that works for you soon. The sleep deprivation nearly killed me, I really know how you feel

Sorry to hijack, but I have to ask, how long did it take to see results? I've started the same thing with my DS a couple of weeks ago, but this last week I've been bad with my diet so I need to restart it all.

OP, I so feel for you. I have no advice, just plenty of hugs because my 12month old DS is also super wakeful at night. He has woken every 1-2 hours for six months, and in the last couple of weeks his day sleeps have been catnaps and i cant resettle him.
your definitely not alone, I hope you find something that works soon!

[willow5]

Hi Shan23, It took about 2 weeks but kept improving there after. I first only eliminated from DSs diet and saw some improvement, but when I eliminated my diet too it was like magic!

Here are the links to the 2 other threads we were talking about it if you want to have a read. You can post in there too to avoid the hijack I PMed a couple of the other posters in there a link to a site I found helpful if you'd like it too just PM me

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...-sleep-175659/

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...enough-175516/