Screaming baby

[Artechim]

My 2 week old DS won't sleep. It has become increasing worse over the last few days to the point where he has a feed, put to bed then wakes 10 minutes later wanting another feed. The midwife today told me to stretch feeds out to 3 hours between, but it is next to impossible when he has only been asleep for 10 minutes - that leaves a whole three hours with a screaming baby. We have been walking him around, tried patting his tummy in the cot but nothing works for long and now he is very upset. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful as I have no idea what to do.

Thanks

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Feed him and co-sleep - that's what worked for us. Sounds like he just wants Mummy.

It is never too early to start a bedtime routine - bath, story, bed is fine and very soon these will help him anticipate bedtime.

IMO 3-hourly feeds this early are detrimental to breastfeeding. Babies need demand feeding. My DS only goes back to sleep with patting now and that's on his tummy... not that I'd suggest trying tummy sleeping just yet! 2 week olds don't sleep; they need to learn how and routines and co-sleeping help a lot here.

[Jayney]

I know how you feel DD#2 was like that when she was little as well. The good news she did get better once I put her in a swing she slept like and angel for 5 hours! Bad news I didn't have a swing until she was 7 weeks old. Oh the sleep I could have had.

As for the 3 hour feeds. What a pipe dream! Both my girls never went anywhere close to that. Even at 6 months during the day is was every two hours. They want to eat when they want to eat. Breastfeed when you think they are hungry.

I did have a friend whose baby fed every 3 hours like clockwork but it was the baby who chose that!

[Lukesmum]

IMO 3-hourly feeds this early are detrimental to breastfeeding. Babies need demand feeding

I can't agree with you more Ryn. In the first weeks IMO it is important to demand feed to increase milk supply and feed baby adequately. I still demand feed at almost 6 months but of course that is only about 3 to 4 times now during the day.

I am a strong believer of "If an infant is hungry, feed them". I know of someone who made there baby wait 4 hourly and to the minute because the midwife told her to. It used to break my heart seeing the poor baby scream and scream waiting for that clock to tick. She didnt last more than a week breastfeeding because her milk supply didnt increase.

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby when he is hungry.

[Lulu]

2 weeks is just so little, they are still adjusting to the loss of the quiet dark and room service. Of course all baby wants is you!
Oh mummy, no one makes them feel so good as mummy. It can be hard with all the screaming, make sure all burps are up too.
I would stretch out the feeds if you can if this still keeps up over the coming weeks - you can get into a feed, colic, scream, suck to relieve the tummy pain cycle. 3 hours is a bit much, maybe 2 hrs would be better for you?

It takes a while for things to fall into place.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

Who knew before you had the baby that when people said "I was up all night with the baby" they were REALLY "UP ALL night witht he baby"? It is so confusing and tiring.
It's good to have some idea of newborn patterns - it's easier to empathise with them if you have a bit of an understanding of how they work
Babies are born expecting mum to be their whole environment. Food, comfort, warmth, company. A baby needs his mother. And so they come well armed with ways of keeping her close. Her breathing helps regulates the baby's breathing. Her heartbeat regulate the baby's heartbeat. Babies have no circadian rhythm - our ideas of day and night mean nothing to them. They need to feed 8-12 times per day. When we hear that, our adult minds do a quick calculation - every 2-3 hours. But babies don't work like that. A more normal sleep pattern is that in a 24 hr period they have one "long sleep" - 3 hrs is probably as good as it gets- and another time of the day where they seem very unsettled and want a cluster of feeds close together. This is normal.
Baby's dries are at just the right pitch to cut right through a mother - listening to your baby's cry is excruciating. It is meant to be. You are meant to go to them and help them, feed them, comfort them. So, if he needs another feed, feed him. If he needs a cuddle, cuddle him. If you are tried (and don't take drugs, alcohol or smoke) take him to bed with you. Many people see a little feed 10 mins later more as a "top-up" than another separate feed, and often after this, baby will settle down for a longer sleep.
Can you tell me, how did your baby's birth go? What was his birthweight? Is he back to his birthweight yet?
Have you got help and support? The first 6 weeks or so with a new baby are very tough going as you establish breastfeeding, work out your babies signals and you and your baby gett o know each other. You need to gather all the resources you have at your disposal.
Warm Regards
Barb

[Lucy]

The girls have all given great suggestions.

My advice would be feed, then hold you DS upright for as long as you can. Do you have a sling of any kind? Product Reviews - Baby Slings & Carriers

If he has fed well, got all of the wind up, he may then drop off in the sling for a long sleep, against you?

Then hopefully you and he can get into a groove, rather than a spiraling cycle of over-tiredness?

The other thing, and I know how hard this can be, is to really try & make sure you are relaxed. They seem to pick up on our stress SO quickly, that if you are really tense about his crying, that will make him worse? I know it probably feels impossible to relax when you have your beautiful baby unhappy, but just breath really deep breaths, knowing that this too will pass, and better for him to be in your arms as he grows used to the world than anywhere else.......

Good luck, it is such a special time, but so hard.

[krisp]

Yes, I agree with the idea of a sling, my DS just loved his. It was about the only thing that would comfort him and get him off to sleep in the first few weeks.

[Jo Jo]

My DD was the same due to colic & reflux. I found holding her upright for a while after a feed helped & taking her for a walk in the pram( the bumping motion over the road helped to settle her). I have heard the hug-a-bub sling/carrier is really good when bub is unsettled. I demand feed also which is generally every 2hrs during the day. I think it was worse when my DD could sense i was stressed so having a warm deep bath with her helped to relax both of us.
Goodluck. xxx

[AnyDream]

Arte - I just wanted to pop in and give you a big (((HUG)))! My DD has been unsettled these last couple of days as well - I'm pretty sure in our case she is windy and uncomfortable - so we've unpacked our slings today in preparation for her next unsettled period - they settle so much better when they are carried upright. Try to get someone else (DH) to have the baby for a while each day so you can take a bath, go outside, have a rest, whatever - just to give yourself a little time out.

BTW I think 3hrs between feeds is unrealistic at this stage - your baby will tell you when he wants feeding and you will soon learn when it's hunger and when it's comfort and both are good reasons for feeding. And remember - no matter how bad it is - it won't last forever, you will turn a corner and it will get easier!!

[Patooties]

Hi arte
There have been quite alot of nights when Hannah has been like this as well. To see whether she is hungry or has a pain, i just put my finger in her mouth. If she continues crying i know that she is in some kind of pain. If she starts sucking on my finger - i give her another feed.

[Artechim]

Thank you for all the suggestions. In the end I couldn't leave him to cry so I gave him a feed. He went straight to sleep after and has been sleeping 2.5 to 4 hours at a time since. I don't know why he was so upset. Now he is back to his happy little self.

Barb Glare, the birth was long (18 hours), he was in distress and I had an epidural which stalled labor. He was born 8lb and is now above his birth weight.

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate the help and support on this site as we don't have any family here and none of our friends have kids. It is really hard when we have little problems like this and the midwife tells us something that doesn't sound right but we don't know what else to do.