Sleep challenge

[CrystalBoo]

Ok, so what do you do with a 10m old who has always fallen asleep on the breast and now is beginning the 'when you put me down I'll wake up again' business. She refuses (strongly) patting, rocking, stroking, lying down beside, dummies and cuddles when she's going off to sleep (though is frustratingly happy with all these things when in play mode) I have read No Cry Sleep Solution and have been doing the pull-off for at least 2 months without any suggestion that she might be weaning off the feed to sleep. Frustration levels are rising quickly here... Any ideas?

[MantaRay]

Sacha, that's a tough one! The only things I can think of right now are calming music, and a comforter. My youngest needs to suck his thumb, and hold his sheet up to his cheek to be able to settle (not just for sleep either, he does it everytime he gets upset - if not a sheet it can be any item of clothing). Have you tried a dummy?

[CrystalBoo]

Yes, it is a toughie that's for sure. I have tried since birth to get a dummy into her but she will only take one to suck on as toy while playing -smacks it away if i try at bedtime. She has had the same rain sounds and elephant cuddly since birth but is not happy to just cuddle it (or me) to sleep. Thanks for trying anyway.

[Arimeh]

I don't know if this will be particularly helpful or not, but we have been trying to stop patting our DS to sleep at night, without letting him scream his lungs out of course, so this is what I currently do - which works for us.

I just put him in his cot, and sit down beside the cot. He has his dummy and favourite wrap over him - all which are cues for him that it is bedtime, much like what you have with the music and toy for yours. Then I just stick my hand in the cot, and either just lay my hand on his back, or if I can't reach (arms are too fat.. hehe) then I just sorta hold his hand.

Then I just relax... I figure if I'm relaxed, he will relax too... and I listen to his music in the room.. and just breathe nice and even.... almost meditation really... I just figure that if the vibes he is getting off me are nice and relaxing and I'm not stressing or getting frustrated bout getting him to sleep, he will be more likely to pick up on sleepy relaxing vibes instead!!! Well thats the theory anyway!! haha!!!

Seems to be working. After he has gone to sleep, I escape to the real world. I must say, I really don't mind doing this because its nice to wind down at the end of the day for me too...

Hope this helps!! Its very difficult finding something that works for your bub...

[MantaRay]

Sacha, what happens when you try patting? Does she struggle to get up and scream? What happens if you persist with it for a few minutes? I'm asking because I know sometimes my DS has to scream for a minute or so before he can calm down - he will self-settle and be fine, usually he even wants to sleep and is only screaming because I've kept him up by changing his nappy or something instead of putting him straight down. It's not the same I know, as he know longer wants bb before bed, but I'm wondering if she just might need to scream for a minute, either with you patting her, or not. And if you just left her (not for long of course) would she settle straight down?

[CrystalBoo]

I have tried both of those things, but maybe I need to be more persistant. She really works herself up to almost vomiting very quickly if i hold her down in the cot in any way and if I sit beside the cot, she may spend up to an hour getting up and down, playing, talking etc before starting the full on scream when I don't give in and talk to her or get her up. I am thinking I might do an in-arms hold and see how long I can put up with the screaming, back arching etc. Maybe it's just a case of seeing who gives in first though I don't like her to get worked up, it might be the only sanity saver I have and at least I won't be leaving her to cry on her own. Thanks heaps for your ideas, I will try a modified version of both with a hold tight rock while I drift to my 'special place' LOL