Still having problems - more advice/support please

[Sammiejane]

Hi again,

MJ has been having sleeping issues from about 6months (prior to that was sleeping 8pm-8am approx)

i have now managed to stop the night feeds that were started again around 7 months (1-2 overnight) and she will pat to sleep if she wakes in the night (although it can take anywhere from 5 seconds to 1 hour to get her to drop off)

BUT when she goes down for the sleep she really fights it.

i feed her dinner at around 5pm, then we have a play and then a bath.
After bathtime we move into her room and she has a play, then a feed the she plays while i read stories... by this time if the door to her room is open she will have gone out and if its closed she will have tried to open it and had a grizzle.

then we go to the bathroom, sit on the potty (we are ECing) wash hands, brush teeth then back to her room, then we change her naapy and get in her sleep suit.
Next we close the blinds, she knows at this stage and is getting grumpy.

Now we will move over to the cot and say good night to all the toys, one by one i get one out of the cot, we cuddle it and say night night and then it goes back in the cot. Lastly i cuddle MJ, say night night and she goes in the cot.
Sometimes she will go in fine and sit there and play other times it is all over straight away...

Now this is the hardest point... no matter if i pick her up or leave her in the cot and pat her, she will cry and grizzle until she is asleep. She will also arch her back to get out of my arms and stuggle and for this reason i have switched to the patting as although it take significantly longer, i am not worried about her hurting herself... It breaks my heart, why does she hate her cot so much?

The second that she wakes again she is crying - not whingy cry, standing up crying with real tears, its so hard to deal with and now i am starting to dread bedtimes as i know that she will cry no matter what i do

Sorry that this is a long post, but i wanted to say what we were doing so that maybe there are other ideas.
I am feeling like i cant cope with it anymore... and DH works until 9 or 11pm so he cant help me, so im doing it all alone and cant hand her to anyone for help

Thanks

[onthefly]

SJ - you're having such a rough time! And it must be so hard doing it alone. Is there noone who can help at all?
I would hazard a guess that she either objects to being confined in a cot or that she objects to being away from you...You know, MJ will get over this. And she'll be better off for all the time you've spent helping her. That said, you do need to find a way that this can work for you too in the meantime.... I don't think I have any practical advice for you though, sorry.
My DS is the same. I've made peace with this though. How? I gave up. If he doesn't want to sleep in his cot, then he doesn't. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor, which he shares with me during the night (or at least part of it). He's happy there. At night, he'll go to sleep there on his own (unless his gums are hurting him, which is a lot lately, unfortunately). He just rolls around happily, chatting away, till he runs out of steam. He can't do that in the cot - he bumps the sides and gets upset. And he associates the mattress with me, which makes him happy I think (even when I'm not there).
This may not even be an option for you, but that's how I've dealt with it
Hugs

[sneakysparkle]

sorry youre having a hard time atm - I dont have any advice but I just wanted to encourage you - MJ is so lucky to have such a warm, gentle & caring mummy - you are doing a great job
hang in there!

[Miss J]

My DS used to be a real sleep fighter too. If DH was home he would hold him and bounce up and down (sort of mini squats) until he fell asleep - quite a work out! When DH wasn't home (which is quite often as he's a shiftworker) I found different things worked for me at different times. Sometimes he would fall asleep while I pushed him in his swing and then I transferred him to the cot. Otherwise I would put him on my back in our Ergo (baby carrier) and walk back and forth around the house until he fell asleep then transfer him to the cot. I think the key for us was that he needed movement.

Have hope though - we can now put him down in his cot, leave the room and he just goes off to sleep on his own. It does all pay off eventually!

[Sammiejane]

Thanks guys,

Marcellus - do you go to bed at the same time as your DS? what time does he go down?
MJ goes to bed between 7 and 7.30pm - when she was a baby she always had a feed then put herself to sleep at 8.30 - we continued this for ages and then she started going down earlier and earlier... i dont think i could go to bed at 7!!! (although some days i probably could!)

Miss J - how did you progress to that - did one day it jsut happen or a slow progression? will i be doing this for months and months? (its been 5 already)

[jackrose]

Hi SJ,
when I read your post my heart went out to you, I so clearly remember the trauma I went through with my DD in a similar way between the ages of 6 and 10 months.

You have some really good advice from some of the ladies here, perhaps trying something completely different may work for your DD, she could be one of those 'exceptions to the rules' IYKWIM!!

I don't have any practical advice from my experience really, what worked for me was sleep school, however I think from what I read of your post, my experience was just different enough to not really work for you... however, I did notice this thread and thought of you. Maybe some of these ideas might do the trick??

All the best, I really really hope you find a solution soon. It is a really challenging time to have trouble with sleep at 11 months... I remember only to well.