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Thread: We don't agree!

  1. #1

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    Default We don't agree!

    Hi,
    I have been co-sleeping since DS was born,it was not something I had planned to do....it just happened and DS and I love it.
    Problem is that DH is starting to really push for him to be moved into the cot.It is not something I feel comfortable doing but he is really worried he will sleep in our bed until he is 10 if we don't get him out now.
    How can I make him understand how important it is to me.I love that he is right there with me,that I can just roll over to feed him,and when that when he wakes during the night he doesn't cry because he knows that I am there.I love co-sleeping!!
    The thought of having to move him out of the bed nearly sends me into a panic attack!
    Has anyone had this problem?If so what did you do?


  2. #2

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    mate. I've been there too.

    Have you tried telling him exactly what you just wrote?

  3. #3

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    Hi lauab,

    Fortunately or unfortunately I haven't been in your situation, you see, if DD & I were happy co-sleeping then my DP would be fine with it, he is a 'whatever you think is best' kinda guy lol, but unfortunately, as much as I would have loved it, DD hates sleeping with us!! She was okay with it when she was new, but no more. Anyway, I digress.

    I can only assume you've already told your DH how you feel so I'm not sure what else you can do. What about telling him to sleep on the couch if he doesn't like sleeping with both of you lol. Just kidding - I think you just have to state the reasons why co-sleeping is working for you & why you'd be uncomfortable moving your DS out at this time. I know there are some very positive stats about co-sleeping around & hopefully somebody here will be able to fill you in on those, maybe you can tell him that it has been proven that bubs sleeping in their parents room are less at risk of dying of SIDS in the first 6 months? At the very least that should buy you some more time to strengthen your continuing co-sleeping argument!

    Good luck & happy sleeping!

  4. #4

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    Hi Laurab,

    Its a really hard thing to try to get your husband to understand how important it is for you and bubs when it comes to co sleeping! We co sleep but DH is out of the bed by midnight to start work, so thats good for DS and i but when Ds wants to come in earlier we usedto have abit of a problem!
    I explained to Dh how important it is for me and that i get a lot more sleep when we co sleep! Dh was sleeping on a mattress in our room for a while but know he just sleeps with us! He really enjoys it now!

    If you can try to make him understand how it important it is for you maybe he will start to enjoy it more?

    I dont know if i am making sense but hopefully it helped?

  5. #5

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    My favourite line is when he says to me "but I don't sleep as well when he's in out bed, because I'm worried I will squash him" - says he that doesn't wake up to his cries when he is on our bed. As opposed to DS ebing in the cot and I make DP get up in the cold and get him AND put him back to bed, because he's the one that doesn't want me to cosleep. So I get to stay warm and snug!

    Can you simply put the cut in your bedroom? It's not as easy, but it makes my DP happy. It's still classified as co-sleeping, it still means you don't have to get out of bed, and it's still some form of independence for your baby - so an easier transfer down the line.

    I think part of the problem is that guys aren't cuddly creatures so they can't comprehend the "babies just want to be near their mummies" thing. And yet when DS is in the cot in his bedroom he wakes every three hours, and if he sleep with me, he sleeps most of the night.

    Ahh, men, what can you do

  6. #6

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    I love co-sleeping and would still do it - if only little wiggle-bottom didn't push the two of us out of bed and sleep worse. We co-slept until DS was 10m old, he wanted his own bed by then and refused to sleep with me.

    He has to be SUPER scared or SUPER ill to co-sleep now. Even then he doesn't really want to go to sleep but he will, given time. (And we only do it because I'm tired and cold and DH won't get out of bed so blow it I'll get into DS's, like last night.) He is so much happier when he wakes up after co-sleeping.

    Get your DH to get up to fetch the baby each time he wakes. That works well. My DH slept on a camp-bed in another room for a while when he "needed" sleep (I didn't, apparently). Not ideal but it does work.

  7. #7

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    I sleep with both my boys! I love it!
    Zak is almost 4 and xander will be 2 at the end of the year.
    I couldnt bare to have them in another room at night so we brought a king size bed so we could all fit!
    I love being so close to them. They are such loving kids.
    I wouldnt have it any other way!

  8. #8

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    You poor thing Laurab. Have you had a chat with DP yet? Perhaps you could talk about it and reach a compromise?

    Have you thought about when YOU would ideally like to have your son move to his own bed? haha maybe never, they are pretty cuddly! But if you were thinking maybe around one for instance, perhaps you could say that you'll revisit the situation at 6 months, making no promises either way IYKWIM?

    At any rate, good luck!

  9. #9

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    Hi Laura.
    Does he have his day time sleeps in the cot? Maybe you could compromise a little and have him go to sleep in the cot at whatever time you put him down for the night (our time tends to be about 9ish) and when he wakes up bring him to your bed for the rest of the night. That is what I do occasionally, so much easier than getting out of bed again!!
    Are you worried about SIDS if he is not sleeping with you? You could get one of those monitors that has the motion sensor thing too. They are a little dear but you can't put a price on peace of mind.
    I HTH a little It's never easy when we disagree with our DH

  10. #10

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    Thanks for all you ideas guys
    Last night I had a chat to DH about how I was feeling and he agreed to let me move the cot into the bedroom for now.Little does he know I plan on taking off one of the sides and pushing it right up next to the bed so he can be right next to me!It took some convincing but I got want I want.He says only for a month or two...i'll tackle that hurdle when I get to it.
    I love my little man and I just can't bare the thought of him waking up scared and insecure because I'm not there.

  11. #11

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    OMG have a look at those chops! No wonder you wont let him go....what a cutie!

    The cot by the bed is a great idea, tell DH that when babies are secure they go to sleep better, cos its true.

  12. #12

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    Glad you got what you wanted! We're going to take the side off too. It makes things a lot easier, and all three of you really will sleep better! And I agree with Lulu, he is SUCH a cutie, can't wait to meet you guys in person!

  13. #13

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    Yay! Good on you for really working for what you want, congratulations!!

  14. #14

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    I have had the side off the cot, and cot pushed up next to my bed since Eva was born, and it works for us really well. The ease of comforting and feeding is really good for us both, and we both sleep better for it.

    Goodluck, I hope it continues to work out well. And enjoy your sleep and cuddling up next to your gorgeous little man!

  15. #15

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    Thank you again everyone.
    I now have the Cot in the room without the side.
    When DH came home and saw it pushed up against the bed he just rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.
    All going well so far.

  16. #16

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    so glad you came to a comprimise, well kinda! I hope your lil man sleeps well! And as the girls said is is a super cutie! xx

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