Oh der sorry Fi I didn't read your post properly...

As Shannon says, this is probably a fussy phase and not something to do with wrapping you around her finger. We always tend to doubt what we are doing and the choices we make as parents when we have these harder stages. But you could try moving her cot in another room, I have heard that work for some, or perhaps you could let Shane sleep with her until she gets through it? I always start with Elijah in the cot and when he's not able to be settled he comes in with us.