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Thread: Are we sending mixed messages?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
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    Default Are we sending mixed messages?

    Jenna will usually sleep really well in her cot - well maybe have a couple of wakeups a night, but usually a cuddle and her dummy will send her back off to sleep.
    Lately when she has been sleeping badly (waking every hour) Shane has just been taking her to the other bed, and they sleep together there. Specially since I am having so much trouble with tiredness at the mo.

    Same thing during the day - shane will often cuddle her and have a kip together either in bed or on the couch. They both love it.

    What I'm wondering is how old before this sends a really inconsistent message to her about sleep, and that she should be sleeping by herself really. She always sleeps with us after the morning (4:30-5:30am) feed until about 7am. Shes crawling up over the pillow atm and sleeping with her head over the pillow and her bum in the air. Sooo cute.



    So any advice would be great. I just sort of feel that the more we encourage it, the more she will think if she plays up, she gets cuddles in bed.

    Fi

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
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    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
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    Fi - if all are happy, what actually bothers you to keep doing it? Marisa would only get back to sleep with us when she woke in the night, huge sleeping issues with her but we gave into it and realised this was how it was if we were all happy and getting our sleep. As soon as she hit two she started sleeping through the night - a massive relief for a completely exhausted mum. A few months later, she started telling us when she was tired and wanted to go to bed. She still sleeps REALLY well to this day and to those who say co-sleepers never get kids out the bed, well I have that proven wrong. And who still sleeps with their parents anyway?! I know when I was a kid, I hated sleeping alone - it was scary and lonely.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
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    Oh der sorry Fi I didn't read your post properly...

    As Shannon says, this is probably a fussy phase and not something to do with wrapping you around her finger. We always tend to doubt what we are doing and the choices we make as parents when we have these harder stages. But you could try moving her cot in another room, I have heard that work for some, or perhaps you could let Shane sleep with her until she gets through it? I always start with Elijah in the cot and when he's not able to be settled he comes in with us.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    Montana, USA
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    I loved having my oldest sleep with us (that was because she would snuggle me and kick her mom out of bed ). But, that did not last. My little girl some times joins us but not very often. Being she is a girl she is VERY hot blooded. She thinks daddy is an infernal so she does not like snuggling as much. My guess is your little girl will follow suit at some point. And if this helps daddy and the little misses (who it sounds like already has her daddy wrapped around her finger) bond I say good. Since it sounds like this is not constant, I (being a guy though) would not worry too much. Besides, sounds like your DH is trying to help you out as well, something some guys dont do. He is letting you get some rest that you need and bonding with his little girl. Just take alot of pictures!

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