Where is her 12 Week *Magical* change??

**Liz** · April 26th, 2009, 11:11 PM

Nothing magical here at 3 months either. Ok.. i'm going to be really lazy here and copy a reply I just did in this thread: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...es-please.html Especially as I already lost my post once and had to re-compose it LOL. No mention of 3 months and maybe not 100% relevant, but hopefully some reassurance with dealing with a frequent waker, and feeding to sleep.

DS fed to sleep for probably close to 2 years. We had a natural transition of feeding to sleep, to feeding in bed and staying with him while he fell asleep, and then once he weaned at about 26 months just lying with him until he fell asleep. Then at about 2 1/2 I started trying to leave him awake in bed and went back in a lot praising him for staying in bed and not getting up. Not long after, he was putting himself to sleep and not long after that started sleeping through regularly. We had a similar transition type thing with the co-sleeping. When it felt right, we started putting him to sleep in his own bed and he was still welcome in ours when he woke up, and he eventually started sleeping through.

DD self settled for about 7 months with a dummy & wrap, then progressed to needing rocking to sleep LOL. And still does. I think we're getting ready to start just lying down with her too to get her to sleep.

My advice is to follow their lead, but at the same time guide them if that makes sense. So while DS's going to sleep by himself wasn't necessarily led by him, we both kinda knew it was time to start trying if that made sense. So be reassured that you won't be feeding to sleep forever, things change & progress naturally, with very little resistance in our experience. And I do believe DS is a real success story.. he seriously is SOOOO good at going to bed. He just goes to bed and goes to sleep! You hear of toddlers and older children that keep finding excuses and get up all the time.. nope.. not here! LOL. Not even when we have visitors with kids to play with! He just says goodnight to everyone and co-operates and goes to bed! Only time he fights us is when he's overtired and cranky anyway. But he still doesn't get up haha. I do believe it's my hard work paying off

I had people telling me I was making a rod for my back, but I don't believe our end result is a rod for anyone's back! Plus if you're happy to feed to sleep or do whatever you need to do, then it's no one's business how you do it.. it's not them doing it is it.

Oh and also.. while people were tutting at our 'bad habits' they couldn't help being impressed that I could get DS to sleep absolutely anywhere.. didn't matter who's house we were at or where we were, just had to feed him and within about 15mins he was off. haha.

Enjoy it It definitely won't last forever. Don't doubt yourself, you'll know when to move on to the next stage. You're doing a great job

I'll say again, don't doubt yourself. You're meeting the needs of YOUR baby, not someone elses. It is hard not to feel jealous of 'sleepers' but rest assured they will have sleepless/unsettled nights again somewhere along the line. hahaha.

I always tell myself I'm glad my babies never slept through and then regressed.. it's a bit like flying first class and then going back to economy! At least if I'm in economy the whole time I don't know the difference. I think it would be sooo much harder to go backwards.

Definitely keep doing whatever works for you, and try not to compare.. easier said than done, but keep reminding yourself of how well you're meeting your bub's needs

OK.. just re-read your post.. and you're feeling the sleep deprivation.. all i can suggest really is co-sleep. You can give a quick feed before she wakes up too much, you can do it lying down and then both drift back off to sleep. It is very tiring to actually get up and attend to bub and stay up trying to get them back to sleep. In the same bed, you can sort of fall into a sleeping rhythm with them and can do night feeds/settling half asleep. *hugs* hope you can catch up on a few zz's soon so you can keep going.

**Lulu** · April 27th, 2009, 08:39 AM

What magical changeover??? No one told me!

TBH, I think when bubs get to about 3/ 4 months old everyone is getting a little more used to a new baby in da house.

Any change is generally a little more slower to be apparent - the babies don't read the books but things like wonder weeks can be a great indication of what might come along next xoxoxoxo

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · April 27th, 2009, 08:47 AM

Wow thanks ladies! - who knows maybe in my sleep deprived state i read about 12 week magical change in my imagination??

Liz - DD does fall asleep (and i mean dead to the world asleep!) while feeding but as soon as i put her down she wakes up! - I have also tried co-sleeping with her and she then thinks its conversation time for her and mummy

sweetpea - I have a HAB carrier which on a good day DD will enjoy being in but then other days she screams as soon as i put her in

- I am going to see if i can maybe hire a hammock (no-one i know has one i could borrow) and see how that goes for her. - Does anyone know up to what weight the hammocks can be used cause DD is already 6.8kg (she's my buddah bubba

) so im hoping she won't be too heavy for it?

You are all right and i need to do what works for me and bub and stop worrying about what others *think* i'm doing right/wrong. - I think because the MCHN was one of the ppl who said "Oh you're going to have problems down the track if you keep rocking her to sleep - just put her in her bassinette and let he cry for a little bit, it doesn't do them any harm" i figured it is was coming from a health "professional" i must listen and try to change things....but i am going to keep going with what works for me and bubs and bugger anyone who tells me different - at the end of the day if i am "building a rod" then I'm the one who has to deal with it, not them

Thanks again for your advice and support , i knew BB ladies would be able to give me some suggestions/advice to try!

**Lulu** · April 27th, 2009, 08:54 AM

Thinking about it - you see the magical change in retrospect....

I remember going WOW, he slept for xxx hrs and he has been doing it all week! Sometimes you don't notice/trust the change when it is happening.

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · April 27th, 2009, 09:33 AM

Thanks Lulu - i think i will stop "looking" for it and just let bubs guide me

**sweetpea678** · April 27th, 2009, 09:37 AM

Ella-bear,

I used mine till she was 8 months old and 7.4kilos in the instructions it says to 15 kilos on the spring mine has then can get a heavy duty one. I have an amby hammock, shame you not near me could of lent mine to see if it worked.

**bubno.3** · April 27th, 2009, 10:26 AM

Hi

Wish i bought a hammock i think they look wondeful.

Im with the others please do what is best for you and bub.... if she needs your arms to sleep well so be it.... you know what i did when Ali was that little... he fall asleep i my arms and then wake in cot but if i kept my hand on him and just kept patting he would fall asleep once again then i could quietly walk away. Im talking 5 6 7 8 weeks of age.

Now Alistair is 9mths and he falls asleep with bottle in cot but if he doesnt want the milk he wont take the bottle...

I hope it gets better for you

Cheers bubno.3

**bubno.3** · April 27th, 2009, 10:34 AM

Try wrapping your little one again which way are you wrapping ??? Arms down the side of bub or wrapping in the way the arm are covered but there up near her face? This works so well as theyre secure but still move their arms and have their hand near their face yet the wrap stops the reflex startle.. Hey i still use this wrap style with my 9 mth old on the odd occassion when he is soooo tired but just cant settle.... it works nearly everytime.

You can find the wrapping styles on line thats where i found it but i havent the link sorry

i hope this helps

**Barb Glare** · April 29th, 2009, 06:10 AM

Hi, Ella_Bear,

You said "I have also tried co-sleeping with her and she then thinks its conversation time for her and mummy"

You know those first nights where you slept with a new adult person? You just wanted to talk all night? But it soon wears off - and you feel comfortable together, and just sleep. Same with babies. Co-sleeping is something worth persisting with. At the start it's so fabulous just being with mummy, but after that she's just so nice and warm and comfortable to snuggle down to sleep with

**Liz** · April 29th, 2009, 08:11 AM

3 months is usually an unsettled time regardless of what you're doing for sleep. So is 7/8 months. Often just riding it out and finding the thing that works best at the time is the way to go. We've fed to sleep, and yes there are times where it feels they're using the boob too much, but it passes.. it really does.. and there's usually a reason that they're feeding so much.. growth spurts (yes 12 weeks is a common time for a growth spurt), teething, warding off sickness... it's usually worth persisting with feeding.

co sleeping makes the frequent feeding much much easier.. you hardly wake up for it.

**lily'smum** · April 29th, 2009, 12:21 PM

The method i used really doesn't make the baby distressed. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it did, because listening to my bubba cry makes me feel physically ill! I guess you'll just have to trust me on that one as a lot is lost in my translation. It sounds very similar to what anna used and i found exactly the same thing, lily will settle with cheek to cheek and gentle whispering. Maybe Anna explained it better?
I would love to hear how you went Ella Bear

**Heaven** · April 29th, 2009, 01:26 PM

anna- when did you start doing that? I've tried to settle DD in her bassinette but she doesn't get it, lol. I've tried rocking, patting, singing, etc, but she just wants to be picked up. So I'm thinking maybe she's just too young yet and she can't go to sleep on her own, or without being held so I should stop trying and wait a bit. So just wondering when you started?

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · April 30th, 2009, 02:57 PM

Sorry have been MIA!

Well I am happy to say that things have improved dramatically and Lily's mum, it worked using your techique

- she did (and still does) grizzle initally when i put her down but i dont let her get to the distressed stage - i also bought a fischer price peek-a-boo water soother thingy which attaches to the side of the cot ( i have moved her out the bassinette and into her cot!) and when i put her down in her cot i turn the soother on and it lasts for 18min (has music lights and movement) which gives enough time for her to settle

- so, so far so good!! - And yes, i agree with your comment about things being lost in translation as your method did work for me (with a few adjustments to accommodate my DD) and i NEVER let her get distressed - so Thank you!

The method i used really doesn't make the baby distressed. I wouldn't have been able to do it if it did, because listening to my bubba cry makes me feel physically ill! I guess you'll just have to trust me on that one as a lot is lost in my translation. It sounds very similar to what anna used and i found exactly the same thing, lily will settle with cheek to cheek and gentle whispering. Maybe Anna explained it better?
I would love to hear how you went Ella Bear