why is it she is getting even harder to put down to sleep? :(

[milly5]

I put this post up several months ago:

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...either-158432/

and things are still just terrible.

Day care is fine, they get her to sleep at day care. She even puts herself to sleep at day care. WTF???

But at home, NO WAY.
At first I thought we were making progress, and she did put herself to sleep a few times, but then she worked out what was going on, and would begin fighting if she thought we were even heading for a nap, just beginning the first stage of the getting ready. She just arches and rolls and thrashes and screams. I have tried patting her, but although it worked the first time, now it doesn't - I can't physically hold her still as she fights and resists me.

DH can rock her to sleep - his arms are bigger and stronger than mine. sometimes I struggle to hold her squirming so much I am concerned I will drop her.

why T F won't she have a sleep? She did not have a nap at all today

Oh, and the only way I can get her to sleep is to BF her. She is almost 12 months old. I feel like I have completely stuffed up and created a baby who won't sleep unless in mums arms on mum's boob. Even when we co-sleep she needs to suck to sleep, I cant even just pat her, where as before at least I could pat her if we were co-sleeping. This is getting RIDICULOUS!!!!!

sorry for the rant.

[bec293]

Hi Milly,

I don't think you have completely stuffed up at all! She sounds much like my DS. I have stopped trying to put him to sleep in the day time as I felt I was wasting so much time rocking him, bouncing him in his hammock or trying to feed him to sleep with no success. Now I just wear him on my back when he gets tired, sometimes he has a nap sometimes he doesn't.. when he doesn't though at least he is having quiet restful time on me, which I think is the next best thing to a nap. It is very frustrating though, my mum can rock him to sleep in five minutes without even a grumble from him. He has been having one, sometimes two naps a day anywhere between half - 1.5 hours. I just try to remember that he is growing quickly and his sleeping will continue to change as he grows.

I was going out of my mind when I was focussing on his sleep, but now I just go with it.. I don't think about how much sleep he 'should' be having, I don't notice the time so much, and I'm feeling sooo much more relaxed and happy.

[Arcadia]

you're not doing anything wrong! Babies naturally suck to sleep, and breastfeeding is natures way of helping our babies off to sleep. I'm guessing your bub has figured out boobs and mum are waaaay better than being rocked to sleep. It makes sense other people can settle bub faster when you're not there...there's no choice!

I know how tedious it is to have a baby suckling allllllll night, but I promise it won't last forever!

You're doing a great job!!!

[Heaven]

You haven't done anything wrong. It's normal and it will get better I promise. My DD1 was exactly the same. She started improving around 14 months, that's not far away! DD2 is going the same way *sigh*

[Loveinamist]

There is nothing wrong you are doing! I still boob my baby to sleep...I have never been able to do it any other way. Sucking is the most natural way for babies to go to sleep of all ages. I was thinking about this today and I now believe that there is nothing wrong or right in parenting methods, as long as what you do doesn't cause your child distress. So if your child is genuinely distressed by not having boob, bottle, dummy, rocking, singing or whatever you use to get them to sleep, then it is a need and we parents provide our bubbas with what they need. If we do that then NOTHING we do is wrong. Keep up the good work!! It will get better and you need to do what is easier for you and if boob is the way then there is nothing wrong, backward, regressive or whatever the 'baby trainers' would have us think, about it.

[~StarBright~]

Yep- you have described my DS!!!! He was booby sleeped til I weaned at about 15 months!! And even before weaning and after weaning he fought sleep!! We tried to do a routine and he would just cry and scream and I would be trying to hold him down or I would keep laying him down and it was SUCH a battle!!!

By the time DD was about to come along (he was 23 months when she was born and we fought for him to go to sleep that whole time!!!!!) I was too pregnant to be lifting him up and laying him down again twenty times a night- so about a month before DD was born I gave up. We got a pillow and blanket and put it on the couch. when he was tired he layed down for a "rest" and eventually he started putting himself to sleep- but only on the couch- only if we were there. After a while a few times he did take himself off to his bed for a nap. And now he is three, this is still what we do. He knows bed time he goes and lays down either on the couch or on his little couch with his blanket and pillow- he isnt allowed to get up and muck around, and within minutes he is asleep. One day I am sure this will progress to his own bed!!! But for now I am enjoying no fight!!!!