Won't sleep without crying

[LadyRaven]

Lil mr. will not sleep without crying. Comforting, patting, wrapping, hugging just keeps him awake and screaming longer. If I put him down and close the door and leave him to cry within 10minutes he's fast asleep. I feel really bad leaving him alone but staying with him just makes him scream longer and he gets overtired and panicky. Any thoughts or suggestions or just let him cry? If he cries for longer than 10minutes I go pick him up and take him for a walk till he calms down and try and burp him before trying again. First time round he usually falls asleep 90% of the time in under 10minutes, and 100% second time..

[Lulu]

Some kids just get overstimulated easily I think. Mitch used to cry, then sing and moan himself to sleep, it was like he was winding himself down.

I suppose it's up to you, it seems to be his way of going to sleep though iykwim?

[Nelle]

Riv was like that too. If I went in, I'd just make things worse. So I'd look at the clock, and determine to listen again at 5 mins and then again at 10. By 10, it was usually quiet!

If the cries intensified, or sounded different to his 'tired winding down' cry, then I'd pop in, but usually it was just how he settled. He's like that even now, will have a play and sing in his cot to 'wind down' before sleeping.

Each child is different, and whatever works for you guys works for you guys. I know leaving Riv worked for me, whereas if I went in, I'd be in there forever. You're the mum, you know your bub and what works - go with that.

[Liviam]

Don't feel bad (I know how hard it is sometimes) because some babies need to grizzle to wind themselves down before they go to sleep. Like Nelle said you can always go in if their cry is different.

[LadyRaven]

It's more of a cranky angry drawn out whinge of a cry, it was just hard at Christmas to keep people out of the room to let him go to sleep and got a lot of "how can you stand to let him cry?" and joking comments about calling docs I know they're just kidding but sort of upset me and makes you question whether you're doing the right thing or if you should be doing more. Tried to cuddle him in our bed this morning to see if it would work but took him nearly 20minutes to fall asleep as he fights it to keep looking at you and around the room.

Thanks for sharing your experiences has made me feel better :-)

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I'm not a fan of letting them cry it out but it sounds like its working for him. Then again, I've read that controlled crying works because babies give up and withdraw, not because they've soothed themselves. Though I doubt that it's either one or the other in every case, all babies are different.

If you think the problem could be over stimulation, you could take him into a quiet room, draw the curtains and play some soft music and sit with him before he begins to cry. Instead of leaving him to cry, you could just sit next to him so at least he can see you, if you haven't tried that already. I don't know. The 2 month age is a really tough age. Could bubs have colic, perhaps?

[Liviam]

I think there is a big difference between controlled crying and letting your baby have a grizzle for a few minutes while they settle down. It is really difficult when people don't support the decision you have made for your baby. Always remember that you know what is best for your baby and works for them. Best of luck with your decison and I hope that it works for you and your little man. Sounds like you a doing a great job.

[LadyRaven]

Thank you all, he has a little music thing on the side of his cot I try and play for him he watches it for a few minutes before he has a whinge then falls asleep. Today though he hasn't been so whingey he came into bed and curled into me and fell asleep this morning then fell asleep by himself without crying, he has been a bit spewy today so I think it's just because he's not feeling the best. Over the last week or two though he's stopped waking up and screaming for food he wakes and starts to grumble and grunt for a bit instead...

One thing though if I put him on his tummy he'll do his cranky whinge then sleep but on his back or sitting up he absolutely screams and won't sleep, if he does fall asleep on his back because he's tired he won't stay asleep. He gets burped left, right and centre and doesn't get put down for an hour after each feed he usually sits upright on me till bedtime. Is there anything other than wind that could cause him to not want to sleep on his back? The CHN said a lot of babies hate sleeping on their backs and to put him on his side but he hates that too lol.

[Kazbah]

CM - we don't get a good night's sleep unless Pip is sleeping on his tum, with his bum up in the air. It just works out I think whatever they want. I've been sitting in here with my laptop, more or less ignoring him as he has a bit of a whinge, I give him a few cuddles or pats and he eventually settles ... but it feels horrid letting him cry

[LadyRaven]

*Hugs* I know how you feel But nothing else seems to work, I went in to check on him and he started to cry, I left the room and he stopped. He tries so hard to stay awake and looking at you if someone is there, if no ones there he just gives up and goes to sleep. Is yumyums time now am waiting for him to wake up for his last feed of the evening

[Liviam]

CM and Nelle you are both doing an amazing job with your boys. It is so hard listening to them cry but sometimes it is all that works so we have to be strong for them. It just breaks my heart sometimes but I know that if I hold her to try and settle her she gets hysterical. We do what we have to do what is best and works for our babies. You are doing a great job!