Did anyone see the article in The Australian yesterday about the optimal age gap for learning? DH was telling me about it and it sounds fascinating. Going to look at it now...
FWIW, there is 7 years between my bro and I and while we don't NOT get along, we're not close. We are looking at 2-3 years between DS and any siblings, ttc willing! I think it depends. DS is hugely clingy, likes to be carried, doesn't play by himself for more than 5 minutes and that's only if I'm 2m or less away and follows me from room to room, usually asking to be picked up. And I am fine with all that. But....there is absolutely NO WAY (DS or) I could cope with another child now! If I had a more independent child, it'd be different....
I really think it's individual.
My sister and I are 18months apart and while we get along OK, we aren't close. My brother and I have a 5 year gap and we're much greater mates, but we're much more similar personality wise than my sister and I.
Mine are all 3 years apart (well DD-DS is 2y10months, DS to belly bub will be 2y11.5months).
Not at all planned. We wanted them all close together and started trying at 6months and 12months post bub. Just not to be. In hindsight I'm grateful. I couldn't have managed with 2 littlies at once.
I got time with them alone that I wouldn't have had if they were closer together. They were TTed before their sibling arrived and are great little communicators. They're reasonably independent. That works for me.
They're still great mates. DS learns so much from DD, and she learns a lot from him.
TBH if I'm lucky enough to get a fourth, I'd want the same.
I have 3 all 14-15mths apart. So Ds1 was 2.5 when Ds3 was born (nearly to the day).
To be brutally honest, it was perfect in the beginning, I definately found it easy to deal with 3 kids under 2.5; its now that they are all preschoolers that its insanity and then some. The only thing keeping me going right now is that Ds1 goes to school next year. They are close, definately, but for the most part they fight and tanty and its terrible 2's x 3. I sometimes wonder if its because they are all boys, if putting a girl in the mix instead of a boy would have changed the dynamic.
So I definately would not encourage it unless you are 100% certain you can survive hell on earth.
Also, having two or more close together like that stuffs the dynamic if you choose a larger gap for subsequent kids. At this point in time baby #4 will be nearly 4yrs younger than Ds3. I worry alot about the baby feeling left out or isolated from their big brothers because the boys are close and are at pretty much the same stages for most of the time. Moreso if baby #4 was to be a boy. Its making us consider having 5 children to allow for a close sibling gap again.
My first two are 17 months apart, my favorite gap then 3yrs 10 mths between 2nd and 3rd (they do not get on). 22 mths between 3rd and 4th, also a great age gap, they get on well.
Then I remarried so after 8 mths I had my last three, who are 24 mths apart...DD2 had just turned 2 when DS4 was born.
11 mths between 5th and 6th (born in the same year) and 13 mths between 6th and 7th.
I have found it a little hard at time with the last three so close, it can be very full on but they are close and I think particularly the girls will be best friends.
One good thing is that they go to school one year after the other, so they will be in year 1,2 and 3...so they should be close at school too.
My brother and I are 14 months apart. We've always been super close - he's 21, I'm 22 and we've been best friends for years. That being said, we have very similar personalities and interests, so of course that helps. Our younger sister is 6 years younger than me. She was left out, not intentionally, for years simply because of the huge age gap, but, got more one on one time with parents, whereas bro & I didn't really have one on one. Now that she is 16, we're obviously not at the same stages in life, but she's developing as an adult and we are able to do more stuff with her.
DH also has 2 siblings, younger brother and older sister. They're all 18 months apart, and the oldest (sister) got left out. So he wants 4 kids. I'm open to 4. We are planning to have our second in quick succession of the first. For me, if we have a boy and girl I will happily stop. If we have two of the same sex however, once they're in school I would be open to trying for third, with the fourth also in quick succession, with they hope 1&2, and 3&4 will be close.
I don't want to depend on the eldest looking after the youngest though. My parents did that, expected bro and I to constantly entertain our sister so she wasn't left out. It was frustrating, two pre-teens don't want to be playing baby games with a kindy aged child, dragging her along to our friends houses etc. It would have been way better if she had a sibling close to her age to play with.
Well my two are 1year 11m & 2weeks apart!! Can be trying at times but I wouldnt change it!! Rhys was quite independent when Harri was born ie. Feeding himself and happy to play by himself. He wasnt toilet trained by then but by 2.5 he was so only a couple of months of two in nappies. Harri was a easy baby tho so it didnt seem like such a nightmare like I thought it would be.
I only have 1 child, but I can coment on my siblings. I am the youngest of
4, my eldest brother is 12.5 yrs older, 2nd eldest, 11 yrs older, and my sister is 8 years older.
When I was growing up it was great in one way, but annoying in another.
I was lucky that my brothers and sister tolerated playing with me as often as they did but it was also good in the sense that it was kind of like I was an only child, as my brothers and sister weren't home that often (school, work, social life, etc) and used to buy me presents for as and bday.
But I didn't always have people to play with ITMS, which is what I wanted, I remember always asking my mum for a brother or sister, but never got one. Lol.
But as I got older, I've started getting closer to my siblings and I love that they are so much older! They've been able to give me advice, help out when I need it, and be there for me just in general.
Long story short, there will always be ins and outs to each age gap, but it also largely depends on personality of each child too what works with some, doesnt with others
Sent from the mobile world of iPhones - while no doubt i should be elsewhere!
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but it was also good in the sense that it was kind of like I was an only child, as my brothers and sister weren't home that often (school, work, social life, etc) and used to buy me presents for as and bday. 
what works with some, doesnt with others 
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