Alcohol and TTC

[Marley&Me]

Does anyone really know what the effects of alcohol are when TTC? I haven't had a drink for almost 2 years (maybe a couple of glasses of wine) But my DH refuses to give it up. I am constantly nagging him to ease up on the drinking. He will drink at least 3-4 beers a night for 5 out of 7 days of the week. He doesn't often go out and have a massive binge, but he constantly has beer in his system. I have explained how important it is to be as healthy as possible when TTC (especially since we are having a hard time), but he still keeps drinking! He also smokes (rolling tobacco) though not that much.

I am afraid that his drinking is compromising our fertility and I know drinking should be stopped while TTC, but how much does it really affect fertiity?

[PumpkinZulu]

I'm not 100% sure, but from what I remember, smoking and drinking especially do affect fertility, especially in men. I'll do a bit of googling though because it could be a wives tale, you know? But from what I remember it does. I too was ttc for 2 years and only had a handful of drinks, but my DH stopped drinking with me

[Marley&Me]

Thanks PZ, I have googled, but I can't seem to find much, just that it's not good. I know it affects sperm in some way. I have told DH about this, but he always says to me "people always get pregnant from drunken one night stands etc"
He has very poor will power. And a very addictive personality. He has tried to give up smoking several times (being an ex-smoker I understand), but the drinking I don't understand. Fair enough if your going out all the time, but just sitting at home on the couch, does it really need 4 beers?
I guess I just need some cold hard facts to shove in his face

Lady-Tess, thanks for your story. I didn't see your post! That makes me feel better. I am trying not to obsess, but after 2 years I'm starting to go crazy I don't temp, never have. I do chart because I have irregular cycles and need to keep a close eye on things. But that's it, Dh sperm analysis is normal.
It's also nice to know someone else's DH drinks every night!

[Lady_Tess]

It's hard to say for your husband personally. Until he is told by a professional, but I do know this. TTC is highly frustrating time, and if a woman can pick anything to blame she will, I picked everything from my hubby's drinking to his weight, his shower temperature, and his food intake. I was watching everything like a hawk, and do u know what happened??? I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and was forced to not temp, not chart, not count days not plan baby dancing. It was planned for me to go on assistance drugs in 6 months but I fad to relax. And on our 6th month while waiting for af, instead I found we had done it.

Hubby has at least 5-6 beers a night most nights ANC hd didn't change, changing meant he was pandering to my expectations of him. Which very nearly could've sent me over the edge. in saying that, if he is TOLD he needs to cut back by a specalist, then THAT in my opinion is a different story.

All the best in your TTC journey. ((hugs))

[PumpkinZulu]

No judgement from me. It sounds like the drinking is affecting more than just ttc. I don't agree that he shouldn't have to give it up unless a doctor says so. If it upsets you or worries you then that should be enough. Have you had much testing yet Hun? Has your DH had a SA done, or is he willing to get that done. Most men find it very confronting (mine certainly did!) but it's the simplest way to find out if there is an issue...all of the testing for women is pretty invasive.

[Marley&Me]

I told him that he can go back to beers every night once I'm UTD! We had a SA last year all is good. I think he see's that as a green light to do whatever he wants. If I tell him how I feel, he apologises and won't drink for a few days, then he just goes back to old ways again. Arrgh!

Thanks for your replies ladies, maybe I will get him to the GP and discuss it with them.

[briggsy's girl]

No judgement from me. It sounds like the drinking is affecting more than just ttc. I don't agree that he shouldn't have to give it up unless a doctor says so. If it upsets you or worries you then that should be enough.

i tend to agree with this. if the constant drinking is impacting your relationship - whether TTC or not - it's time for him to address it. Yes, it might be feeling more like a problem at the moment because you're TTC, but if it's a problem for you guys now, it will become more of a problem when you're pregnant or have a newborn in your home, so it's much better to look at issues now, rather than later kwim?

for us, DH used to be a big drinker. he didn't drink often as he was working away in the truck, but when he was home, he'd have several drinks every night. i know it seemed worse to me than it was, because he was away so much - he was only drinking for a few nights every couple of weeks - but the simple fact he seemed to have to drink EVERY night did my head in! we ended up having a lot of chats about it - the reasons he was drinking, the impact it was having on each of us, what was going to happen when we had a child etc. it was tough going (and i'm kinda glad DH worked away - cos when you're on the phone, you HAVE to talk to each other!)

when DH stopped working away - it got worse for a while. i know it was a self esteem thing. he'd worked his whole life and all of a sudden he was unemployed. so we had a lot of issues - with a three month old baby. it was full on. eventually he made the decision that he wouldn't drink early in the week. it sounds like a token thing, but cutting down on his drinking sun-weds meant he doesn't drink as much the other days - and often will only drink if we have company or he's been doing heavy labour in the yard. he doesn't seem to have that automatic "need" to drink now.

it's really worth having a talk about "now" and "future" and the impact of that drinking habit - and if it gets him to cut back, it can't HURT your TTC chances! if for no other reason than you're more likely to want to DTD if he is making an effort - shagging a guy that reeks of beer when you're sober really isn't that appealling all the time!

[Marley&Me]

but the simple fact he seemed to have to drink EVERY night did my head in!
-shagging a guy that reeks of beer when you're sober really isn't that appealling all the time!

OMG, I hate that!! Beer and smokes! I always make him brush his teeth and shower before hand. My DH is also a truck driver so no drinks during the day. Funny thing is it's more during the week than on weekends.
And yes, I think maybe the drinking in general is bugging me more than just the TTC. But seems most DH/DP are drinking fairly regularly, I thought it was only mine!

Thanks BG

[Lady_Tess]

My pleasure Tasha. It is nice to share a success story. Although I do agree with PZ to an extent, I don't agree in taking the fun out of TTC. I know the pain of TTC (3 years before our stillborn son was conceived) and then another 18 months before this one and I am 25 weeks this week.

I suppose what needs to be looked at is, is the drinking a new thing, or has he always done it? Not that I need to know, but if he has always been a "shed drinker" like my husband, what right do we have to say stop??? Especially if his count is normal. In saying that I agree if if is important to both of you, then maybe a "meeting half way" can be discussed.

[Frangipani]

I'm not sure of the correct answer, but in our case...we were up to our 8th fertility treatment (4 IUI, 1 ICSI, 1 FET then back to IUI's) and we were becoming a little more relaxed. The night before our 8th attempt DH went to a mates house for 'just a couple if drinks' which turned out to be so many he had to be driven home. I was sooo mad and expected when the fertility specialist got his 'part' ready they'd say it wasn't viable or something. Turned out those 'swimmers' had no problem with it at all. His result was the highest percentages they'd been and one of his swimmers finally reached the goal...we finally got a nice strong positive result. Then when DS1 was 12months- I'd finished BF'ing 4weeks prior (so that likely helped ALOT) but once again after a few drinkies from both myself and DH...I found out a few weeks later we had conceived our DS2....and naturally.

So it might be thats its a big no-no (i have no idea...my fertility specialists were still telling me it was still ok for me to have a wine....even including on the day we'd had the inseminations done...they'd say go home, put your feet up, have a glass of wine and relax), but obviously it didn't hinder our TTC journey.

But as others have said it may depend on the extent your DH is drinking. My DH usually does do a couple of beers a night which i have no problem with he works long challenging days so a couple of beers to help him relax i think is fine here and those almost all night drinking things were rare (even more rare these days of course). In our case we needed to become more relaxed (but i guess not too relaxed...still within reason most of the time) about TTC as we did the 'serious and more controlled' approach and all it did was start to take us to a dark place.

Goodluck....I hope you get your BFP soon.

Bec sent this from her Samsung using Tapatalk.

[Taurean]

It's a tough one to know for sure, I think alcohol effects everyone (and their fertility for that matter) differently.

Both times, DH and I have continued to drink and eat as we normally would and I'll be honest, we both love a drink It hasn't effected our TTC journey at all. I was off the pill 3 months when I fell PG with DD and we were on our first month of TTC when I fell PG this time - and we only DTD once that cycle

My DH isn't unhealthy but has a few beers most nights and some nights it's several beers or a few wines. We'd both normally have a drink 4-5 nights a week and as I said, it didn't effect our fertility whatsoever.

[Marley&Me]

lady-Tess, He has always enjoyed a drink or two, but probably a bit more in the last 2 years. I am sorry for your loss I will try to negotiate

Frangipani, so I guess it's not all that bad. I consider myself to be a lot more relaxed this year than last year. I think I have excepted the fact that it may not happen in the near future I only chart to know what cycle day I am and I have just been able to use OPK's (never worked in past) So with any luck we will get lucky this year.

Taurean, you lucky duck!! What I would give to have life go as planned, if so I would have a 2 year old running around and maybe another on the way! Thanks

Thanks for your replies ladies, I always thought DH was drinking too much, but seems it's pretty normal to have a drink most nights. So DH can keep his drinks I suppose

[HotI]

Thanks for your replies ladies, I always thought DH was drinking too much, but seems it's pretty normal to have a drink most nights. So DH can keep his drinks I suppose

What is 'normal' depends on the culture/community you live in. I would agree with you that your DH is drinking too much. We drink, but neither of us drink every night and can go weeks without a drink.

From Alcohol - Alcohol

New national guidelines for alcohol consumption have been developed by the National Health and Medical Research Council to help you reduce your risk of harm from alcohol.

The guidelines are based on the most current and best available scientific research and evidence.

How much you drink is your choice, but the guidelines can help you make informed choices and help keep your risk of alcohol-related accidents, injuries, diseases and death, low - both in the short and long term.

What do I need to know?
Factors such as gender, age, mental health, drug use, and existing medical conditions can change how alcohol affects you. Responsible drinking is about balancing your enjoyment of alcohol with the potential risks and harm that may arise from drinking - especially if you go beyond low risk drinking levels.


What do the guidelines recommend?
For healthy men and women, drinking no more than two standard drinks on any day reduces your risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury over a lifetime.
Drinking no more than four standard drinks on a single occasion reduces the risk of alcohol-related injury arising from that occasion.

long term drinking of 4 ish drinks will be increasing his risks of more than just TTC difficulties.