Well, it's not ... I have mostly yucky pregnancies (with DS2 I was vomiting up to and including the day I had my caesar!!) and a truly awful birth (rectovaginal fistula, anyone??) and the whole thing was just terribly traumatic.
I love my kids.
I would love a daughter. I would love three boys.
If we had a third son, I would want him close in age to his brothers - maybe a 15-21 month gap. It would be a hell of a lot of work, but it would be wonderful.
If we had a daughter, I'd be happy with anything up to a 5 year age gap.
But we'd have no idea what we're getting!
We're not interested in gender swaying.
I miss being pregnant. I loved being pregnant. Pregnancy sucked. Pregnancy was haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard and 9 months of vomit and nausea and blood noses and dizzy spells and pain and nightmares and bleeding (only the once, but once was enough!!) and so forth.
But I know I'd do it all again for another child. If it was right for our family.
Tell me the truth about the difference between 2 and 3 kids ...
Tell me if I'm being nuts.
The rose coloured glasses are on the bench - give me the truth, before I put them on, or throw them out.
Not sure from the mums point of view, but as the youngest of 3, I loved it! I would have 3 purely because the dynamics of us kids was great. My 2 brothers were close in age and close friends and I am a bit younger and it just worked great
No idea about the kids thing. However, if pregnancy is that hard on your body, I would strongly recommend letting it have more time to recover. I can't remember which month DS2 was born in, but he must only be a few months old, your body isn't back to 'normal' yet y'know? I understand wanting to have them close, but you also need to keep yourself healthy so you can look after them properly.
Personal experience - I am the eldest of 4 girls, all born within 4 years. There's 18 months between me and my first sister. Growing up we got on well, and generally went everywhere together. Now that we're adults we don't see each other at all, but that's for personality and religious reasons. I get on better with my second sister, who is 24 to my almost-27. I think it comes down more to personality once the kids get older, rather than age gap.
I went from 1 to 3 with 18mths between DD and the twins . Our original plan was for 2 and we got a bonus baby and to be honest I'm happy nature made the decision for us to have 3. I am happy that my boys will always have a bond with each other and with DD close in age hopefully they will all be really good friends growing up.
I've heard the jump from 1 to 2 is harder than 2 to 3, but I can only say that going from 1 to 3 has it challenges for sure but the positives far outweigh any negatives .
Seriously though - we wanted #3 close to the other two as well. I love how my other two play now. It's gorgeous, when they aren't whacking each other
But God had other plans. You know that. So you might feel ready, but your body might not comply. AF might not return... Especially if you continue the express train that you're on
Didn't get AF back til DS was over 12 months this time... And then you know what happened. So if you're ready to think about it, think about it and see how the path in front of you unfolds.
I found one to two harder to dea; with than two to three. DD3 seems to have fitted in very easily to our family with no major upsets. I do have a very supportive family which helps, like today the two little ones have colds so Mum took DD1 to school for me so we didnt have to go out in the cold. It took me longer after number two to mentally be ready or another baby even though I would have liked them a little closer, although its early days the age gap as nice as dd1 and dd2 are really interested and involved in everything dd3 does and its nice they are a bit more independent too. 1 in nappies is soooo much easier than two!
TBH 2 to 3 was no big deal for me. But my body got a big rest between babies, and as a result this was my easiest, healthiest pregnancy yet. And, even though i was out of the night feeds, nappies, spoon feeding etc, it wasn't as big a challenge as I felt it was when it happened when DS was born. Miss H has just slotted in and was the perfect child to add to our family.
I can't comment on close age gaps as mine are all three years apart, but we are def thinking about going a 4th so it can't be all bad.
If you want to have a third, then go for it. We did Our third DS is still almost 8 weeks away so I can't comment about actually having three kids yet, but I would maybe add to what Keike has said about giving your body a little time to recover after your DS2's birth. I'm finding this pregnancy the toughest of all, and it's been a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy (other than the first few weeks). I'm not suggesting everyone goes through this, but I'm finding it tough at the moment with my four and two year olds really testing me physically and emotionally (it's fairly age appropriate behaviour, but they're pushing my buttons). So for that reason if nothing else, I'd encourage you to make sure you're physically and mentally ready for a third pregnancy.
I don't think you are nuts at all. I have trouble falling pg (am pg now) and have thought about # 3 even though it could result in m/c and heartache all over again, so I must be nuts too ;P
you are definately not nuts, or if you are then i am to. you have the same mindset as me, my boys are 14 months apart and despite it being hard i LOVE it. i want a girl so bad but i would also love 3 boys! and if the third is a boy i dont want him so young that he gets left out ITMS. we've agreed that when Daylen is about 18 months we'll start trying for number 3. ive been pregnant 3 times and all 3 times its happened on the first month so given our luck continues that means there will be just over 2 years, give or take, between Daylen and number 3. so either sex i think thats a good gap. i wish it was now though!! i love pregnancy, labour, birth and newborns
I'm typing this while holding my "Should we/shouldn't we" #3. DO IT!!!!!! My pregnancies are dreadful and this time round I struggled enormously to look after my girls while dealing with HG, emotional stresses, anxiety etc. I had no hope of keeping the house under control - it was enough just to do the bare essentials.
I do have good births and this one was no exception so that wasn't a factor for me.
Stickability following conception was a huge issue, and I had hormone treatment for the first three months which was hard going - both on me and also on my girls (DD1 at one point before we told her I was pregnant asked if I was dying because she saw me constantly taking tablets, giving myself injections and going to doctors appointments)
Its very early days for us but I am so incredibly glad I ignored all those nagging doubts I had about a third child. My latest girl is just perfect in every way, and it is an enormous help that she is a very easy going baby (DDs 1 and 2 were screaming banshees who literally were on me 24 hours a day for months)
Our negatives were things like delaying me returning to work, significantly increased costs once Lexie is at school with private school fees, activities etc, our age (I'm nearly 42, DH just turned 41). All of those things seem pretty unimportant now that she's here. It will be harder, money will be tighter but we'll manage, and all of that is a very small price to pay for having another perfect little person in our lives.
Nope, not nuts. Having a third is a great idea IMO.
Just like you, I have horrible pgs. Im here at 16w in bed, feeling awful. I just threw up an hour ago, but I know it will be worth it in the end when my little prince or princess arrives. I know if I can get through this pg then life with three kids cant be any harder. I will tell you that it is REALLY hard to be so sick and look after two little ones for months and months. I dont know how severe your m/s gets, but if its like mine its pretty debilitating and it has taken a huge toll on me this time around. Also, my normally spotless home looks like a bomb has hit. That being said, I am willing to put myself through this because I want the third child so much. Its a small price to pay for the joy of another baby and I dont regret trying again for number 3 at all.
Id say go for it when your body feels ready. I know my body wasnt physically ready for this one because I hadnt alowed enough time for my body to repair itself after the last 4 m/c. Emotionally, though I was ready to go for baby 3 just days after DS2 was born. I wanted a much smaller age gap between DS2 and baby3, but God had other plans for me too and Im happy to say that there certainly are advantages of having a larger gap between kids.
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