Attention: TTC'ers looking for a laugh! tee hee....

[Georgi]

Oh no Ren. ROFPML about baking the roast & the thermometre. That's a crack up.

[*Beema*]

Hey Renstar, love the thread you started! I received this letter in an email today and I sure that all women can relate to it - but especially women TTC'ing and AF is the last thing an TTC'ers want to see!! Happy reading!!

It's worth reading just to see what was printed on the maxi-pad adhesive strip! Hilarious! What were they thinking!

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

[Indadhanu]

ROFPMSL!!!!!!!!! Vic thats hilarious!

[puppies]

Holy smoke that's hilarious. I must admit that was a stupid comment to put on the product. I personaly like the "did you know" triva comments on the the Libra branded pads. I often find myself sitting on the loo, yelling out to my DH, did you know that an elephant can hold its breath for 20 minutes (that one I made up for an example I am sure its not true).

I have another funny for you, though I just found myself doing this seconds ago. I called to make my 6 monthly visit to the dentist. Making sure that I book this week cause next week I might get a BFP and I might be feeling sick and not up to getting my teeth cleaned! Can you believe that!

[Shanti]

Vic thats so hilarious! I showed DH even he had a great laugh!

Another one -

* You know you're ttc when you visit people and you don't give back the baby as you're leaving!! Instead you stand there holding the baby and the mother has to drag the baby from your arms!!! lol

[DiannaQ]

Vic I had to print that out - fabulous read on a Saturday night with 3 days till testing and going bonkers thanks

[GiggleMonkey]

This is such a great thread. I am laughing at these and at the same time thinking "OMG I do this!!!"

One of my own personal to add:

* You're being bridesmaid at a wedding and you ask the dress shop what the very latest you can order a dress is JIC you will need to order a size bigger to fit in your growing belly.