Back to Basics - How do i conceive a baby?

[Spuddle]

Hello everyone,

My DF and I have been trying to conceive on and off (I say that because he was fly in fly out for 12 months of our TTC period) for a year and a half now. I do everything right, pee on the stick and sit there praying and praying for a second line to come up that I don't need to squint at and hold a certain way in the sunlight to see, but it's never there. I thought it might have happened last week when I started complaining about not being able to eat red meat (i usually LOVE chops and steak and beef in black bean sauce etc) - i can't even stand the smell or look of it let alone the taste of it and it's killing me! - and one of my friends asked if I'd thought about whether I was pregnant or not. I'd taken a clear blue test and after 15 minutes it turned very positive, but it was out of the 10 minute period so it doesn't count and then my 'AF' arrived so I figured that's it for this month. AF was only for about 2 days which is extremely odd and it was very light. When my friend asked if I'd thought about being pregnant, I thought 'maybe this is it, maybe it was implantation bleeding' - for someone who's usually so obsessive with symptoms I never even noticed the food thing it was just annoying me! So i raced home and took another test, but alas it was negative. So...

How do I conceive a baby?
Should I take Vitex?
Should I be taking B6?
Should I be charting?
Should I be seeing a doctor as we haven't had the timing right very often in the last 18 months and with our long long 14 hours days, we rarely have the energy to BD anyway?

Any advice, support, kind thoughts would be so greatly appreciated

[Lenny]

Hi,
I can't help too much as i needed a lab full of people in white coats to help me BUT...
Do you know your cycle well? I mean, do you know whether you O on day 14 or anything like that? You can find that sort of thing out by charting - or by requesting some BTs from your GP, which will tell you also.
A really quick and easy test to also do is get DHs swimmers checked. It's painless and quick and it can sometimes tell so much. About 1/3 of issues are Male factor related i think. Checking female factors are much harder.

MY DH is 7 on 7 off and i know it's difficult sometimes to get the timing right, and then sometimes the pressure is just a huge passion killer.

Good luck
Jo

[Spuddle]

my df won't get checked. He thinks that if it's meant to happen it'll happen - he's one of those non-medical people. Even wants a home birth when we do finally conceive (although I've talked him out of that one!) so I kind of hope it's me if it's either of us because I'm willing to move heaven and earth to fix the problem!! I've got him on zinc so I'm hoping that that'll help him if he needs it. Thank you for your advice. It's so difficult getting that one line every month...

[Tobily]

I also agree with charting - once you get into it and understand it, it will help you know when you're fertile, and it can also help you to identify some problems (for example if your luteal phase is too short, and a few other things), and it can also help you to know if you're pregnant before you even pee on a stick.

It's free, it's easy to learn and it tells you so much about your body. You could well find it's something as simple as timing to early, or too late in your cycle and once you correct that BAMO! If you're not charting or using OPK's how are you working out your timing? So many women waste months and months BD'ing for day 14 when it's actually quite common to ovulate within a much wider range than that.

All the best and I hope you get your bfp soon

[slyder]

Spud, I wouldn't be too concerned about not conceiving yet given the circumstances you described.

But, from one bloke to your bloke, tell him to pull his finger out. It's not going to happen easily if there is an issue with him, so having the attitude that it will happen when happens isn't the best approach in longer term TTC in my humble opinion. Basically I can only reiterate what Kotare said. Good luck!

[~Raven~]

I have to agree here!

Get charting and see what your cycle is doing. That way you will start to see if you are DTD at the right time. You could be missing it every cycle!
If you are but still not conceiving then you'll have a good case to present to DF as to why he should get checked out.