I *thought* we had decided it was okay to start being "serious".
I *thought* that seeing me heartbroken month after month had changed his mindset.
I *thought* having another baby was something he wanted too.

BUT as DH has so politely informed me;
I can chart but he doesn't want to know about it because it makes it real.
Gee, ya think? having a baby is a 'REAL' grown up thing to do.
He wants a "were excited to announce we weren't using contraceptives and DW finally fell pregnant" baby... I've been waiting on that baby for 9 months. That baby is alluding me.

If thats the only way he wants another baby, I would rather be on the pill instead of holdinf put hope month after month.
Now I feel used like this arrangement was for his sexual benefit (at least 250% more sex now not using contraception).

If he doesn't want to be "serious" about trying, I want to be on the pill so there is no false hope. If I'm on the pill hes lucky to get any once a fortnight. So I'm off the pill to have a 'unplanned' pregnancy because my husband doesn't want to seriously try for a baby.

Awesome.

Oh and then he had the balls to basically say I was inconsiderate to his feelings and he obviously isn't allowed to have them - all because I didn't acknowledge what he was saying because oh gee I was DUMBFOUNDED to hear, last I heard he wants a fricken baby too.

(i undersatnd why he does not want it to seem real but I am hurt that i am expected to accept the fact he doesn't want me to try and therefore I should hide it from him? if he doesn't want to know about it, I feel he is not ready...)