the only way to KNOW for sure is to have had a BT to confirm your HCG levels. but really, you don't need to KNOW as was mentioned. the reality is, for a few days, you believed you were pregnant because of that test result, and you have to grieve that. it's human nature to "bond" as soon as you find out you're pregnant, so you need to grieve that. and it doesn't matter if it was confirmed by doctors or not, in your heart there was a life there, and that life deserves to be grieved

FWIW - i've lost several angels very early on. for me, i never get AF related pain, but each time i had a loss, i did. even at 4.5 weeks, it hurt. there was also more clotting and i bled for a different amount of time (heavier for shorter time).