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Thread: Only have one! long

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    Unhappy Only have one! long

    Hello everyone,
    Not sure where this post should go but here's my vent. DF is not too keen on having another baby (probably because i was very sick and a cow in my first preg) and everytime i mention a new baby he doesn't really want to hear it and shows no emotion. He has agreed to start trying after months of convincing, BUT his father is saying only have one you guys will be so much better off financially (he is a finance broker and has seen the worst situations that people have got themselves into) no one knows we are trying either we're keeping it to ourselves. I guess i am scared of baby not being loved or our daughter growing up without a real childhood as she'd be an only child if we didn't have another one. I just don't want to be 50 and looking back when its possibly too late to have children saying i wish i had another one. I have cried so many times thinking about it, The way i look at it i will never regret any children i have but i will regret the ones i don't. Thank you for reading if you got this far
    Kelly


  2. #2

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    Kelly
    I'm with you...waking up at 50 with regrets will drive you insane. Do what you need to do! As for the money...a big issue for us in light of the cost of IVF...we decided to no longer live our life by the 'constraints' the 'what if's' put on us financially...my DH and I are in a similar place to you guys but ours is about continuing the IVF journey...and DH knows that I need to have done everything i can to have a bub or I'll regret it for ever...so when he talks about the effects of the drugs on me and how moody I am etc I point out to him that if I don't give it my all...that's what he'll be living with 24-7!!!!!! Good luckxxx

  3. #3

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    you never regrett the children that you have- only the children that you didn't have!!
    just my thoughts
    odette

  4. #4

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    If you welcome your children with love, the universe will always support you!

  5. #5
    slyder Guest

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    What Odette said.

    And, ignore your DF's Dad, it's not his life and it's just ridiculous to suggest that two kids or more are a financial burden provided you have your finances in order in the first place. Try and sort out with DF the positives and the negatives about having a second, and make your decision based on that.

  6. #6

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    IMO if we only had children when we thought we could financially afford to lots of us would never get there. I have one DD and am pg with no 2 I know that financially we would have been better off with just one and even better off without kids at all but we will manage i know we will.
    If you want more and your DF is willing to have more than go for it. I am 1 of 5 kids in my family and i do not think i could have let my DD be an only child (not that there is anything wrong with only children etc) i am jsut so thankful that i have all my siblings as we are all the best off friends now that we are older. My DD has lots of aunts, uncles and cousins too.

  7. #7

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    Hello,
    Thankyou for your replies, after a fun packed family camping weekend i think DF is starting to get a little excited about another baby phew! And his dad well he had 5 children all very close in age so i don't think he ment any harm. Take care
    kelly

  8. #8
    rockchick22 Guest

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    financially you guys would figure it out...good to hear he is warming up to the idea

  9. #9

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    I think these days if people worried about finances and children the human race would become extinct. He is sooo warming up to the idea we were at the shops yesterday and he pointed over at a tiny baby and said "aaaawww look at the baby"

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