Hi Ladies,

I was a bit shocked yesterday when AF turned up.This cycle really didn't add up at all. Whats even more puzzeling is that AF turns up on day 27. I havn't had a 27 day cycle in years. Im regular at 30-31.

The crazy thing is that when I count back my leuteal phase, there is no way we could have missed. Either the egg didn't pop and my body tried again with the extended CM I was seeing late in my cycle, which it can do, or there just wasn't an egg at all. POCOS maybe?

Im really deflated today. dissapointed, loosing hope, and we havn't even begun to even try. I kinda knew AF was coming because my libido spiked days before AF as it does.
I laugh that it does because it's like your body still thinks it could get pregnant at the last minute and chances are probably 1 in a million. Its like 'hey...theres no egg...it's gone!' lol.

I don't know, part of me feels like this baby making thing is just too heart breaking and an emotional roller coaster I don't think I can cope with. It would just be so much easier to be childless and not have the worry. Im even beginning to think why am I going through this medication reduction if its all for nothing when I could still be on it and feeling fantastic? But my heart and my arms feel so empty.

I think I just need to go and cry under the shower for a few hours.

Thanks ladies

June