TTC is the most challenging thing I've ever done and it has changed me.
Me too, and having a child doesn't "undo" that, it is still a part of you. I have so much more empathy now, for people who have dreams and desires that seem just out of reach. It has also changed my expectations, and my willingness to enjoy life right here and now, and not put life on hold waiting for what you are planning in the future.

I manage OK by being productive and using distraction (like trying to sell a house, it needs to be a big distraction LOL).

That nervous feeling... well I was getting comfortable as a TTC'er, I knew how to play that game, but pregnancy was a whole nother ball game, I felt like I didn't belong there.

Sorry, rambling, not sure this is making sense, but and I hope the hope remains alive in you and you are celebrating your bfp soon.