What to do differently?

[Ngala]

OK, I know that I am only 5dpo, but you know how some times you just know?? Well I know that I am not pregnant. I just got this feeling that even though I did everything right, it hasnt worked this time round.

So I start thinking about the next cycle. What can I do differently? For the past 3 cycles I have been charting, temping, checking CP & CM, using OPKs, using pre-seed. I've BD an unbelievable amount. This cycle we BD morning and night during my "window" so I cant say that we didnt do that enough! We gave it all that we had, and it still wont be enough.

So what can be done differently? Should I forget all the charting and OPKs and just go through a cycle not knowing any of that? Its probably easier said than done I reckon! I was meant to TTC#2 in a relaxed manner, and I am definitely not doing that.

My mum says to relax and it will happen Yes ok mum, sure thing - but HOW?! I know to much.

I know when I O - CD16 - so maybe next cycle I will ONLY BD once on CD16 and see if thats the trick But I know, I'll start freaking and start BDing too early...



Next month its my 26th birthday, I was really hoping that this would be my present, the one thing that I truly desire right now......

[Maruschke]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong TTC takes time and patience (a virtue I am NOT blessed with).

I gave up temping but still do OPK's and keep my eye out on the CM. I find that because temping is an everyday event, it caused me to obsess too much. If you wanted to go back to the "relax" plan, perhaps consider that, and just BD as much as you can within the fertile window?

Best of luck, I hope you are wrong and you have caught the egg without feeling it.

[Ngala]

Maruschke - yes maybe I do need to take the charting out of the picture, I know when I O so I don't need the temps as confirmation of that. and I do obsess over the charts thats for sure...

Thanks!!

[LysnDan]

Ngala - I Agree with M.

I'd only track cm! And do opk's when you think o is approaching. I think thsts what I'll do next cycle if the bfp doesn't come! I'm driving myself insane.

I know how annoying it can be... The whole "relax and it'll happen" I do think it's true to some extent though. Although, when you know as much as what we know, it's really hard to forget the info and knowledge is not always power unfortunately.

I hope we all get our bfps soon xx




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[BeautifulMadness]

charting makes it worse i think....just maybe not chart as much

[Snacks]

You are doing everything you can by the sounds. Maybe you are wrong about this month Even mummy's intuition can be wrong sometimes!
Ok, my only suggestion would be slow down on the BDing as you've already suggested to yourself. Twice a day for several days might be too much, not enough time for the swimmers to be produced, and spreading them out too much? Maybe once a day over the O period? Or if you can stand it, every 2nd day?
I didn't have to wait too long for either of my babies, but I do know that after a cycle ends and you've charted and you KNOW you O'd and you KNOW you BD'd at the right time and it STILL doesn't happen, it can be so very frustrating. GL for the next cycle (that's if this one hasn't been successful... and you never know! )

[misty]

Ngala - if you figure it out, let me know. Unfortunately I've come to the conclusion that there really is nothing else you can do to make it happen any faster - it is all chance now. You have given yourself the best chance you possibly can, but it is still luck of the draw, a roll of the dice. I hope it lands on your number soon. (I would send you babydust, but I've decided to be selfish and keep it all for myself! )

[Ngala]

Snacks - thanks! I am trying to find out how long it takes for sperm to reach maturity cause I know men are constantly making sperm, but its the mature ones that you want! So maybe going twice a day limits the amount of mature sperm in each ejaculation. But.... it does only take one sperm to fertilise the egg and I am sure that there atleast one mature sperm in each ejaculation!

Misty - I will hun! As soon as I work it, I will let you know. cheers for the giggle about keeping the babydust to yourself - I sooo understand!!

Ok... I have noted these suggested

1. Stop charting
2. BD less often
3. Reeeeeeelax (yeh right)

[Maruschke]

Perhaps we need to trial a "TTC - and not obsessing" thread, LOL. See if we can't gather together with others who want help to not obsess, be somewhat relaxed, and yet still go through this journey together.

[misty]

It take 90days for sperm to reach maturity. I already researched it! Not that it helps, because the more they use the more they create - (a bit like breastmilk!) so anything you do today in regards to sperm production won't have any effect for another 3 months - and if you reduce how much you DTD now (to try and concerntrate the sperm) then in three months you will actually have a little less mature sperm to use (supply v demand).
everything I have read tends to suggest that unless there are male factor infertility issues, that DTD more often is actually a good thing - because although you might get slightly less per load (so to speak) you get a greater quantity of mature sperm overall.

[misty]

Perhaps we need to trial a "TTC - and not obsessing" thread, LOL. See if we can't gather together with others who want help to not obsess, be somewhat relaxed, and yet still go through this journey together.

Catch 22 - if you are (somehow) managing TTC without stressing, then you likely don't feel the need to post in a thread dedicated to it, because you are chilled and relaxed about it and don't feel the need to discuss and disect everyday of your cycle!

[Maruschke]

Catch 22 - if you are (somehow) managing TTC without stressing, then you likely don't feel the need to post in a thread dedicated to it, because you are chilled and relaxed about it and don't feel the need to discuss and disect everyday of your cycle!

Indeed, might be a quiet thread

[Ngala]

atleast it will be stress free and no obsessing

Misty - 90 days for sperm to mature? Hmmm well we started ttc 3 months ago now so going by that 90 days they should all be mature and ready by now!

There should be something that gives you super early confirmation if you've conceived and not wait the 14 days before knowing.. TWW is such a drag!


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[BeautifulMadness]

bit the male producing the sperm isnt always mature lol

[Ngala]

bit the male producing the sperm isnt always mature lol

so true BM!!


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[Snacks]

Wow, Misty - that I did not know!
The fertility book I read suggested BDing every 2nd day or every day around O, which made sense to me at the time because I figured that yes, while it only takes 1 sperm to fertilise an egg, if you have more single sperm in an ejaculate then... that's more single sperm available to fertilise the egg, KWIM? And yet, it never occurred to me that just BDing more often has the same effect, LOL! What a dummy.
Only other things to consider that I can think of are positions during sex (from memory missionary is most effective?), putting pillow under hips and lying like that for a while afterwards, making sure you have an orgasm. (Feel free NOT to comment on any of those ones )