hmmm all this waiting and wondering, sometimes it would be great to fast forward a few times. I would agree that after a bubba the cycle can be a bit all over the shop for a little while. Did your cycle come back quickly after birth?? Just poas in the morning and see what happens.
Do not feel bad about not being ready for another baby. I had my third 14mths ago and about three times since then I have be convinced that I was UTD and cried and freaked out each time. Turns out my cycle is still all over the shop after being so consistent for many years.

It's ok to be freaking out, but know no matter what the result you will be supported here and hopefully in real life too. Fingers crossed!!