I agree with Amaunet; high levels of stress could certainly impede a pregnancy, but for sometime outside to say that is insensitive. It's like someone telling me all I hafta do to lose weight is cut out the lollies and Coke - they have no idea I don't eat either of them, they're making huge assumptions about something they clearly don't understand. For myself, I've fallen pregnant when I've given up 4 times now - but they never stick, so obviously 'relaxing' isn't the be all and end all. It can be helpful for a couple to come that place by themselves, but it inevitably fails when they're doing it because someone else is telling them to.
While I was TTC I was one of those who hated being told to "Just Relax" and "try not to think about it", it brought me to tears each time as while we didn't have much trouble falling pregnant in the long term, we just couldn't get them to stay sticky.
Before having my DS I lost 4 bubs before 8 weeks, and went through the rollercoaster of depression, bad relationships etc, then I met the man I've now married, and relaxed and had fun and did everything that I hadn't done previously, was on the pill and low and behold DS was conceived when we had only been dating for 3 & 1/2 months and stayed sticky... so sticky in fact he didn't even want to come out in the end.
When we decided to try for #2, we started early thinking it would take a while did the whole "Trying-Without-Trying" thing for a few months, which didn't work.
Then I gave in over christmas/new year 2009/10 in the lead up to our wedding and we got a BFP, which I sadly lost a few days later on the night of my hen's night.
In late feb I gave up again for a bit again, and got another BFP which didn't stick either, and was gutted.
I kept plodding along for the next few months, but my heart wasn't in it anymore, so I decided in the lead up to mine & hubby's birthdays to just forget about the whole thing and be grateful for the gorgeous little boy I already had...
Low and behold I O'd just before hubby's birthday, drank and smoked at his party, spent the next week and a bit drinking and smoking with friends and enjoying myself and then on the day after my birthday (15dpo) I got my sticky BFP who is now due in 2 weeks. While it didn't take us that long really (11 months of TTC is nothing compared to what a lot of you amazing ladies go through), it still felt like forever, and every loss, every time AF reared her ugly head, I died a little bit inside, as I'm sure many of you do and can understand.
I now think that it works for some people, but not for others, but you will never know until you try.
Me personally, if I have shared the journey in the past with someone who is currently going through TTC, and they know that I have been there and done it and I say "just relax" they know that I don't mean it in a bad way, I mean it as a supportive person who knows what they are going through who is trying to help and can't find the right words to replace those ones that end up sounding so horrid.
I don't know if it does or not. Part of me thinks, yeah probably doesn't help obsessing about ttc but the other part thinks there is a greater reason above (although those thoughts waiver too!)
We tried for 12 months (on & off) for DD and then booked in to see the OBS/GYNO and fell pg then next month, so 13 months for the first bubs. This was after two m/c. The first m/c I went off the pill and were dtd all the time as we were overseas and just wanted to in different countries ;P Obviously after the m/c we really wanted a baby and were really trying and that resulted in another m/c.
This time we were not trying not preventing (NTNP) since DD turned 1 (June 2008) and ramped up things in October of the same year. Since that time and until now I had three m/c. I took 5 months off work to concentrate on ttc plus getting fit & healthy. We have also had a lap (resulted in a pg) done six months of Clomid, 3 failed rounds of IUI and have been referred to do IVF now and no further luck (DH has no sperm issues and I have not been diagnosed with anything other than 'secondary infertility / annovulatory cycles)
So, in the first circumstance I would have originally said 'yeah, the pressure off probably helped' but looking at this time around and in hindsight- we have had numerous breaks from TTC, I have taken time off work, NTNP etc... and it hasn't helped.
I have heard it all from 'relax', 'take a break', 'it's psychological' etc... and whilst probably meant from a kind and supportive place doesn't help (well not me anyway). Looking for MY queue how I want to deal with it helps. You'll know if I want to talk about it, cry about it, not talk about it if you know ME. And also, unless I ask don't tell me what works for you....
Interestingly, somewhere in the LTTTC threads there is a post about how stress DOES NOT affect the outcome of IVF, so I would think all things being equal that stress would not impact on falling pg naturally or assisted.
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