someone to talk

[sassy123]

ok so i dont know if there is anything like this or anywhere to go like this so can anyone help me out.

I know i need to loose the weight and it constantly get me down.
I sit and think about all the failled diets and tablets and everything and it all comes down to i have no will power to stop wat goes in my mouth. dont get me wrong if i do start then i can last maybe a week lol.
the longest thing i have been on is tony ferguson and that was before i got preg with DD i stay on it 110% for 5months and lost nearly 30kgs. but as soon as i slipped once that was it. i have tried to go back to it but i cant get past the first day.

My biggest problem is my head. If i knwo i cant have the food then my body wants it. if i have to eat smaller my body wants more. i try so hard and it feels like i am playing tug a war with my own mind. Also y do i think i look so good then i see a photo and nearly fall apart because of how much my mind alters wat it see's
I havnt always been huge but when i was like 3kgs from my "ideal" weight i would have people tellin me i am fat. my worst problem is my family.

Does anyone know if there is someone i can go to let all of my past problems and struggles out and to get rid of this thing in my head that says i need anythign and everything.

I need to be strong. i do so well then someone will put me down or somethign goes wrong and i fall back into that bad place.

I have been on duromine and DH told me over the weekend how much of a dif he can see in my body, but then this morning my mum asks if i am preg because i look like i am. So i go into depression state because i feel liek i have worked so hard and i look worse then go off at hubby for lying about me lookin good.

I have considered trying hypnotherapy or should i try somethign like councelling (sp) or is me thinkin that a councelor would deal with my weight issues a stupid thought?

ok so if u got through that then your doing well. sorry if it all over the place but hey that is just how i am at the mo.

After reading this i think i sound so stupid that my weight is my biggest problem but it just seems everythign thing i do comes back to it.

[Rommy'sMummy]

Sassy, I think a counselor is a great idea! Try your local health office. Not sure of the Quld set up but in SA I can see a counselor/phsycologist for depression/anxiety etc for free. They will be able to help you with your self control and self esteem issues.

You want your local "Allied Health" office of the Dept of Health. You might need to go to your GP to find out how to do it - probably a BBer from your way could point you in the right direction.

Dont give up until you find someone who you are comfortable with and is clear on how to help you. Good Luck! And well done for investing some time in yourself.

Rachel

[Amaunet]

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time of it. Weight loss is difficult for most people - so don't beat yourself up about it. Its even harder when you are facing negativity from people who are supposed to love, support and encourage you! Sounds like your DH is trying to do this tho! My MIL loves to comment on my weight and it drives me crazy - she is no supermodel and I would never dream of mentioning her weight to her!

what has worked for me was Weight Watchers - because it wasn't about a diet - it was about educating myself about food and being able to track my intake and make better choices. Nothing was off limits - but I had to make choices to stay within my points - or do some exercicse to "earn" my extras. WW also dealt with the emotional side of eating - a big issue for most of us. I loved the meetings - no judgement just support and celebrations when I did well and keep trying when I fell off the wagon. I even made a new friend! I never felt "deprived" on WW - but rather empowered!

Now i'm pg what I have learnt is helping me to stay healthy for my baby and not gain too much ( so less to lose later) I also liked Dr Phils Ultimate Weight Solution and some of the Bob Greene books (from Oprah) .

Good luck - the counselling sounds like a great idea!

[*Ali*]

What about going to a dietician to get some advice on lifestyle changes. I know where you are coming from, it is so hard to wrestle with your demons about foods. I think the main thing to learn is that it isn't about diet, it is about lifestyle- I went to my GP ad discussed it with her and because I was over a certain BMI I got some reduced dietician visits through medicare. I found it really useful to talk to the dietician because it readjusted the way I saw food, and eating etc.
Good luck finding someone to talk to about it- just remember no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them, don' let other peoples opinions, insecurities or views bring you down.

[Nadine216]

but then this morning my mum asks if i am preg because i look like i am.

WTF!!!! I may be out of line here but WTF!!!!! I would just snap back and say: "lucky I'm not you that carry twins in my A$$" No matter how thin/big she is!!! Really that is not a nice thing to say to your daughter.

Hun, your not stupid. And speaking to a counselor is a great idea. And taking to a counselor about weight issues are NOT silly!! In fact I think it would benifit you greatly.

Hun, what is your BMI??

Hope you get someone that can help you IRL

[Mother Goose]

There are counsellors who can assist you with the food side of things. I used to work with a counsellor who, before going into the field of Alochol and Other drugs, worked with people who were addicted to food. She is in Victoria though. If you call your local community health service, they will be able to put you in touch with counsellors and then give them a call, explain you want to see someone about anxiety/depression and also to help you control your emotional eating.

I'm also on a weight loss journey. I see a personal trainer twice a week (I'm lucky enough to have a husband who is supportive of spending that kind of money and being able to afford it... kind of). My PT not only works my body, he helps me to overcome my fears (which are pretty much all related to exercise/gym and self esteem) and talks to me about my diet. Perhaps, if you can afford it, try a couple of PT sessions to see if you like how it all works and if you can see it working for you. You won't necessarily see physical changes in just a few sessions but you will get an idea of whether or not it is for you.

You said that as soon as you have one slip up, you give in. Remember that everyone has bad days and weeks (I've certainly had a few!); a slip up need not be the end of it. You have to keep focus of the end goal. And consider it a life style change, not a diet.

Honey, when you're ready, you will kick a$$ at this. I promise. It took me a long time to get to the point of being able to actually deal with my weight and having the motivation to do something about it. 6 years infact. It certainly hasn't been an easy journey so far - but it is one well worth the sweat, tears, pain, and blisters. Last time I weighed myself, I had lost just shy of 5Kg in a little over 5 weeks which might not sound like a lot to most people - but a loss is a loss! And I feel so much better!

Lastly, here are a few quotes I use. Some of these are new to my list (courtesy of a thread on BB) and others have been in use for a long time;

A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.

You are the handicap you must face; You are the one who must chose your place.

If you can imagine it, you can achieve i; if you can dream it, you can become it.

Chin up sweetpea - you can do this and asking for help is the first step in this journey.

MG

[sassy123]

nadine: my bmi is 34

yeah i am tryin to just work on one thing at a time too instead of completly cuttin everythign bad out just do portion control. i think to the word diet makes me worse lol.

[Turkish Delight]

**gives sassy a big hug**

Only you will know when you are ready to start the weightloss journey. I think what your mum said was insensitive (sorry if this has offended you about me saying this about yor mum), but you need to tell her that you were hurt by what she said.

I tried numerous times to lose weight, fell of the bandwagon, jumped back on and so forth but your heart and mind does need to be set to lose weight. It is not easy to be prepared mentally for such a journey. Losing weight is hard mentally and physically as the pain of working out, grumbling tummy, cravings are really hard to deal with, but when you are mentally ready these will be a breeze.

I have the same problem as you, i love food and my mind doesn't register the fact that i have had enough until i feel sick.

i became ready to lose weight early last year and have lost 15 kgs. Definitely see your GP for support and recommendations.

Good luck on your journey.

[sassy123]

td: dont worry u didnt offend me. i know wat she says is out of line she always makes comments like this but if anyone was to say that about her it would break her.

[MsPink]

Poor Sassy..

I think so many of us have been in your position - honestly..

I am glad you realise you have a problem - 1st step and a very important one.

Am in total agreement with the girls..maybe seeing a counsellor is a good idea..but I also think that as soon as you make that commitment to yourself and nobody else, and start seeing changes in yourself - you will stop the negative thoughts.

Really think you should see a dietitian or go to Weight Watchers. You get weekly support which I really think you need right now. You eat real food and learn to adjust and actually change your eating habits for life - not for a month. With WW - you can have the chocolate you crave if you keep it within your allowance. I saw a dietician years ago and told her I can't live without chocolate daily, so she incorporated a mini choc - you know from the multi packs daily. I always find that the more you are denied, it is easier to fail.

You are obviously reaching that level where you are really ready to give it a go.

Very happy to be another support/cheerleader for your behind the scenes (you can always PM me).

You need the help kiddo - forget TF, you can't sustain the shakes for life. Go the real food - but do it with weekly help/support.

You can do it Sassy - we will all help you...