I had lapband surgery, but while it helped with my hunger and my portion control, learning new habits was something I had to do on my own.
My first hurdle was accepting that I have to exercise to be healthy and fit. Not necessarily to lose weight, because I think attaching exercise to weight loss de-motivates you in the long run. I had to accept that I had to make time to exercise, to not allow any excuse that prevented me from exercising, and to make it a part of my life, like showering, or eating, or washing up. It's not negotiable.
Hurdles? I study and work full time and I have a family, including a young child. So I bought a spin bike cheap over the internet, come home from work, cook and clean, put my baby to bed at 8.30pm, cycle like a demon for 40 mins, then study. I cycle every Tues, Thurs and one day on the weekend. If I miss one session, I owe the bike that session, and have to make up for it. I hardly ever miss a session. I just do it. It's not pleasant but neither is cooking or cleaning, but I do that too, all the time, and will for the rest of my life. This is no different.
So in that respect, I have worked around my family.
BUT I also make time for me. My needs are important, and I need the freedom to do the things I need to do for me - be it exercising, or buying the 'right' foods, or refusing to get pizza for dinner even though everyone else in the house wants it. If I want to be the best person I can be as an example to my kids, I have to also teach them to learn to prioritise their needs, and not constantly make their needs secondary to other people's needs.
I think as mothers, we teach our daughters espeically that their needs aren't as important as other people's (especially men's needs) when we treat our own needs as unimportant in comparison to our husband's. I don't think that's the right message to give our kids.
And in the scheme of things, making time for me benefits my family. I only spend 120mins a week on 'structured' exercise. That's nothing - only 3 hours in a week of 168 hours. Who isn't able to spare that? In return, I can play footy with my 14yo, or run around the backyard with my 3yo, and have a better quality of life in general. The other stuff I do also translates into good news for my family in the long run too (like less pizza and more fresh foods), so having some focus on 'me' means good things for them too!
So if you take your life and find the positives in changing it so that it's healthier for you, you will find the motivation to get there in the end. It's when people look at exercise and healthy eating as a chore, or difficult, or self-indulgent (eg: it's only for me that I want to lose weight) that they lose motivation, because I think women are hard-wired into thinking that when things are busy, the first thing that gives is your needs. If you see it as better not just for you, but better for your family as a whole, and will help you ALL live a better quality of life, it stops being a chore, or being hard to achieve.
Good luck, matey. I don't know if I made any sense. I hope I did.
Thankyou everyone, I really appreciate the advice. It has given me lots of motivation to keep on trying. I have to keep on trying because I cant be like this forever...I will be back tomorrow to put some more thoughts down, but for now, I'm off to bed
Hi Lilias
I thought I would let you now what I am doing to help me be a better mum for my kids.
I am going through PND at the moment and have to change medications so my body is going through alot so for once the Dr's say not to try and loose weight as I don't need the added stress (body and mind). At the moment I have no energy and no appetite, I need a nanny nap in the afternoons and I wake alot during the night still. I have been told these are all side effects from the new medication and withdrawals from the old and that it will continue for a few more weeks and then gradualy ease.
So what I have done to help myself at the moment (as I was putting on weight from not eating) is a meal replacement called Iso whey. It has alot of Vit and Min plus alot of other nutritious additives in it (you can look up the info on the iso whey site plus there is a diet plan on the site). When I first started checking it out I could only find it at the price of $65 a 600gm container but I have found an online chemist that sells it for $39.95 + del (del to my place is $8.30 and I got 3 containers - del goes by weight). It works out at about $2.20 a meal and I have 2 meals of it a day and then eat with the family of a night.
I have been drinking it for 10 days and on day 7 I weighed myself to find that I have lost 1.6kg. I can't exercise due to pelvic pain. So basicaly I have limited exercise of walking around the house & tending to my 3 little rascals (when I am not in bed from pain or medication).
If you want you can message me for more info.
Hope I have been helpful.
Take care
Chris
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