Weighing in...in front of others

[AliBaby]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It is interesting to know what others feel comfortable about.

My weight to me is a very personal thing. I know how much I weigh, I think about that each and every day so I feel that I dont need the pressure of my family and DP knowing it. I wonder why someone close to me feels the need to see me weigh in, like I am lying to them about the number I tell them. (Well sometimes it might be a couple of kilos off) but I know the truth and thats whats important.

I have done WW. Havent been for the last month as I just cant afford it at the moment and I had no problem weighing in there. They are very private about it so even if there are people directly behind you in the line, they will have no idea about your number.

What has bothered me lately and why I wanted to start this thread, is because over the last couple of months, DP has tried to coax me into the bathroom to weigh me! I have told him what I weigh, so I dont know why I need to do that in front of me.

I am already not happy with my weight and I really dont fancy someone judging me in the at of weighing me. Does that make sense?

I told him that I dont need to get on the scales in front of him as I know what I weigh, maybe its just the principle of the while thing. I have told you, so why do I have to show you kind of thing?

Anyway I am rambling.


FWIW some of what you girls have been through int he past with weighing in is absolutely shocking. No wonder people have bad body images. Whether they are a slender or curvy.

[Tinks]

Oh Ali I wouldn't like my DH to take me into the bathroom to weigh me either. Does he think he's helping? What does he do when you tell him you don't like him doing that?

I never weigh myself infront of DH either and would never divulge my weight to him, he has no idea what I weigh. I'm pretty sure he's ok with how I look because he's never ever made any comment about it and I was the same weight I am now when we started dating.

[Bathsheba]

We don't own scales at home, never have. I don't believe in them. Even though I have a thyroid condition which means my weight really fluctuates I won't buy them. I weight myself every few months at the doctor's surgery and if it's a concern I discuss it with my doctor. It's like any other health statistic. It should only be interpreted by the person in conjunction with a trained professional. So many things influence weight and the average person doesn't have a complete enough knowledge to correctly assess what a certain weight means. For a start: MUSCLE weights more than FAT. A person with a weight "problem" might have been really working hard to build muscle and the last thing they need is for someone to wrongly interpret that as meaning they have gained more fat. Fluid retention is another factor.

It's great if you can distance yourself from your weight enough to weigh in front of others though. That can be a sign that you are really ready to make changes and want to be accountable. But no one should recommend you do this. Humiliation as a modifer for behaviour is so last century. Surely education is the best strategy.

My Dh doesn't know how much i weigh just as he doesn't know what my current iron levels are or my exact height to the centimeter.... if I thought his input would be helpful i'd tell him. He can see with his eyes how my clothes are fitting and if he has any concerns then that should be enough to raise a discussion.

LOL at Trill's DH knowing her weight due to being a good estimate of farm stock!

[AnyDream]

What has bothered me lately and why I wanted to start this thread, is because over the last couple of months, DP has tried to coax me into the bathroom to weigh me! I have told him what I weigh, so I dont know why I need to do that in front of me

That would really get my hackles up. Of all the people in my life, I think my DH is the person I'm least likely to discuss numbers with. He's very supportive (and he fancies himself as someone who 'helps' other ppl with their fitness goals etc - ie he trains with ppl from his work to help them get their fitness back on track) but he has NO IDEA what it's like to inhabit a chronically overweight body.

Has your DP said WHY he wants you to weigh yourself in front of him? I'm puzzled that he would even ask after you have provided him with a figure??? What is the reason do you think that he doesn't believe what you have said (ie do you 'fudge' when you talk to him about it)? IMO you are absolutely entitled to defend your personal boundary over this one, but I think it would be helpful for your relationship to identify why this is an issue. Are there honesty issues elsewhere that are showing up over this? Does DP somehow feel 'entitled' to your weight loss? Is there some sort of deal-making going on (spoken or implied)? It's important that you are losing weight for YOU and not for anyone else, kwim.

[BrightSparkles]

I sooo totally understand where you are coming from!
I get so angry and frustrated with this type of behaviour as well.

You've done and are doing soo well! Keep up the awesome work! xx

[Roryrory]

Just a different perspective (one which I must admit I have adopted from my very slim DH). I used to have issues about people knowing my weight but now think - people can actually see my size. I can't stop that. I could be 100kg but if I looked and felt like a fox because I was training for an iron woman contest the number it wouldn't matter. Similarly if I weighed 70kg (my "ideal") but had low self esteem the number wouldn't matter either.

So I have no probs with people knowing my weight. I am now 83.3kg. It is obvious I could do with losing some weight. So being circumspect about the number would only draw attention to that fact, and make people think I was somehow defensive about my size (which I am not - I am overweight and I take responsibility for that).

Not saying this is the right way to feel, but it is a more "male" perspective which can sometimes be helpful....

[Bathsheba]

I "get" that Rory Alot of what you mentioned is true... although regarding the "reponsibility" factor I know quite a few women like myself who have thyroid (metabolism) issues which is hard to take responsibility for. I'm a "lucky" one in that I have an over active thyroid (meaning that periodically my metabolism speeds up too much = rapid weight loss). But there are women who have the opposite, a slow functioning thyroid. From what I have read these women REALLY struggle to lose weight no matter how good their diet is. On a side note I really recommend a thyroid test if you feel that this could apply to you. I have also read that post natally 1 in 10 women suffer from a thyroid condition... and often it is misdiagnosed. It can be mood altering too so imagine being in the situation where your weight problem is due to a medical reason beyond your control and yet being told to be accountable for that. Although I do also agree that there are many women who DO need to address their diet... deal with the sugar addiction or whatever... and take responsibility for their food choices. I think though that the first step should be to see your doctor and get the facts. You have to know what you are dealing with.