Domestic Blisssssssss

[Roryrory]

Not me, for one LOL!

I am a big believer in not giving in to ANY attempt by the media to divde and conquer women. Mothers, whether stay at home or working, breastfeeding or formula-feeding, vaccinating or not, should, in my opinion, support eachother in their mothering. And women, whether mothers, hope-to-be or soon-to-be mothers or childless by choice should (again in my opinion) support eachother in their individual pursuits.

So it is from this background that I say I couldn't for the life of me be a full time stay at home mum, particularly in the way depicted in the 60 minutes story. Part of me hankers for it (especially when I say good bye in the mornings and leaves my sons with their daddy) but quickly I remind myself that I hated being a full time SAHM. Personally I need a career to feel fulfilled (plus I am the sole breadwinner for my family so to some extent my choice is made for me) and while I love my children dearly I do not want to devote my life to being their mother. Rather, personally I want to devote my life to being a good person and raising happy children, which for me (in my personal world-view only - I am not prescribing things for others) means working and being a mother at the same time.

(All that said I did get a huge kick out of being a Domestic Goddess when I was a SAHM - even the outside of my kitchen cupboards were wiped down every week! I got a kind of sick thrill out of cleaning LOL! I used to love reading pro-housewife blogs and websites - even my own mother (who believed, when I was young, that you can tell a good housewife by whether the top of her door-frames are dusted) thought I was sick LOL!)

[jackrose]

It is so great to hear two women who are really happy in the choices they have made and the situations they are in!

What a pleasure to read your stories.

RoryRory, love your comment (please excuse the editing!)

I am a big believer in not giving in to ANY attempt by the media to divde and conquer women. Mothers... should, in my opinion, support eachother in their mothering. And women... should (again in my opinion) support eachother in their individual pursuits.

Vixstar, I am glad you felt supported in your life choices and it sounds as if you have a very happy home.

[Meo]

I have to agree with Rory - while I would love to be a stay at home parent, I don't have kids! But I do know that when I was a uni student and DH was supporting us, I would go barmy if I was home all the time. And I don't think kids will make it easier.

ATM, I hate work and would happily resign to do the Domestic Goddess thing, but that's because I feel like I need to take time to make space for the kids that are coming to us, IYKWIM? OK, it's very "The Secret", but there's so much going on in my life atm that I don't think there's room for a baby until I sort myself out. And I need Domestic Goddess time to do that

[AliBaby]

I think the episode raised very valid points in that women especially are putting so much pressure on themselves to do everything all at the same time and conquer it all.

I think it is great that alot of men now help around the house and it is not just considered to be entirely the woman's role to keep the house in order, prepare meals, etc.

I think we need to give oursleves a break sometimes but wonder how that is possible.... hmmmm!

[Rouge]

I can see some aspects of what she meant, but to me she was more a surrendered wife that a domestic goddess. One can be a domestic goddess without being under her husbands "rule". If she's a domestic goddess because she wants to great, but when I hear things like "he expects dinner on the table when he gets home" then I lose respect... A woman (or man for that matter) does not NEED to be oppressed in order to be a good wife or a good mother. If she enjoys it great scream it from the rafters, I do, but you know what if I'm sick or having a bad day I know my husband will not come home demanding silver service, instead he'll get in there and help. We do not have gender specific jobs. I do the majority yes, and I enjoy it but if I need him to hang up some washing or vacuum its not below him.

I do agree that women do put on all the pressure. But I think men can do this too. I don't need to be a martyr but be damned if I'll let my husband be one either, and we both have our moments

What I hate about shows like this is once again it puts one side off against the other. I have friends who work and are great domestic goddesses just as I know SAHM's who openly admit they are far from domestic bliss and couldn't give a rats. Celebrate what you love, no matter what you do You are all wonderful mothers, wives and people

As for me I like the 1950's housewife/stepford wife image minus the oppressive crap And I'll wear an apron and fix my husband a martini when he gets home. But he believes there is no such thing as "women's work", but he also believes that what I do is harder than what he does, its just my job pays in a different currency but is no less valid.

[Olive]

just subscribing so i can come back and read this!

[fionas]

I missed the show and wanted to watch it!

I went back to work part-time when DD was 12 months old but am about to pack it in to, hopefully, become a domestic goddess. Why? Because the part-time work that I was doing was way below my capability level and going to work frustrates the bejesus out of me. My workplace's implied attitude is that I should be grateful that they've offered me part-time work no matter if it is the sort of thing I can do with my eyes closed. It's not about the money - they are paying me my old wage which is about $20K more than the job they've given me gets paid. Basically because they can't be bothered putting the time and effort into finding anything else for me. This is an organisation of 36,000 people so not a small company.

So right now, I DO have to choose between my career and my daughter. In an ideal world, I would be able to find stimulating part-time work in my chosen profession - but at the moment, I can't. I imagine lots of other women are in the exact same boat. Financially secure enough to only have to work part-time but unable to find anything.

I'm sick of going to work and feeling frustrated. I'm lucky that I do find satisfaction in cooking and cleaning - at least more satisfaction than the work I've been doing for the last 12 months.

But yes, I don't like gender-specific roles either. I do all our household accounts and give DP pocket money. He does a fair amount of cooking.

[Mrs Jak]

I missed it!!

It's great if it was about celebrating a woman's choice or her enjoyment to be a SAHM, but not if it put it up against those who choose to or have to go back to work. The great thing about the time we live in is that we have choices now.

I know there is sometimes a feeling in society these days that women are almost expected to go back to work and not stay home more than a year. I'm hoping to stay home as long as I can, but in these times you just never know and I may choose to go back to my workplace in a PT or casual capacity for enjoyment and/or income. I'm not a 'domestic goddess' by any means, but I'm trying I'm not a huge fan of cooking!

Again, in this household there is no such thing as 'women's work'. DH helps out where and when he can and is a great cook. (Thank God)

As for a husband (or wife, I guess) who expects this and that and only allows a certain amount of 'pocket money'. There is no way I could live like that, but I guess if you have a happy marriage and it's working, then good on you.