Has anyone used a sperm donor?

[robyn123123]

Hi there

We have found out my husband has a very poor morphology and poor motility. We tried for 5yrs to have our darling 23 month old son, and after 3 failed ivfs we managed to conceive naturally which is a total miracle.

We have been trying for number 2 for over a yr now but with no luck, so are going to start looking at donor sperm. I am 38 and my husband is 43 so we really want to get on with it.

I have so many questions on the how's and why's.

Has anyone out there used a sperm donor and how did they find the experience?

Did you use a clinic provided donor - QFG has a very limited number of donors?

Or did you use a website? I have looked on one site which seems to be quite well respected, but how on earth do you go about it ie how do you ensure the health of the donor, how do you organise collection etc?

I would love to hear from anyone who has been through donor program, or in the same boat with poor sperm quality and how you are dealing with it. I feeling rather confused and aprehensive i suppose about the whole process.

Many thanks

[Ella]

Just wanted to say good luck with it all Robyn. Hope you guys are all really well. Still think of you often. Hope DS is growing up big and strong!

[MummaBear79]

HI Robyn,

I haven't been through this personally, however my best friend just recently used a sperm donor through a clinic in Brisbane for a different reason to yours. The sperm was from America and she got a very very detailed description of the 'sperms owner'. It was about 8 pages long covering everything you can think of. I was really impressed with how much detail they go in to. She even got a photo of the donor as a child. She basically waited for the right time in her cycle and went in and they injected the sperm in to her uterus. She fell pregnant on the first go. Its approximately $1000 a go...

I hope that helps and best of luck in making your next bubba.

[Pretty Butterfly]

I havent done this myself, but a girlfriend has... *warning, it does seem strange*

They had spent $48,000 and 9 years on IVF, as hubby has no sperm count, she however if complety normal in the ovary/egg depatment.

So as a last attempt, and very broke, they found a guy online. They flew to melbourne day before O was meant, met him, had full checks done, and the next day he gave his "sample". Back at the motel hubby used a big syringe type thing,(with no needle) and inserted the sperm up near the cervix. She elevated for a while.

In utter shock, she found herself pregnant!! And has a baby girl, 18mnths old..... AND just went back to the same guy, and pregnant again!!! So IVF failed for 9 years, and home insemination worked 2 out of 2!!!

Not sure if its for you, but thought I would share... xoxoxo

[toomanyshoes]

I havent done this myself, but a girlfriend has... *warning, it does seem strange*

They had spent $48,000 and 9 years on IVF, as hubby has no sperm count, she however if complety normal in the ovary/egg depatment.

So as a last attempt, and very broke, they found a guy online. They flew to melbourne day before O was meant, met him, had full checks done, and the next day he gave his "sample". Back at the motel hubby used a big syringe type thing,(with no needle) and inserted the sperm up near the cervix. She elevated for a while.

In utter shock, she found herself pregnant!! And has a baby girl, 18mnths old..... AND just went back to the same guy, and pregnant again!!! So IVF failed for 9 years, and home insemination worked 2 out of 2!!!

Not sure if its for you, but thought I would share... xoxoxo

Gotta do whatcha gotta do hehehehe

[Pretty Butterfly]

Thats what I said to her, If it works, and gives you such a beautiful little girl, go for it!! And here she is with #2 coming, its just wonderful!!

[Shades]

I looked into this a lot before going ahead and the safest option by far both legally and health-wise is to go the sperm through the clinic route - even using US import if you're not satisfied with your clinic's available selection (which is what I did). I was safe from STIs, covered legally and have no concerns about any custody issues or claims.

[dreamrise659]

Hi Everyone,

Shades, I agree legally and health wise going through a clinic is the safest option, however some people can't afford it (it cost me $13,000 out of pocket to go through a clinic and the only way I could afford this was that I was fortunate enough to have my parents loan me the money interest free). I spent $2000 on 3 private donor insemination attempts (flights, accommodation, car-hire etc as my chosen donor lived interstate). And my $13,000 through the clinic covered 4 clinic attempts.

Also some people want to know the person who provides half of their child's DNA. I originally wanted a donor who would have some contact with the child (my ideal situation was contact around 4 times a year) however after nearly 2 years of searching for the right donor I changed my mind and decided to go with a donor who wanted email contact and exchange of photos but no face to face contact. He proved to be a great guy and even when I ended up having to go through the clinic and use clinic anon donor sperm he has kept in touch with the occassional email to see how I'm doing.
I have found it quite hard to get my head around knowing so little about my successful donor (I recieved half an A4 page of info on him).
I recently wrote a letter to him asking for more information and left it with the clinic for them to forward to him. They explained that they would first need to contact him to see if he was willing to recieve the letter, if he says yes they would send the letter to him and if he decided he wanted to reply he would then need to attend another counselling session before replying. I hadn't realise how complicated it would all be.

I haven't heard anythign so I'm wondering if he said no or if the clinic couldn't locate him (perhaps he has moved from the address they had for him).

I feel a bit sad that I won't be able to provide much information to my daughter about her biological father if she wants to know in the future (she's only a week old now).

My other daughter is 14 and I have photos and letters from her father that I have shown her when she has asked. It means she has not been curious enough to want to meet him yet because these little things have satisfied her curiousity.

Lori
DD1 -14, DD2 - 1 week old

I looked into this a lot before going ahead and the safest option by far both legally and health-wise is to go the sperm through the clinic route - even using US import if you're not satisfied with your clinic's available selection (which is what I did). I was safe from STIs, covered legally and have no concerns about any custody issues or claims.