I don't think you're overreacting at all hun, if it's not in keeping with the way that you are parenting your son then it's maybe not the best place for him to be? I'd perhaps be looking for something else.
I guess it depends on what your options are. Do you have the ability to look and place him in different care? Could this be more trouble than the current situation?
Or do you feel comfortable addressing the situation with the carer? Knowing what you do of her, what do you think the chances of your conversation changing the situation are?
Clearly you are not happy with the current situation. I think if you are going to talk to her you need to phrase it very carefully. I think Sunshine is right in making it about your DS and his behaviours, not about her DS. If you make it about her DS then it will likely go pear shaped. However, Mums are not stupid and she will probably know where he is getting these behaviours from.
Thanks for your replies. We had a bit of a chat this morning and I outlined what he's been doing here, and apparently he's not doing it there at all. She said it's hard when your child treats you badly such and such does this and this to me, and she didn't really make the connection. We will have to talk to the FDC provider about getting someone new, but I feel awful that the carer will feel I'm criticising her parenting. Argh!!
If it just doesn’t feel right for you and your family, find another option. It is very kind of you to think of how your FDC carer will feel, but you can’t worry about upsetting and offending (and I’m sure you won’t anyway), you’ve just gotta do what you’ve gotta do – what’s best for your family, they come first.
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