Homeschooling Discussion & Experiences #1

[Shanti]

Sorry for not being clearer. I'll try to explain again...... you're correct. At school they don't get to choose who sit next to in class. A lot of thought goes into arranging each desk so that they share with 3 other children who are on a similar level academically but not best friends with. Then in their PE and Arts rotations they work with children from other grades - once again chosen for them. At least once a week DS2 goes to the classroom with the autistic kids where he participates in group activities with them. Like most other schools in Australia the children come from a range of backgrounds - different cultures, different religions, different economic circumstances, different family shapes, different shaped minds, different ages, yada, yada.... as you say they are forced to negotiate and socialise with children who are very different to them.
As a homeschooler you can take them to homeschool camps but the demographic of homeschooling tends to be either religiously based (it's huge in the Muslim community) or middle class, 2 parent, white, families. It's easy to socialise with people from the same background as us but forging relationships with people who are unlike us is far more difficult. So....... how do you ensure your children spend a substantial amount of time with people that they have nothing/very little in common with?

I think that the reason that socialisation is the biggest stigma associated with home schooling is quite simple - if you can't work with people who are not like you and/or people you don't much like there is a good possibility that you will struggle to perform in your workplace and life in general.

Yep, it's wonderful that school kids get all of that socialisation with different cultures, demographics, ages (at lunch time) yes fully agree but so do HS kids don't they?! At the shops, at the library, wherever you go there are people everywhere isn't there? My 3 yr old handles money over the counter already and chats to the staff. Everyone comments on how 'socialised' she is, so how is she missing out if she doesn't go to school exactly?? I am curious to know?

We travel every year to Asia. Our 3yr old has already been to Thailand twice and Fiji once, I hardly think she's lacking any knowledge of 'culture' do you? She can talk some Thai! You don't even know us.

*sigh* this thread is not benefiting me at all.... I honestly thought more HS mums would be on BB.

[Shanti]

Madb you are welcome to close this thread if you like. I'm done here.

[onthefly]

Moderator Message »
okey dokey!
We have a homeschooling discussion sticky, so would be great to add general tips, advice & experiences in there (as it's easier to keep track of in one spot).
Otherwise, Shanti started this with a specific purpose in mind, so perhaps we can stick to that and if anyone wants to discuss the pros and cons of homeschooling, perhaps they could start a new thread to avoid cluttering this one up?
Thanks very muchly!

[Heaven]

Anyways, back to homeschooling. Wanted to share another video that I liked RSA Animate - Changing Education Paradigms - YouTube

[Shanti]

Heaven that's one of my fav ones

[Heaven]

LOL, I just read this and it gave me a laugh.

We've got socialization covered (published in an American newspaper, Deseret News)
Published: Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005 10:23 p.m. MDT

When my wife and I mention we are strongly considering home-schooling our children, we are without fail asked, "But what about socialization?" Fortunately, we found a way our kids can receive the same socialization that government schools provide.
On Mondays and Wednesdays, I will personally corner my son in the bathroom, give him a wedgie and take his lunch money. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife will make sure to tease our children for not being in the "in" crowd, taking special care to poke fun of any physical abnormalities.
Fridays will be "Fad and Peer Pressure Day." We will all compete to see who has the coolest toys, most expensive clothes and the loudest, fastest and most dangerous car.
Every day, my wife and I will adhere to a routine of cursing and swearing in the hallways and mentioning our weekend exploits with alcohol and immorality. If our kids attempt to use the bathroom without permission, we will punish them immediately.
And we have asked them to report us to the authorities in the event we mention God or try to bring up morals and values.

Funny, but also a little scary because it's some of what I am worried about when my kids go to school.

[Chrispe]

I have been thinking Homeschool since about midway through his first year. Im playing out the rest of this term before I talk more seriously about it with DH. After all I have 5 kids, 3 with autism. Its not going to be easy. BUT neither is the sending my son to school to be miserable & a distraction to others.

You know, last term we had out parent/teacher interviews & his teacher had NOTHING to show me. All she could tell me was she didn't know what to do with him & hasn't the time for him. I put in a formal request to change his class this term. He is doing a little better so I thought but yesterday they told me he is still a problem. Its heart breaking.

Sorry to hi-jack for a second.



Oh efjay :hugs:
My DS1 is on the spectrum- I knew he wouldn't cope with a large school environment, so we found a small country school (150 students R-7) they have a big-little brother/sister program so that part of each week the grade 6&7s help the R&1s. I ask for my DS1 to repeat Reception as he entered school before he was ready academically & I told the teachers his first year was going to be all about learning to interact with the other kids. DS1 is still behind all his class mates on some levels, but on others he is ahead (his topics of interest).


My advice would be sit down with his teacher/s & principle and see what their expectations are, see how much experience they have with kids that have special needs (part of the reason I fell in love with our school was they have a lot of experience with special needs & being public they can get the government funding, example- 150 students per year, at least 10 with special needs in the school)

If you know what you DS(s) are most interested in (for mine it's everything about space)
See if his teachers/SSO are willing to base his learning around those topics.

Best of luck, if you want any more info on anything (including HS, as a used to be a HS kid & worked as a tutor with large HS families). Feel free to PM me.

Hi-Jack over.


As for the HS stuff- sounds like the OP has gotten a good idea of what she wanted/needed. Having seen & been in both school & HS I'd say give it a try, what way you'll know if it's for you or not. I have friends who HS now & for socialization with kids their age they have HS support group days. And there is always school holidays.

Best of luck with everything.

[~*familyof3*~]

Lmao luv it

pls excuse the spelling mistakes on my galaxcy

[Loveinamist]

I am frantically searching for an article I read about unschooling. Has a bit in it about reading that is inspirational...well was to me!

And just as a final note Shanti, I totally agree with you on the socialisation...will explain in a PM probably or is it safe to talk openly now?

BRB with this article hopefully!

[Phteven]

It's always safe to talk openly

[Shanti]

I am frantically searching for an article I read about unschooling. Has a bit in it about reading that is inspirational...well was to me!

And just as a final note Shanti, I totally agree with you on the socialisation...will explain in a PM probably or is it safe to talk openly now?

BRB with this article hopefully!

Yes you can put it here I would love to read it thanks!!
This thread is only about HS stuff after all
I believe somebody already started a 'school' thread so those discussing school can head over there.

[Rouge]

Moderator Message »
Ok enough with the petty jabs. Not ok. Please do not make a mockery of the mod team by continuing to be disrespectful to those who do not share you POV, and have left this thread so that you can have a safe place to discuss your topic as requested.

Any further comments like this will be dealt with as per forum guidelines. If you wish to discuss this further you can PM me directly.

[Loveinamist]

Can't find the article but in short it had an anecdote of a mother who decided to 'unschool' both her children. Her daughter was really motivated to read so picked it up quite easily but her son was still not showing any signs of even wanting to read at 7ish (I think) and she was beginning to doubt her choice to unschool. Anyway one day she was looking at something on the computer for a family trip or something and he was over her shoulder and just read something out off the screen. She was surprised of course and mentioned it. He just casually said 'oh yeah I forgot to tell you I can read now' and then ran off to play. Then of course he started to read more and more widely and was on his path to learning.
I am in two minds about unschooling as there will always be the teacher in me that wants some structure but I totally agree with waiting for when they are ready and believing in their ability to learn themselves. I have always believed that once you can read anything is possible and a whole world opens up regardless of whether someone is directing you or not. I have sometimes found the expectations in schools fairly low. There was always talk of how all reading material must be within the children's frame of reference to make them interested and not turn them off. So boys were given hundreds of books about football etc. However I totally disagree with this. I grew up in suburban Brisbane but devoured the library collection of Enid Blyton, Anne of Green Gables etc. I had never seen snow, a proper Autumn, squirrels, robins, hedgehogs, 'lashings of ginger beer' ancient castles, a fireplace etc but I still managed to read and enjoy those books and learnt from them. I didn't need to go to school to be taught about them. However I had parents who talked to me and could explain anything I didn't understand. I also grew up with only a handful of kids from other cultures. My child is going to meet more culturally diverse people just walking down the street these days without having to be in the same classroom to experience diversity.

Anyway on socialisation. I just think it is ironic that we spend 12 years of our life being taught to get on with our classmates regardless of who they are (the boofheads, the bullies, the morons etc ) and then the next twenty years trying to get rid of their influence on our decisions, lifestyles etc! I know it has taken me that long to truly be myself and not worry about what my peers will think. And if you are bullied you also have the lifetime emotional scars. I do. I don't think a child has to be thrown into an unnatural setting like a school and sit in the same room as a bully for 12 years to learn the skills to handle them. Wouldn't it be nicer if they could meet these types of people in a more natural setting with the guidance of their parents?

[Shanti]

That last sentence ~~ I totally agree

I agree with your entire post actually and you think along my lines of thought! Are you a primary or high school teacher?

I have come across so many blogs where the homeschool parents used to be teachers and they pulled their kids out of schools as a change of lifestyle among other things....

The number one reason I want to homeschool, is for our family's lifestyle and BONDING as a family. I love how HS offers that. A slower pace of life, less rushing, more quality time spent with your kids
BBL

[*Efjay*]

Chrispe, Tanstar & the others that noted my post Thank you xox

Tanstar - Each week I had been popping my head in to his class room in the morning or afternoon every other day, if I hadn't the chance to do that I usually would flag his teacher down in the playground. If I had not seen her, I had regular catch ups with his aide or support/case manager. He has an IEP, he has aide time. Problem was I was being fed the positives. "He had a good day", "He did really well completing this task". But his teacher was a little less positive but I wasn't reading into it the way I should have. She would tell me he had a ok day or that he had been unsettled or had spent some time in the support unit etc. But at no point did I think I would get to the end of the term & be given the talk that we got.
She was negative about everything. Even school camp.. Evan has issues with sleep. I had expressed my concerns about him sleeping away from home & while his support/aide teachers where positive & encouraging that he at least try 1 night. His class teacher just went on about how disruptive it would be for the other students & that they are planning to have students & teachers in different cabins so there would be no one for him at 3am.
We did not send him to camp for the full event. We drove him down for the middle (main) day, Dh stayed with him & then drove him home early evening (they got home around 7). DH said that his old teacher (as he had changed classes by this point) was horrible. Narky & aggressive in her tone with the kids, had asked for Evans Father to be called to come up (he was trying to give Evan space so he would not cling to him all day) as he was being a distraction. Yet when Simon came (and had actually been watching for afar) he said Evan wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary & was just doing the same as everyone else. IN fact when completing a rope activity he was the only one to go back & help his team mates & lead his team to win the activity through his leadership (need to take control) & several other teachers commented to DH about how well he did.
Back to the topic.. So I think what happened was I was being fed the "what parents want to hear" stuff when really the teacher was fed up from the start. He didn't conform to her way, she wasn't willing to make changes that woudl improve things for him so I took action & had him removed from her class. I mean seriously.. the women sat him next to the door, light switches AND the class BIRD. Then complained he gets up & leaves the room all the time, he flicks the switches all the time & wont leave the bird alone. But then said she has him there when I suggested she move him to the other side of the room away from the bird (I had already taken in visuals to help him realise he was not allowed to touch) because that way he is not wandering through the class room to leave. BLAH anyway..

Chrispe - Small schools.. Im sure there are lovely ones out there BUT we did exactly that to begin with. We moved from western Sydney up to the blue mountains with the main reason being we felt Evan would do better in a small school. When we started the school had 90 kids. We were at the school until the end of yr 2. I had my concerns about his progress & development but was always told he was doing well. He is ok. He is a nice boy. But when i really drilled my concern they got defensive. We moved to QLD & sussing out the schools in the region we enrolled the kids in a school that has 1800 kids P-12 (about 700 on the junior campus). Its a massive school. They have more teachers then the old school had students! With in the month both boys teachers came to me with their concerns. Evan was in grade 3 & did not understand the concept of odds & evens! We had no idea he was that behind, the old school had told us all along he was doing fine, was at the expected level etc. We knew they were struggling but had no idea how badly. Everyone said going from NSW to QLD we would find the boys would probably be a little ahead as QLD curriculum was about 6 months behind NSW. But the reality was, they were about 6 months or so behind the QLD standards. So *that* small school turned me away from that as an option.

New strategies are in place now, I have since spoken with the HOSE & also the regional HOSE so hopefully we can start seeing some improvements with school but I have a long schooling life ahead of me with these kids. I don't recall signing up for this part when i had kids! LOL

[Loveinamist]

That last sentence ~~ I totally agree

I agree with your entire post actually and you think along my lines of thought! Are you a primary or high school teacher?

I have come across so many blogs where the homeschool parents used to be teachers and they pulled their kids out of schools as a change of lifestyle among other things....

The number one reason I want to homeschool, is for our family's lifestyle and BONDING as a family. I love how HS offers that. A slower pace of life, less rushing, more quality time spent with your kids
BBL

Gee pity we are in different countries or we could start our own HS group!

My choice is for lifestyle as well and bonding. I remember watching a programme about the Amish and this family had calculated the hours they wouldn't spend with their children if they sent them to school and it really struck a chord with me. Having been a teacher as well I remember thinking it was mad that I spent more waking time with other people's children than they did with them. I thought it was really sad because I didn't love their children. I liked them but it is not the same. And to be perfectly honest there were some kids I didn't particularly like. I am only human! Of course I would never act like I didn't like them (but unfortunately I have met quite a few teachers in different schools who make their dislike of a pupil quite clear!) Though isn't that sad that that child could be spending all day with someone who only shows a professional respect for them or is trying to like them. I have often heard other teachers describing their relationship with a certain child to that child's parents as 'we have a bit of a personality clash'. Now I finally have a child of my own I can see how heartbreaking that would sound to a parent.

Anyway in answer to your question I was both a primary and secondary teacher. Secondary and Primary in Australia and only Primary in the UK. About 4 years teaching in Aust and about 9 years here in the UK. I was trained as a Secondary teacher in Australia and then retrained in the UK as a primary teacher.

[Shanti]

That's so true about how you said how the teachers don't or can't love our children, it's more a like relationship.
It breaks my heart when I hear my mum say how some of the kids in her class (yr 3) are little sh*ts and are terrible to deal with, she finds them so difficult. I mean, I can understand it would be hard as a teacher dealing with that as so many parents seem to put the schools and teachers in charge of their kids when it doesn't work that way.

I worry that if my DD1 goes to school that the teachers would find her loud, talkative, too sociable, ask too many questions etc and she's super confident and talks like a 4-5yr old!! Everyone she meets is shocked when they find out she's actually only 3. What I am saying is that I feel teachers at school would want her to "quieter down" and "stop talking so much" etc which would dampen her spirit. These are all wonderful qualities she has!! School would try to make her conform to their expectations. I don't want that for her....

I think school teachers would like those kids that are naturally "quieter" and "sit still longer" as they would help the flow of the classroom... does that make sense? I get all of these impressions from talking to my mum as a teacher AND from thinking about my school days and how the teachers labelled me as a "class distraction" are you kidding me??? I am a social butterfly.... nothing wrong with that

[Shanti]

anyone here homeschool their kids and would love to add here?

“To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves...and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.
”
― John Holt