toomanyshoes, it's always worthwhile to see the viewpoint of others.
At DS's nursery, we're told who has bitten whom. And as parents, we all feel VERY bad if our child has attacked someone else and apologise to the child and the mother. Nursery deals with it quickly and yes, when they told me then we sorted it out within a week: that's how it should be. BUT that doesn't mean that we should reserve sympathy only for bitten children. Parents of biters who actually care about their children feel pretty bad and work to overturn the problem. We shouldn't attack them too.
If the parent or the centre tries to blame the victim, then that is very wrong and needs to be dealt with. But a toddler acting out issues needs help, not denigration. And certainly not validation that their behaviour is going unchallenged. These children need more boundaries, not fewer.
All children have a right to be safe. That is why carers need to be watching what happens and intervening at the appropriate time - after the first attack or, ideally, before. NOT after 30 bites, not after the child has attacked three children... right away. If that isn't happening there is a dereliction of care.
If my child had been attacked as yours was, I'd be getting answers or reporting the care centre to the relevent body. Because letting children do that is very wrong, either through poor supervision or lack of action.
toomanyshoes, that's just horrendous. If I'd found DD in that state at daycare I think I would've started biting the carers! I'd report them for sure as LadyZadee suggested.
Lady Zaidie I never said we should only be feeling sorry for the bitten children...
But i honestly believe if a child is being bitten again and again and again (which is what the OP was talking about...) then more than "there, there, it will be ok" needs to be done.
at the end of the day, you care about your child and did something about it but there are plenty of parents who couldn't care less and they tend to be the repeat offenders. If the parents are working with the centre to fix it great! but if the parents don't, the child should be removed from care for the safety of the other kids.. If the child has a history of the behaviour and no one is working on a solution then why does everyone else have to wait around and 'see what happens'?
I just wanted to share my experience on this topic. My DD was in a child care centre where there was a child who was a repeat offender at bitting. He didnt' bite my child that often but she witnessed it. He would also hit, throw things etc. She would often come home and tell me that he had bit, hit, etc one of the children. I also noted a general level of aggression with some of the other children at the centre. After 6 months of my child being in care and not settling in care I pulled her out and put her in a new centre.
She is a different girl now. The improvement was dramatic and only took a couple of weeks. On any occasions where other kids were around she used to cling to me. Now she has faith that other kids can be fun and nice and will happily go off and sit with the kids at library or at playgroup. She wants to go to child care and says they are nice kids.
Do what is best for your child. Bullying had a huge impact on my daughter and the best thing I did was take her to a new centre with a much stricter policy on aggression. IMO 2 year olds do not need to be subjected to bullying.
Toomanyshoes, you should definatly report the centre. At the very least they should have contacted you as soon as the event had happend. I can't imagine how distressing that must have been for you to pick up your child and find them in that state.
So now the biter has started scratching, DD1 has a big red (was bleeding) scratch under her nose. I'm fed the hell up with this!! I'm moving her immediately. I'm going to put in my written notice how there is a huge supervision problem, at the cook is a racist (she referred to one child as "bog irish").
Kazbah, I think it's a private one.
This isn't the first incident that's happened since I made this thread, but I just got so sick of it I decided to move her. So I called and explained politely that I would be terminating her care as of two weeks (that's the notice I'm required to give) and he argued with me!! Can you believe it!!
him: No one was bitten today!
me: No, she was scratched, but I don't care. Aurelia [my dd1] told me it was the same child who always bites and I don't care how she's injured, I don't want her to be injured at all.
him: this child doesn't have any problems with other children.
me: Yes she does! We've SEEN her bite other children, TWICE just recently!
him: Well we're working with the parents about this
me: well that's good but it doesn't make any difference to me, I'm concerned about MY child and I can't let her be hurt anymore.
Can you believe he tried to LIE to me to get me to keep her in the centre?!!! Then today he called me (he owns the centre with his wife and does maintenance etc. he's not a carer) today and offered to move Aurelia up into the next age group away from the biter. Too little too late! They didn't care enough about her welfare to do that in the first place until I moved her so I have zero confidence in them now. I wrote a long email about their victim-blaming, lack of supervision, and the inconsistencies of what they've told me. So her last day will be this wednesday.
I should!! I was recieving free daycare through centrelink, he told me that it was totally sorted out and he never applied for it WTF?! So how exactly was he recieving money for DD1 attending?! The whole move has turned into a huge antic. They're losing credibility by the day.
my free daycare entitlement. Because my family is experiencing hardship I was granted 13 weeks of paid daycare. He told us he had applied for an extention for another 13 weeks (through family assistance office) and that it was approved...
Well that sounds like a load of bull - special CCB - which is what you would be receiving, can only be approved by the centre once, after that, there has to be very special circumstances to get more, and the centre cannot apply it themselves, you have to go through centrelink and a load of paperwork for anythng above the 13 weeks.
Exactly, and he told us that he had done that and it was approved! Now he's saying he never even applied for it, so who's been paying for my daughters daycare for the past month!? It makes no sense.
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