I am not sure quite where to put this thread - the playgroup section seemed more about creating playgroups, not questions about them, so, please move this if you need..
So, when Aiden was born, i went to the health nurse, and from there, did a session a week for 5 weeks with mums and new borns in the area. From there, 7 of us formed a playgroup. All babies within about 2months of each other in age.
We joined a local playgroup, but, we have our own session, so, we have a hall, and all the toys and facilities available to us.
But, my problem is, that we do NOTHING.. it seems to be more of a mothers group, then a playgroup. We pull out the same old toys, the kids play, the mums sit in a circle and discuss their lives, and everyone elses. Some of them are quite opinionated about how others live their lives.. (unless of course you point this out, at which they deny it). We have access to outside play facilities, and, in the 18months we have been been meeting, we have been outside Twice.
Everything is an issue. We had to change the times, as our original meeting was from 1 till 3, but, that started to interrupt nap time. I was one of the first to drop a sleep, so i had to start missing sessions, as it wasnt worth it, for what i went thru with Aiden due to the break in routine.
So, now we meet at 11.15 till 1.15, which means that we have to bring the kids lunch. This is a huge issue for some. Maybe there is something wrong with me.. i always carry on a daily basis with me fruit, musli bars, and about 3 -4 different types of snacks, cause, my theory , you never know what he is going to want to eat. So, for lunch, i do the similar thing, all of the above, plus more. We spend about an hour doing lunch, most of which is taken up of 1 lady in particular stating loudly and often how "she packed her daughters favorite, but, she just wont eat it" other mums comments like "i wouldnt give that to my child..i dont think its good enough for him" or.. "this is my latest purchase from the 100% organic, persertative free, additive free, colour free etc etc section"..
We constantly discuss outings, and how we should do activities, but, nothing ever ever changes.
I understand that people do put alot of emphasis of 100% organic, persertative free, additive free, colour free etc, and that doesnt phase me in the slightest, what upsets me is that they are so openly critical of others decisions to not do the same. I do try to ensure that most of Aidens snacks are from the persertative free, additive free type variety, and lots of fruit, home made meals etc, but, i dont follow it to the wire. I dont critise or tell other people how to raise their children, and i dont expect people to tell me how to raise mine..
So, i decided to start looking for a new playgroup..
I tried a new one on Wednesday..
Huge group, about 15 to 20 kids. I was informed "there is the art stuff over there, but, none of us could be bothered pulling it out" hmm... wasnt happy with that. Was also informed that "all the familys, except one, send their kids to 'private school'". Nothing against that, but, I am not, and i dont want this to become an issue, and for me to be outcast because of that. This was a huge hall, and huge outside area, the kids, ranging from 1yo, to kindy age, ran riot, while 75% of the mums stood around and drank coffee, and about 2 or 3 actually supervised the kids. I seen kids drag other kids to the ground, bang into each other and knock each other over..
It just wasnt what i was expecting..
What i would like, is to walk into a big room, we all pull out the toys, and various crafty activities, and do group play stuff, some craft stuff, play outside etc.. maybe sing some songs. Just something with abit of organisation and structure to it, not an opportunity for people to drink coffee, brag about their latest trips, and not have any idea of where their kids are, or what they are doing.
I don't think you're expecting too much, the playgroup I go to is much more structured - could you keep an eye out for playgroups that are run by a group? For example, my playgroup is run by a church, so there is a co-ordinator who reminds parents to supervise their children, and tells us when it's time for inside play, outside play, morning tea, songs.
yeah it sounds like what you are looking for is an organised play group session run by some sort of community group. have a look into places like churches, universities that run teaching courses, YMCA, maybe C&K. you could even go to a music themed place such as kinder musik, kinderdance, forte music etc that run little sessions for the kids related to music/dance etc. sometimes your council library has story telling days and you could easily become friendly with the parents and kis that go there. ummm... cant think of any ideas at the moment bt it sounds like the play group you go to at the moment are more for the parents which is fine but doesnt sound like what you are looking for.
I don't think you are being unreasonable. What you are wanting is what I would expect from a playgroup. I will watch this thread with interest as to advice you are given I imagine at some stage I will be looking for a playgroup for DD as we don't know many people in this area
Our playgroup has free play, but the parent is supposed to stay with the child cause we are on kindergarten grounds. Not all parents do that, and I am guilty as charged but being playgroup co-ordinator plus the president of the Kindy there was always something for me to do there so one of the other mums would usually watch Ashton.
10am is fruit time, and we all bring in a piece for fruit to share. So there is no "my food is better than your food"
We then go back to free play. Free play consists of sandpit outside, crafts if you want to do craft, painting, or just playing with toys inside or outside. One of the mums last year introduced song time at the end of each session. So that is now done as well
I LOVE our playgroup. We pay $95/term for 1 x 1.5 hr session a week. But it is basically Kinder but we stay. They have free play, very involved activities (could be cooking, present making you name it!) as well as a new craft activity each week, painting, play-doh, puzzles, stories, the pretend corner (which has been a shop, an office, a hospital, a campsite and many other things...), trains, blocks, dressups, dollhouse and many many more activities. We also have a story, a sing a long and outdoor play which is also partly structured.
The lovely lady who runs the playgroup has been a kinder teacher for nearly 30 years. She is absolutely gorgeous, she was also one of Paris' Kinder teachers and will be one of Seth's. Our playgroup runs from our Kinder but I would definitely recommend looking at Pre-School or private school run playgroups for more of a structured plan.
I don't think you are asking too much - a lot of what you have mentioned in precisely why I left my local playgroup. I was looking for something a bit more structured, not just ditch the kids on the floor and b*tch about stuff or gossip. I am not interested in that in the slightest, and I felt I was probably being talked about too, when wasn't there, as a strange cloth loving, full term breastfeeding hippie he he. Anyway. I found a wonderful Steiner playgroup. It is quite a drive but we make the effort at least once a fortnight.
Basically we arrive and the children and parents sit around a small table and knead a piece of their own dough, making a shape/bread roll. After that the kids have free play with the beautiful steiner toys. After that we wash hands and prepare for morning tea. We have fruit and the freshly baked bread rolls. Afterwards we have a little more play time and then pack up all the toys and have circle time - a few songs and maybe a story. It is all very nurturing and parents are involved, not seperate. Also as the playgroup is steiner inspired we have little songs that transition the children from one activity to the next (which the children love and sing along to), making it a really harmonious and enjoyable morning!
Maybe you have a Steiner playgroup near you?
We have a playgroup in our area (I live rurally) and it's great. the first Wednesday every month, we have a lady from a company called Hey Dee Ho, who comes out with musical instruments, songs dances and a few bit and bobs and sings songs with the kids for an hour or more. All the mums join in with their kids, and the kids LOVE it! It costs us $8 each time, but it's well worth it.
We have a roster system for activities, where one person has to set up an acitivity that is different to most other weeks. I did some pasting with magazine cut outs (nothing too flash). We all pitch in to help pull out all the toys and pack them up.
We all take a peice of fruit each week to cut up and share between the kids. DS is mega fussy, so I always take something for him but try him with the fruit first.
We also havea roster for a different person to provide morning tea for the mums.
We are all really laid back and there's no chatter about how bad such and such is etc, but I might just be lucky because we are all reasonably isolated.
We also have a playground outside the hall which the kids run out and play on for half an hour.
Our group starts at 10am and goes until everyone is ready to go home. It suits some sleep patterns, but not others. If someone needs to leave early, it's no drama.
I have no idea if that's what you would expect or not. hehe. That's just what happens here. We also have a few fundraisers throughout the year for new toys etc.
I don't think what you are asking is too much. I would call a few and ask exactly what you get for your money. I went to our first playgroup last week run by a local church.
They had different 'stations' with different activities such as painting, drawing, playdough, duplo/lego, and then other toys.
After free time play, all the kids sat down and had morning tea which we bought ourselves then had outside play, then come inside for a short story and songs.
Time is from 9.30 til 11.15.
We pay $40 a term and in addition they ask that you help with some fund raising during the terms so they can upgrade toys etc...
thanks girls.. i was starting to worry it was just me.
I dont expect to have someone ring a bell to say its time to move to the next activity, but, just more "station" type things set up, as well as general toys etc.. just as you girls have said you experience.
I did try the last playgroup in my suburb today.. no one was there. There is a suburb only about 10min away, that has more church & school based playgroups, which i guess might be my better option. I just worry then that if it will be an issue as i wont be sending my kids to that school.
wanted to add that that we do other things too which are great for the kids and also for me to socialize with adults
Library does reading group and a baby rock and rhyme
The council runs kindagym
The local neighbourhood house runs playgroup, reading group and chat and much (basically food and adult chat while the kids play)
We also do prekinda once a week.
All these things are great, some are all about playing with the kids, others are sitting back and letting the kids play while the adults chat.
I think the thing with some playgroups is you have to realise that these are parents that probably don't have another outlet or much other adult conversation. Sometimes it's nice to go to a playgroup where it's relaxed and the kids play.
And unfortunately as mothers, we automatically critisise others choices. Most of the time it's not to their face... that's a little rude, but most people do it to other people (partners, family, other friends)... I know I do it I don't think less of the person, just that I wouldn't make those choices (for example my bestie feeding her 2 year old fizzy drinks like coke ) and I've said it to mum and the boys father but I wouldnt' say it to her, I still love her the same it's just something I wouldn't personally do!
Playgroup - are my expectations to high?
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I imagine at some stage I will be looking for a playgroup for DD as we don't know many people in this area
I don't think less of the person, just that I wouldn't make those choices (for example my bestie feeding her 2 year old fizzy drinks like coke ) and I've said it to mum and the boys father but I wouldnt' say it to her, I still love her the same it's just something I wouldn't personally do!
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