Is it wrong?

[Tegan]

My daughter is 13 months old and i have never been involved in a mothers group, much to the annoyance of my parents and family. I had intentions of getting involved earlier however have been quite unwell this year and was most recently diagnosed with a severe lactose intolerance and a couple of other things, which coupled with the new life of a mother left me wiped out.
Anyway i wanted to ask the question: do you think being involved in a mothers group is an integral part of a childs development?

[Arimeh]

Tegan, I'm not involved in a mother's group either - and i thought they were more for support for the mother than development for the child!! :-) I have my DS in day care one day a week, so that takes care of his development and social skills with other children. I would say that it is up to you if you want to participate in a mother's group or not. I don't think my mum did it with us kids - and we're fine.. basically ;-)
Where in qld are you from?

[mumzy]

Until they are over 18mths...bubs don't really play together but do love looking at each other.
It's more a mum thing to unwind and ***** about things....which is better then therapy!!
But definitely don't feel guilty if things have worked out like they have.
She is still young and eventually when you feel better do let her socialize.
It doesn't have to be a mothers group but something, even seeing cousins etc

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Tegan, remember the phrase healthy mum = healthy baby? If you aren't up for mothers' groups then you shouldn't go. Does your baby ever see other babies? Play in the park? Leave the house? I don't think babies need to have "friends", but it is a good idea to let them know there are more people their age out there.

[Tegan]

Thanks guys, that makes sense! I didnt think i was doing anything terribly wrong but mothersguilt is like a big bad monster. I am getting back into work/study, so she will def be attending a childcare soon. I live on the sunshine coast, mooloolaba.

[Arimeh]

We could get together if you wanted Tegan - my DS is only slightly younger than your bub, and I live in Nambour. I work at Coolum :-)

[Tegan]

She goes for daily outings, sees alot of extended family - not many kids but whenever we do se a child out shes staring at them, waving and wanting to say hello, which is why i think i feel guilty because i can see she needs the interaction. Ahhhwell I know i am a good mother, and if you can say that well you ain't doing too badly!

[Tegan]

Hi mel, That sounds great, let me know when your avail in the next week or so and we can organise a time and place. Your bubs born on the same day a month apart! So happy first bday to your little boy!

[Arimeh]

Thanks!!!!!! I work on Wed - Fri, so any monday or tuesday is usually pretty good for me! :-) I don't mind where, you can suggest somewhere if you like. I just have to get the car from DH thats all. Which isn't a problem, he works in Maroochydore, so I can drop him off at work and then mosey on over to you if you like?

[MantaRay]

Tegan, it is really hard to do these things when you have two. I really wanted Jack to go to playgroup while I was on maternity leave, and we did start going. But as Tom got to old to sleep in the sling the whole time it all became too hard. He would want to sleep at that time so be tired and grizzly, but wouldn't sleep if we weren't at home. So in the end I dropped playgroup and Jack didn't seem to miss it at all.

I think what you are doing is just fine. Both your kids are getting lots of stimulation and lots of love. They have all they need. Tell that mother guilt (and those interfereing relatives) to leave you alone!!

[BeautifulMadness]

hmmm i dont go to a mums group either. but i am hoping to get DS into playgroup.

[Kitt3n]

I think mothers groups are more for the mothers than the kids - playgroup or something similar is more for the development of the child (social skills etc).
I have heard of many mums loving their mothers group and their new friends, others feel so bad when they get home cos its just a comparison thing for some mums! (oh, well my son is already walking, shouldnt yours be by now?? etc)

[tan32]

I never went to mothers group with either of my bubs, They both went into childcare at 1 as i returned to work.

[Tanya]

Is a mothers group different to a playgroup? I have just started to take the kids to a local playgroup. I spend most of my time there playing with my kids while they play. I hate the first time I went tho, I felt like an alien!!

Good luck Tegan

[Tegan]

hey mel, monday tuesday works for me aswell. why dont we say next tues 22nd. Sounds like getting the car would be a little hassle, i dont mind coming to you, if it is easier! Otherwise you can come over to my house. Whatever suits!

[Tegan]

Thankyou girls for your words of wisdom, this was my first post and have been amazed at the response. I should have joined this site ages ago! Its just the reassurance i needed!
I now know what to say to my pesky family next time they call and ask if i have joined one yet!

[widdly]

absolutely not! I think a Mother's Group is an important part of a new mother's life to remind her that she is not the only one going through things, but i don't think it would have much of an effect on the baby. If you want your toddler to start being involved with other kids maybe look into going to a Playgroup? Don't feel bad about not going to Mother's Group, I didn't go to one and my son is a very happy sociable child

[canberramomma]

I HATED mothers groups the few times I went and resisted any similar group until Liam was climbing the walls with boredom. Then we went to library story time and a very informal playgroup or just went for a walk to the park.

He's a very social little boy, so I don't think it's hurt him. I didn't even attempt mothers group for Skaja!