Advice desperately needed - ex boyfriend - how do I just leave it alone??!!

[~Kaz~]

This personality type leaves an absolute trail of destruction in their wake. Some mistrust and wariness is good. It will help keep you and your family safe. Too much borders on paranoia and starts to hurt you and those around you. Try to stay in the middle hun. Balance. And there is nothing wrong with remembering the harm he did to you, but focus on your obvious strengths in surviving him, in moving on, in growing as a person. Don't continue to give him any more power over yourself or your life today by worrying about him. He doesn't deserve it and neither do you. Like I said, if you need support to stop giving him power (emotionally) then please seek it for the sake of your current family. If you ever want to chat, I am only a pm away. xx

[ShootingStar]

Hey hun. I have an ex that sounds very much like yours. He never physically abused me but everything else he did. I feel bad for that girl but hun, if it were my ex, its just not worth the risk. Theres chances that if you contact that girl, she wouldnt listen anyway.. i had everyone telling me how bad my ex was but i wouldnt listen.. i had to find out for myself. So it may be the same for that girl. Hopefully she too will find the light too, but i guess you have to think about whats most important in your life now and protect that first, before someone you dont know, iykwim.

[feeb]

Hun as horrible as it is to worry about someone else getting hurt and abused in the end it is not your issue she is a noone to you and you risk him finding you and your family and the rollarcoaster of fear starts again.

Do not do anything, even sending snail mail and posting from a different suburb he will know it was you. Don't put you or your family at risk.

[LizLemon]

Thanks Shooting star and Feeb.

It looks like the overwhelming response is let sleeping dogs (ain't that appropriate!) lie.

It's just hard to watch someone (potentially) make all the same mistakes you made yourself.

Thanks everyone for your input - I really appreciate it!

[diannescruffy]

I also agree with leaving it alone. It's highly unlikely she would believe you anyway, sometimes we just need to learn from our mistakes.

Regards,
Dianne

[mummato1]

My ex sounds very much like yours... it takes a long time to get over a relationship like that! I know I would also feel the same if my ex moved back to the area I live in and started seeing someone. But you know what.. I think it is also best to leave it. I dont think she would believe you, new love is blinding and it would create far more problems for you and your family than its worth. I was told when I started seeing my ex and I saw plenty of signs but chose to ignore them!

I will admit I do still google / fb my ex every so often to see where he is.. I know I shouldnt but it sometimes get the best of me and I have to check. I also feel better knowing he is no where near me!