Argh I can't do it!

[jellybean88]

My PND and anxiety is going up and down and replaying much the same as last time which got pretty bad

But I just can't bring myself to start on the medication the anxiety Is making me worry about it affecting my baby from breastfeeding and I'm just not a fan of medications either

I have researched this topic to death and it should be ok for her but my anxiety is getting in the way of my decisions
As well as somedays I can manage but most it's just overwhelming and stressful and I feel I shouldn't put up with this up and down

I can't get into see a psych for a month