Byron Katie/Eckhardt Tolle/Buddhist Philosopy and self responsibility

[Maruschke]

I can see the merit in total responsibility in some situations eg. if someone tells me "you really should get an iPhone" of course I would feel totally responsible for my feelings if I felt angry, aggrieved or whatever because really that situation doesn't matter and if their thoughts upset me it says more about me, than them.

But if DP was on the computer while I was cooking dinner, trying to feed DD, change her nappy and put her to bed and I said, "I feel like you're not pulling your weight" and he responded by saying, "well, you're responsible for your own feelings," then that wouldn't sit well with me. I would think that the responsible thing to do would for us to both talk about our feelings and try to understand the other person's point of view rather than for me (to not say anything thinking I'm totally responsible for my own feelings) and for DP (to brush my feelings aside).

But I don't know anything about the philosophers you've mentioned FC so I should learn more about them before even attempting to respond. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds fantastic in theory and there certainly are merits in that POV but I'm not sure that ANY philosophy fits all situations.

I think the points made in this thread is fantastic. It really is wonderful to be responsible for our own feelings. I think being responsible for our own feelings doesn't mean always sitting back and saying nothing, but speaking (or not speaking) and acting from a position of emotional maturity that is independent of how the other person is treating us. What do you think?

[Inanna]

I think that too Xanthe... I don't think it's allowing abuse though. When we can be an observer of our life & mindful and watchful of reaction... Reaction is always (I believe) from the ego... At least emotional reaction...

It's hard often though hey?

[Maruschke]

I think that too Xanthe... I don't think it's allowing abuse though. When we can be an observer of our life & mindful and watchful of reaction... Reaction is always (I believe) from the ego... At least emotional reaction...

It's hard often though hey?

It is very hard sometimes . Especially when you need to respond quickly, or are frazzled and tired. It requires fast self reflection! And I find this difficult if my day has been one constant rush.