I am a jealous person and I hate it.. It is due to my insecurities. I am mainly jealous emotionally, with partners (but, much less so when I feel secure) and I am jealous that other people find it easy to get pregnant and I don't.. I don't think it consumes me though.. I am extremely aware of it.. I am not jealous of materialistic things.. ( I don't think)...
I SO could have written this myself.

I have been guilty of being that jealous that i destroyed a friendship, my relationship and made nearly everybody around me hate me. I wanted a baby SOOO bad and when my SIL got pregnant with her 4th i lost it. I called her horrible names, i think i contributed to her PND i will never forgive myself for what i put her through and i'm lucky she speaks to me now.