i am sure this is even about competitiveness.

i read your post, and what hits me, is that you share something you've just achieved (e.g lost a certain amount of weight) and instead of the person you're telling this, being glad for you, or acknowledging the positiveness of what you've achieved, they are IMMED into comparisions. So YOU lost X? i lost X+2.

So instead of your listener being supportive, they go into comparisions.

that makes you feel not listened to, like your achievement was belittled.

i get that.

i noticed in my early mother's group, so many mums were like that, every topic turned into comparisions. Even if that was not the purpose of raising the topic. It made me feel like so many topics were off limits, cos i didn't want to start a comparision thing going, just cos i said one thing about OUR situation.

it really taught me to "pick my battles", and really be choosey about who i discussed many topics with. to find supportive people that wouldn't jump into comparisions, when i wanted to talk about my stuff. Not easy.

Leesa, I'm happy for you that you are losing your baby weight, be proud of your achievements. People who don't celebrate them with you, do not have your best interests at heart.

i had people (around me when bilby arrived) go ON AND ON about her birthweight, negatively, and it really peed me off too. i kept thinking "you've just arrived, we both nearly died and all these idiots can say is how massive you are, how can they be so insensitive, i've waited five years for you to be here, you are here, you're alive and i think you're beautiful, i don't care what you weigh. bubs are meant to have baby fat, it's fine". i told myself all this, to cope with all the sledging - well that's what it felt like at the time. Slights. As if she wasn't the "right" weight. (she came out at 42 weeks). The weight seems so arbitrary, who freaking cares what the bub weighs? i figured her being alive was the main thing. I couldn't work out why these same people couldn't just be happy for me, instead of coming out with such downers.

they did such a good job of brainwashing me, i went home thinking, she'll skip the 0000 clothing i had ready for her. Nope, we still needed them. argh!