It really depends on the particular situation. But I beleive the key is acceptance. It doesn't mean you have to like the situation, or agree with the situation, but that you can accept that the situation is beyond your control. Sometimes you may need to examine the situation repeatedly to assure yourself that there is nothing you can do NOW to change it (it doesn't matter what you might have been able or not been able to do in the past - just what you can / cann't do now). It means you need ot then make a conscious decision to say "that sucks, but I CANN't do anything to change it. What are my options now (with continuing your life without the situation changing)?

A couple of example from my life just recently:
I received a huge rates bill ($3000ish) - it was about a year late in being sent to me and was racking up interest like there is no tomorrow. It was ACT revenues FAULT that this had happened. Thing is, it doesn't matter who's fault it is. I still have to pay the bill. I still have to find $3000 in the next two months (after some negotiation on timeframe) while we are broke and have other expenses. Nothing is going to change it, I have to accept it. So I accept that that is the reality of the situation and move on from there. (am still trying to figure out how - but that is a different problem).

Someone ran into my car while I was driving yesterday. He was at fault, there was nothing I could have done differently, or that I could possibly do now differently. Crap happens, and I have accepted that. It doesn't matter that he done something wrong - dwelling on it, stewing on it, doesn't help anything. Instead I have accepted that it happened and need to do what I need to do to move on from here (ie, police report, insurance, getting damage fixed, etc). It sucks, but there is nothing else I can do. I cann't change it. It happened.

I take comfort in the knowledge, that somehow, things will work out in the end and that as stressful as some event or situation may be, 'this too shall pass'. I look at the bigger picture and acknowledge that 'yes' my situation sucks, but instead of being resentful of what is wrong about it, I look at what is positive (although sometimes the only way to see the positive is to compare it to something much worse). My car accident - no-one was hurt, and the damage could have been worse; the guy who done it might have been a jerk instead of the compassionate (somewhat shellshocked) person he was. The huge unexpected bill - Could have been bigger; might have still not been sent to the right address racking up more in interest and I might have only found out when the debt collector came knocking or when I was declined for credit somewhere; we may be broke, but we will do what we can, pay what we can and things will inevitably sort themselves out - afterall, there is nothing else we can do.