I have very expectations of myself as well as my kids and DH. I am a perfectionist.
Given that DS is G&T i expect him to be a vet, dr, scientist, pharmacist etc.. When he says he wants to become a shop keeper, i just tell him to be a pharmacist and that way he can be a shop keeper too
Turkish Delight by G&T I assume you mean gifted and talented? If so I think it is natural to assume and go so far as to "expect" that your child will have a career that utilises his talents. Theoretically in the same way that statistically I can assume that since DH has 2 undergrad degrees and a masters and I have 2 degrees and am a lawyer that our boys will end up with some form of post-yr 12 qualifications. But I wonder if you have thought about what it can be for a child to grow up with the weight of parental expectation? I was always going to be a doctor or a lawyer, I was told this by the age of two. I ended up doing law rather than medicine because I stopped paying attention to maths in grade 6. Why? Because I was always told I was so smart, I refused to do anything that didn't come naturally. I wasn't brilliant at math (I only got Bs, not As) so I didn't do it. This is a common phenomenon with kids who are told they are "smart" - they are more likely to see themselves as "dumb" if they fail at something, while a child who is praised for their tenacity, their hard work, and so on, is more likely to see a failure as an opportunity to work harder next time.
I know I am OT and please don't take this as an attack, because everyone and every situation is different. I just encourage you to do a bit of reading on the psyhology behind encourgaing kids because there are positive and negative ways of doing it.
Hugs Cookalooks, you definately don't sound like you have PND!!
IKWYM Rory - I was always told I was a genius at primary school. Not the case, just the child who came top of the class overall.
At senior school, I was relaxed about work and was still clever. But when I had life issues, I couldn't just cruise on by, my world fell apart... to the point that I was told, in so many words, that I was too stupid to ever be accepted onto a medical course. My grades weren't good enough. I still have trouble seeing myself out of the "I'm a failure" mindset from EVERY little criticism.
I compliment DS's work by pointing out what he has done well. I compliment his enquiring mind. I do use the word clever - but I use "observant" or "hard-working" or something like that a lot more than "clever". FiL just calls him very bright every five minutes, so he's not missing out!
I'm enquiring about getting femily counselling on dealing with his G&T. I've got a few options atm. We've never had any G&T kids in the family, so we don't know how to handle him. He is quite a handful at times
TD, I can only imagine. I have no idea what I'd do if my DD was presenting the same kind of challenges as your DS. I think you're doing a great job to look at the way you deal with him and get assistance.
Yep, I have expectations for my children. I expect that they will do their best in what ever that they endevour. I hope that they will be kind and gracious. I also hope that they are humane and courteous.
I don't really care if they are good at sports but I hope that they have healthy lifestyles. I'm not fussed if they aren't clever but if they don't enjoy learning or understand the magic of books then I will feel that I have failed to impart something important.
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FiL just calls him very bright every five minutes, so he's not missing out!
TD, I can only imagine. I have no idea what I'd do if my DD was presenting the same kind of challenges as your DS. I think you're doing a great job to look at the way you deal with him and get assistance.
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