I have a sister who is a single struggling mum. She has alot of drama going on in her life. According to her I am the selfish, lucky one leading a cushy life. I can completely relate to your brother in this.

Her issues are not my problem. Full stop.

I may choose to offer a sympathetic ear sometimes, alot of the time I won't, because I am not good at keeping my mouth shut when I have an opinion (you might have noticed ) - so it is better just not to get involved at all. I don't like her choices, and I don't feel I have any resposibility at all emotionally, financially or otherwise to dig her out of a hole that she got herself into. I might sound like a b!tch to you for this. My sister sometimes gets miffed at me. I know she thinks I have it easy, and she is jealous of my situation. BUT we maintain a relationship seperate from her issues, because that is the only relationship we can have.

We love each other, we talk, we laugh, we enjoy many family activities together. But we do not share or agree on many issues in life - it is better that we accept these differences and move on.

If either of us were unable to accept these differences, then I would be sad to loose a sister, BUT I am not and cannot be responsible for another persons life outside of my immediate family. My immediate family does not include my siblings, nor my parents any longer - not since I grew up and got married. My immediate family and thus my responsibility is solely my DH and my three children.

The same goes for my DH - he also has 5 siblings like I do. But he's first and foremost responsibility is to me and our kids. Not exceptions.

Having said all that IF we can support someone emotionally, we will do so to the best of our ability without compromising ourselves or our own family. Financially, no. There is no entitlement to our support however. It is only there if we choose to offer it freely, and if we do not, then that is your problem, not ours.

After reading your second post, I am convinced now even more then before that you are suffering from jealousy. You a bitter, because you had unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement.

You and your kids went through a horrible life. OK. that is horrible, truely it is.
I just fail to see how this is in any way, shape or form your brothers fault or problem. Just because his life may appear 'perfect' in comparision, does not mean that it is. Even if it is, that does not mean that he is therefore required to shoulder your pain and suffering.

If you truely cannot accept this, and cannot forgive him for the faults you perceive in him. Then you have a decision to make. Be bitter whenever you are around him, or be bitter and cut him out of your life.

Sue - I have read quite a number of your posts, you seem to thrive on drama. Forgiveness is a choice. If you cannot forgive him, it is because either consciously or unconsciously you are choosing not to do so. You and your brother disagree on this issue - you will not change his mind and he will not change yours. So you have a decision to make, forgive him or don't. Either way it is likely you are only going to be hurting yourself.