I have been aware of this failing in my personality for a very long time but cant seem to change it. I think it has alot to do with my mum. She has a very negative personality ( and going through what she has in her life im not suprised) but it really rubs off on me. Whenever i see her i feel so drained. Everything seems like a battle with her. Its hard to explain but for example when ds drinks he tends to spit his water out all over himself. For me its not a big deal, its hot, so what if he gets a bit wet. For her its a major drama and he must be changed immediately. Things like that. I also spend alot of time thinking about what is bad in my life and i kinda end up making things up. In my head i know that my life is perfect, my family is happy and healthy, we are comfortable and we all love each other but i think about other things like how horrible it is that we have a small house and i cant keep it clean etc. Its very unhealthy and makes me feel depressed alot of the time. I can get myself worked up over absolutely nothing. Afterwards i just feel ridiculous. I wonder if there is such a thing as a depressive personality... my dad died when i was 21 after a short battle with Cancer and i feel like that has had a profound affect on me and how i see the world. Kind of like an excuse to feel like i do which its not.
For starters though hun, it's not a failing in your personality. Hell no. I think it's admirable that you're recognising and looking to develop yourself.

Your mum sounds like a lot of the people in my life and feeling drained is a fantastic descriptor, so I totally understand. My Dh is somewhat like this too, so I understand about you feeling sort of trapped in the negativity.

For me it was about consciously letting go of that negativity. I will not let something that will have no further impact on my life get to me. Sure people are rude/stupid whatever, but unless it endangers my health/safety/future or that of my kids well then really what's the big deal? Don't swaet the small stuff is a great phrase.
Little negativities often add up to big stuff in your head, so start small.

I choose how I as an adult will respond in a situation. Even as tired and cross as I sometimes feel, I try to use an upbeat voice in response to whatever the negative neely is offering in my direction. Be it one of the kids, DH or a total stranger. Kinda like 'faking it till you make it'. A brighter voice makes me feel better and often changes the mood of the situation.

I try an do something that makes me smile every day. Be it something silly like fooling around with the camera for a few minutes, or dancing with the kids, or singing out loud, running through the sprinkler, having a clean sink to wake up to - whatever. It doesn't have to be therapeautic or fancy or expensive. It makes me happy.

Like AngelPunks i spend a few mintues meditating too. Makes me feel more zen.

I'm also a fan of identifying what I'm grateful for in blergh times and I have a pinboard over my desk with neat stuff like Lulu said. Cool pictures/photos, fabric I love, quotes etc. It changes with my whims but that's what makes it cool.

DH try and talk about all the cool things we did that day late at night so it's a nicer mood to go to bed with.

As for the big stuff, stuff liek where will the money come from? Major family issues etc. i have a notebook, just a plain one from coles that I write down a plan of action if it is really bothering me. Lots of people moan about their issues (my DH is a great one for it) but have no real plan of action to reverse them. When I realise I have something to moan about I try to formulate a plan of action for it. Once it's written down with, i try not to let myself stress about it.

My favourite quote is
"If you don't like it, change it
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it"