How do you convince someone not to give up?

[C~Q]

Thanks guys x You're right tms, I would be the same which is why I gues I want to know what I can say, what I should say...I can't say it'll be alright but then again I can't say "you're right it's all stuffed" yanno?

He doesn't want anything from me, constantly tells me there is nothing I can do. And it's not about that really...I don't want to know what to do as such...just help with what to say and how to be around him. I know I should just be myself but I don't know whether to be the eternal optimist or quiet and just listen. I can be the eternal optimist...it's quite easy for me...its the way I think. But I can see it can also be quite annoying, maybe he wants me to agree and say that it's not fair and that it shouldn't be happening to him.

and when, if ever, do you say that you can understand when they say they want to end it all? Because I can understand it, and that devastes me.

[toomanyshoes]

I think ultimately you should be honest. I don't think there is a "right things to say and not to say" list, everyone is different but if I knew someone prior to getting sick (or in the very early stages) and they were one way I would be disappoint if they were someone else towards the end.

Maybe move away from it having to be "fight it" or "you're stuffed" and more about.....(trying to think of the right words)...I'm not sure how to word it but maybe just listen to him, you don't need to respond in those kinds of way. Tell him you think this sucks and you can understand he's tired and wants it to end.

Does he seek you out for contact or is it you contacting him? I'm not trying to be nasty but do you think maybe he really doesn't want anything from you at this point? Maybe you should listen to that, maybe give him some space. What's the longest you have gone without contact since it got really bad? Maybe go a week or so and then touch base with "still here, still thinking about you and how much this sucks, if you need anything I'm always here" or something along those lines.

I know you want to be there for him, I know you want to support him but if he really doesn't want you around I also think you need to respect that. Maybe seeing you suffer is more pain for him?