How do you 'fix' yourself? (sorry long)

[Fleur]

I wanted a better title but couldn't think of any

So, I turned 33 last month & a few things came up for me. I think this is when I get to start feeling like a grown-up and I feel like it's time to shed all my excess baggage & start really being 'me' ITMS.


EDIT - I have removed most of what i originally posted, I kind of decided it wasn't relevant... it's enough to say that I can look back & logically understand why I think / feel the way I do but I'm kind of stuck as to how to change those thought patterns.
ANYWAY
What I want to know is.
I've decided I don't want to be like that anymore, I have had enough... it's not really ME, you know? In my head, I know so much better, I just can't make myself feel it deep down. I feel like I kind of 'get' where it's all coming from... and I see it from a different viewpoint as an adult.
I don't want to wallow in self-pity, I want to fix myself!

I've had counselling before, I don't know if I saw the wrong people for me or if I require something a bit more to the point. Or can I do it myself?
What do you do to get rid of old emotional baggage you no longer need?

Wow, this is harder to write than I thought it would be
and I so did NOT mean to write a novel :/
If you made it through all that, well done