Just thought I'd ask... maybe this is why they used to say "Don't educate women, if they think too much they won't want to do the house work" LOL sadly this is true for me today. ETA: I know what it's like to have a toddler distract though thanks for reading.
I think both pride and humility have their place. I am happy for DS to take pride in doing an 8-piece jigsaw all by himself: it's a good skill. Should he be 14, I'd expect him not to have pride in that achievement. It's an expected skill then.
I am proud of things I do. I know I could do better sometimes, which is good in tempering the pride. I know there are things I'm not so good at. It's foolish pride that would make me do them and not let DH do them when he's better at it. I think it's just realisim we need. Pride in things which are rightfully there to be proud of (something we work hard on or a new skill learnt). Humility in things we know we cannot do as well as others (pretty much everything in life someone can do better than us, so we should acknowledge that). But so long as we know our limits, that's good too.
I'm a lot better at playing monsters than sitting DS down to a game of dominoes - and my mother was horrified by the fact DS couldn't play dominoes, snap... backgammon. I could at 2. I can only get DS to sit down to play trains, not board games. That doesn't mean I'm a bad mother. We play turn-taking games, thing is we take turns to chase and be caught. So I'm not upset that she tried to humiliate me in Early Learning Centre by being shocked we don't play dominoes, I think she's silly for not seeing DS has different needs and is doing well in his own way. Not in her way, but that's not the important way.
I totally agree that it's normal to have pride in things we do... I am proud of lots of things that I have done... and I encourage my kids to be proud of their achievements too. But what I was kinda mulling over is how much self pride is good? When does too much become too much? It's not necessarily about things we do... more about who we are. The pride that stops us from saying we are sorry... the pride that stops us from giving credit where credit is due to a person we might not like but has done something worthy of praise. Do you know what I mean? The negative kind of pride that makes us feel the need to put down others ("ooooh she's too fat to wear that") so that we feel better about ourselves. This is the kind of pride I think is becoming more noticible in society. The kind that makes us define ourselves by our possessions. It's the gangster with that arrogant strut sticking his chin out at every poor bloke who passes him by and demanding "respect"... "hey bro, don't 'dis me!" I mean, what is that??? Whatever it is I don't want my sons to have a bar of it!!!! Guys like that would avoid feeling humble at ALL costs and it's not just an affliction of the young... it's also in the grumpy old guy who insists that "things were better in my day" and refuse to acknowledge anything good about "the youth of today".... it's all essentially misguided pride.
Last edited by Bathsheba; September 2nd, 2009 at 10:34 PM.
I think Ryn's right about being real. If I'm proud, but am right to be proud (and am proud in the context of knowing my strengths and weaknesses - as opposed to unrealistically saying 'I'm more valuable than other people because I'm good at things') that's okay, and if I'm humble but realistically (as in not thinking 'I'm less valuable than other people because I'm not good at things', but more thinking 'well I'm not good at everything so I don't need to boast and can let other people have their shiny moments') then I think that's good too.
I don't say "oooh, that does no favours for her backside" nastily though! I watch the TV and it reminds me why I threw out anything lycra for the backside and I wonder why anyone with my figure would agree to wear that outfit! OK it makes me feel a bit better for throwing out the lycra but mostly I want to show that woman she could look so much better if she did too. I want her to look good, not bad so that I look good.
I really like seeing other women looking good. How else do I get new make-up ideas if other women don't look fantastic? Or how do I see what clothes may suit me if someone with my shape doesn't wear good/bad things first?
As for "dissing" people - I will not respect anyone who cannot say the word "disrespect" in full, let alone use it properly and in context. If you are going to have a word as your little catchphrase then do it properly for pity's sake! The phrase should be "are you showing me a lack of respect?" not "are you dissing (disrespecting) me?" - hmmm, maybe I should start correcting anyone who dares to say this to me.
You are making my head hurt again Bath!! lol
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thanks for reading.
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